"By the Way..." & Plane Pr0n

Heh:

Yeah... who pays for this stuff?

―:☺:―

Fourth and fifth-gen fighters, together: 

Air Frame: F-22 Raptors of the 1st Fighter Wing at JB Langley-Eustis, Va., fly in formation with F-15 Eagles of the Massachusetts Air National Guard's 104th FW in Westfield during a flyover of Arlington National Cemetery, Nov. 9, 2012. (Staff photo by Arie Church) (Click on image above to reach larger version.)

Beautiful.

My Feelings o' Inadequacy Just Shot Up

I signed a petition... one that's right dead center for us "Thanksgiving Comes First" peeps.  (Go here to sign!)  And what did I get for bein' a Good Guy and supporting the cause?  THIS:

Hell, I don't even have **17** friends, let alone 170.  Who in the Hell has 170 friends, anyway?  Anyone?  Bueller?

Bother, Indeed

Pretty dumb move for such a smart guy.  But we're all human...

―:☺:―

And now fer sumthin' completely different...  Today's the day we celebrate Veterans Day, as in a lot o' folks get the day off.  That's if you work for the various shades o' gub'mint or a bank; nearly everyone else is back in the traces today.  I found it strange that I got every Veterans Day off while I was in the Air Force... and technically not yet a veteran... but I WORKED every single Veterans Day after I retired from the AF.

I get the day off now, though.  

How Do They DO This?

Life is full o' minor mysteries and one of the latest... in my world... is this:

That's a pic of "Tomatoes On the Vine," which come five tomatoes to a package, all fruits attached to a real (formerly) live tomato vine (I've already eaten one from this package).   The fruits are also remarkably uniform in size from package to package.  The produce aisle of my grocery store always has at least 15 to 20 such packages in the tomato section and I'm obsessed with wonder about this phenomenon: how do the growers achieve this level of uniformity in an agricultural product... so much so that each package never seems to vary more than five percent in size?  Add in the fact that said growers HAVE to produce tens of thousands of such packages to reach America's produce aisles during each growing season and the mystery gets that much bigger.  How do they DO this?

Enquiring Minds™ wanna know.

The Book I Never Wrote

I was looking for a piece of Very Important Paper this past Friday and in so doing I came across this old tattered and stained page that was lurking in the voluminous Pennington archives:

Click to embiggen

Heh.  I don't remember when I wrote this... ahem... whatever-it-is... but I'm certainly glad I never wrote the book astounding, yet impressive collection of clichés.  This particular page (as in: its physical being) is prolly a transcription of a handwritten document I put together shortly after I returned from a four month TDY back in 1976 to Doi Inthanon (the tallest mountain in Thailand,  and a place I've mentioned in the pages of EIP a couple o' times), which is also quite near Chaing Mai.  Most authors write from personal experience and I believed I had sufficient "experience" with the situations, the locale, and certain potential characters described in the synopsis that I could put together a credible story.  But we were Airmen then, and young... which is also to say we were wrong about a lot o' thangs.

"Daphne DeVries."  Heh.

Veterans Day 2012

VETERANS DAY, 2012

- - - - - - -

BY THE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA

A PROCLAMATION

Whether they fought in Salerno or Samarra, Heartbreak Ridge or Helmand, Khe Sanh or the Korengal, our veterans are part of an unbroken chain of men and women who have served our country with honor and distinction. On Veterans Day, we show them our deepest thanks. Their sacrifices have helped secure more than two centuries of American progress, and their legacy affirms that no matter what confronts us or what trials we face, there is no challenge we cannot overcome, and our best days are still ahead.

This year, we marked the 200th anniversary of the War of 1812. We began to commemorate the 50th anniversary of the Vietnam War. We welcomed our veterans back home from Iraq, and we continued to wind down operations in Afghanistan. These milestones remind us that, though much has changed since Americans first took up arms to advance freedom's cause, the spirit that moved our forebears is the same spirit that has defined each generation of our service members. Our men and women in uniform have taught us about strength, duty, devotion, resolve -- cornerstones of a commitment to protect and defend that has kept our country safe for over 200 years. In war and in peace, their service has been selfless and their accomplishments have been extraordinary.

Even after our veterans take off the uniform, they never stop serving. Many apply the skills and experience they developed on the battlefield to a life of service here at home. They take on roles in their communities as doctors and police officers, engineers and entrepreneurs, mothers and fathers. As a grateful Nation, it is our task to make that transition possible -- to ensure our returning heroes can share in the opportunities they have given so much to defend. The freedoms we cherish endure because of their service and sacrifice, and our country must strive to honor our veterans by fulfilling our responsibilities to them and upholding the sacred trust we share with all who have served.

On days like this, we are called to reflect on immeasurable burdens that have been borne by so few. We pay tribute to our wounded, our missing, our fallen, and their families -- men and women who have known the true costs of conflict and deserve our deepest respect, now and forever. We also remember that our commitments to those who have served are commitments we must honor not only on Veterans Day, but every day. As we do so, let us reaffirm our promise that when our troops finish their tours of duty, they come home to an America that gives them the benefits they have earned, the care they deserve, and the fullest opportunity to keep their families strong and our country moving forward.

With respect for and in recognition of the contributions our service members have made to the cause of peace and freedom around the world, the Congress has provided (5 U.S.C. 6103(a)) that November 11 of each year shall be set aside as a legal public holiday to honor our Nation's veterans.

NOW, THEREFORE, I, BARACK OBAMA, President of the United States of America, do hereby proclaim November 11, 2012, as Veterans Day. I encourage all Americans to recognize the valor and sacrifice of our veterans through appropriate public ceremonies and private prayers. I call upon Federal, State, and local officials to display the flag of the United States and to participate in patriotic activities in their communities. I call on all Americans, including civic and fraternal organizations, places of worship, schools, and communities to support this day with commemorative expressions and programs.

IN WITNESS WHEREOF, I have hereunto set my hand this seventh day of November, in the year of our Lord two thousand twelve, and of the Independence of the United States of America the two hundred and thirty-seventh.

BARACK OBAMA

Thank you to all who served and most especially to those still serving.

♫ ♪ Out On the Road Today... ♪ ♫

... I saw a Deadhead sticker on a Cadillac...

Click to embiggen

A very dirty Cadillac... but that's what ya get with dust and a lil bit o' rain.  That said, we gotta post this after that...

A little voice inside my head said, "Don't look back. You can never look back"
I thought I knew what love was
What did I know?
Those days are gone forever
I should just let them go but-

But nuthin'.   We let 'em go and we're better for it.  Not to digress or anythang.

Cheesy Videos XXIV

It's been over a year since we posted a Cheesy Video, so dontcha think it's time for another one, Gentle Reader?  This one is about one of the Usual Subjects, which is to say wind and dust.  Herewith:



Well, there ya have it.  It'll prolly be another year before we post a Cheesy Video.  You're welcome.

Back On Yer Heads...

The WX has been SO nice for SO long I'd almost forgotten about the curse o' livin' on The High Plains o' New Mexico.  But it's back, with a vengeance:

Note the highlighted bits... and "haze."  Haze, my ass.  That's airborne DUST, and lots of it.  I wish I woulda gone out and done my shopping yesterday, like I originally planned.  But, noooo... Procrastination Я Us.

At least it's warm.

Saturday

There's been a lot o' buzz about this...



From the Tube O' You notes:

A young, free-range chicken. A dominating, ravenous chef. A naughty tale of fowl play.

If Fifty Shades of Grey left you hungry and lusting for more (more, more!), satisfy your culinary kink with Fifty Shades of Chicken, a titillating collection of tied-and-true recipes bound to make every meal a turn-on:

Dripping Thighs, Learning to Truss You, Erect Chicken, Chicken with a Lardon, Happy Ending Chicken

Heh.

Today's Happy Hour Soundtrack

It's a Lyle sorta day... we've loaded up the CD changer with nuthin' but Lyle and are enjoyin' it to the max, this bein' one such tune:

It's a busted old town
On the plains of West Texas
The drugstore's closed down
The river's run dry
The semis roll through
Just like stainless steel stallions
Goin' hard
Goin' fast
Goin' wild
Rollin' hard
Rollin' fast
Rollin' by

{....}

And me I stand here
At the last filling station
While the wind moans a dirge
To a coyote's cry
And I'm back in my car
And I'm out on the highway
Goin' hard
Goin' fast
Goin' wild 

That's me, more often than not.  (sigh)

Another One o' Those "I Never Go There" Posts...

... except for when I do.

Finally: truth in advertising.  Did I ever mention the fact I HATE tats, the existence of which would be an immediate dis-qualifier in the "Be My Lady" sweepstakes?  (We might make an exception for sumthin' small and discreet in this space.  Wimmen over the age o' 50 who think they qualify and MIGHT like to apply for the open position o' consort are encouraged to do so.)

Why Is It...

... that my electric bill...

Dear Customer,

Your 10/30/2012 statement for your Xcel Energy account is ready. You can view the entire bill at your convenience. Here is your bill summary:

Name on Account: Norman Pennington

Account Number: (you don't need to know that)

Amount Due: $36.59 (you DO need to know that!)

Due Date: (sometime soon)

This bill is not enrolled in an auto payment program and will need to be paid manually.

Thank you for using My Account and for being a valued customer.

Sincerely,

Xcel Energy Customer Care

...is about 70% of my WATER BILL, which hasn't deviated more than 50 CENTS off of 50 YANKEE DOLLARS in the last 13 months?  As a matter o' fact, my electric bill is reasonable, never even approaching $100.00, even during peak heating/air conditioning season.  The water bill, OTOH, is way the hell outta whack, especially for a guy who lives alone (even though he showers every day).

There are some thangs in life I simply do not understand, and this is one of 'em.

Plane Pr0n

From the Usual USAF Source...

Air Frame: An A-10 Thunderbolt II takes off over the Las Vegas skyline during a Green Flag-West exercise at Nellis AFB, Nev., Oct. 30, 2012. Green Flag allows airmen and soldiers to practice close air support operations before they deploy on a combat rotation overseas. (Air Force photo by SrA. Daniel Hughes) (Click on image above to reach larger version.)

There's prolly no better place to go TDY than Nellis AFB.  Wait.  I might could be wrong about that!  

(Can I get a "Heh?")

There and Back, Again

The best laid plans, and all that.  Earlier today I posted that I was off to Lubbock for a prostate ultrasound and biopsy, the latter of which I intended to refuse unless presented with a compelling case as to why I should go ahead and git'r'dun.  My urologist made his case, and quite persuasively, at that.  It seems like I was operating off an incomplete data set and when I was confronted with the whole set of numbers I opted for the biopsy.  Shorter:  55% of men in my age group with a Free PSA number of less than ten percent (scroll down for a table, if'n ya have a mind to do so)... and mine is eight percent... were found to have cancer.  So... we did it.

And it wasn't that bad.  A couple o' friends advised me of this in off-line conversations, and they were correct.  Which ISN'T to say this is sumthin' I'd want to do every day, or even once a year.  Nope, once is enough.  Once is MORE than enough, actually.

So there was this exchange along about the time the fourth of 12 slices/jabs in my nether regions were taken:

Dr. V:  You're beginning to be quite a pro at this.
Me:  I'd MUCH rather have retained my amateur status, thank ya very much. Heh.
Dr. V:  Well, Hey... you're really relaxed and you're able to laugh and joke about it, so that's good.
Me:  Being "relaxed" is entirely dependent on which side of this fence you're on at the moment, lemmee tell ya.
Dr. V:  Heh.

But yeah: lots of apprehension, not too much discomfort.  We get our results this Wednesday, when Dr. V makes one of his scheduled visits to P-Ville.

―:☺:―

In other news... El Casa Móvil De Pennington is sold.  I had to rush back from Lubbock to finalize the deal but, alas:  the frickin' DMV got in the way.  My buyer and I cooled our heels in line at the DMV today for one solid hour before we were informed by an oh-so-helpful civil servant "Oh, we aren't doing VIN inspections today.  You'll have to come back tomorrow."  Thanks, Lady... thanks a LOT.  For the uninitiated, New Mexico requires a VIN inspection by some sorta uniquely qualified individual before a title can be transferred.  Exactly what sort of qualifications or degree(s?) one needs to read a fucking number printed on a label in three or four places in any given vehicle is beyond me... but there ya go.  "We're from the gub'mint and we're here to help!"

Yeahrightsure.

I'll get my money tomorrow and we're VERY pleased about that.  Another page is turned...

My favorite pic of El Casa Móvil

Let's See Just How Much Lemonade We Can Make...

...out o' these lemons:

I used to resemble that image once upon a time, back when I lived in Beautiful La Hacienda Trailer Park.  Life really wasn't all that bad there... at least I had interesting neighbors.  As fer the 'toon... there are a whole SLEW o' similar at the Usual Source for such thangs.

―:☺:―

We're off to Lubbock again this morning for another appointment with the urologist.  On the agenda: a prostate ultrasound and biopsy, the latter which may or may not happen.  My numbers on the PSA retest came back just a smidgen above normal which isn't enough to warrant an invasive (and very uncomfortable) procedure, to my way of thinking.  I'll want a lot of justification from my doctor before I consent to that... otherwise?  No.  We'll do the "watchful waiting" thang with follow-ups every six months, which is what my GP recommended in the first place.

Today's Happy Hour Soundtrack

I'm just in for my first refill and thought I'd let all y'all in on what we're listenin' to on this fine... weather-wise (i.e., nearly 80 degrees and crystal-clear sorta day)... afternoon.  Hot Tuna:

Well mother don't you stop prayin'
Father keep right on prayin'
Don't you stop prayin' for this old world is almost done

Keep your lamps trimmed and burning
Keep your lamps trimmed and burning
Keep your lamps trimmed and burning
For this old world is almost done

Brother don't you stop prayin'
Sister keep right on prayin'
Don't you stop prayin' for this old world is almost done

Keep your lamps trimmed and burning
Keep your lamps trimmed and burning
Keep your lamps trimmed and burning
For this old world is almost done 

We're takin' a page out of Blog-Bud Dan's book, in that he's singin' and playin' the blues today.  Me, too... coz as John Lee Hooker once said... "Blues is a healer."  We shall keep our lamps trimmed and burnin'... coz it ain't the end o' the world, it only FEELS like it.

Egg-zackly Two Years Ago Today...

... we said this:

Sunday, November 07, 2010

Broadening Our Horizons XXIV

Now that a chill is in the air... it's time for a Sammy Adams Winter Lager (rated "B" by the members of Beer Advocate).  Or three.

Which brings new meaning to the term "barley-pop."   From Sammy Adams' web site:

The cinnamon, ginger, and hint of citrus from the orange peel blend with the roasty sweetness of the malts to deliver a warming, spicy flavor.

Purists will blanch.  The spices, however, aren't overpowering and it takes a sophisticated palate to taste them at all.  Still and even, we're halfway through this beer as we type and we LIKE it.  The "warming" description isn't far off the mark and being as how MY palate was destroyed by over 40 years of cigarette smoking, I think this beer is quite pleasing.  Recommended.

The cigar is one of the last of my San Lotano box-pressed maduros, which just might become a regular in the humidor at El Casa Móvil De Pennington.  I really, rilly LIKE this cigar!

That was then, this is now: 

Same cee-gar, too.  We're nothing if not consistent... even in our vices.

Posted Without Comment

We Apparently Are a Nation Comprised Primarily of Idiots

NBC and Fox News called Ohio... and the election... for Obama about 15 minutes ago.  And then, to add insult to injury, Fox News immediately treated us to shots of Idiots Going Wild, like this:

Robyn Beck / AFP - Getty Images

I think I'll start drinking now.

We Done Done the Deal

Out and back... cast my vote, paid a couple o' local bills, put a certified letter in the mail, motored out to Cannon Airplane Patch where we got our bi-monthly shearing, picked up some meds (both at the CAFB pharmacy AND the Class VI), and now we're home... preparing to kick off Happy Hour.  Who was it that sang "It's Five O'Clock Somewhere?"  (No answer required... I KNOW.)

This was the scene at my polling place this morning:

Yer typical cheesy cell-phone pic

The lines were relatively short compared to some other places I've voted.  I was in and out in about a half-hour... 20 minutes in line, ten minutes to vote; the latter because we use paper ballots here in P-Ville and I made DAMNED sure I colored within the lines and all the lil ovals were completely filled.

Beer me!

Mt. Tam Time-lapse

Occasional Reader and Good Buddy Rob sent along a link to the following:



In his e-mail he said, and I replied (in part) as below...

If I could get a job like that I'd die a happy man. Whoosh.

There were several hundred of us USAF radar types that had such a job.  From an old post:

Today’s Pic: Photographic evidence that San Francisco is indeed America’s most beautiful city. Taken from the summit of Mt. Tamalpais, October of 2000. That’s my buddy John silhouetted against the view.

Just as an aside, Mt. Tam used to be the home of the 666^th Radar Squadron (Mill Valley Air Force Station), and as such was one of the best kept secrets in the entire United States Air Force. The Officers/NCO Club had a million-dollar view of the Bay Area through huge plate-glass windows and folks in the know could get a room in the BOQ for about ten bucks a night, back in the day. Although I was never stationed at Mill Valley, I did take advantage of those “low rates” at the BOQ once or twice…

When I say "million dollar view," I mean just that.  TSMP and I stayed at Mill Valley AFS on two occasions when we were stationed at North Bend AFS, (ed: I added that link for this post) just up the coast a ways.  All it took to get a room was a phone call to the site billeting office, who would advise if there was or wasn't a vacancy for the weekend.  Cheap rent, cheap drinks, and a brilliant NCO Club with an excellent chef... what's NOT to like?

All of the above is true.  The Air Force had more than a few places you DIDN'T wanna go (this bein' one of 'em) but there were more than a few "Garden Spots," as well... Mill Valley bein' one such.

This 'n' That

Blog-Bud Jim has his initial list of "Thanksgiving Comes First" posts up at his place... and of all those mentioned, Cricket's is my personal favorite.  Cricket's writing is like that famous Rockwell painting...Freedom From Want... only in prose.  His description of his childhood Thanksgiving(s) is classic Americana.  Go read.

―:☺:―

We're oh-so-low-and-slow this morning and have no ideer why.  The time change works in our favor in that we gain an hour o' sleep and I arose at almost the usual time today, albeit an hour earlier by the clock, yet I'm havin' the hardest time gettin' off that proverbial dime.  The coffee is really good this morning, so there's that.  Then again... the coffee is ALWAYS good around here.

―:☺:―

We're resolved to get out and vote EARLY tomorrow and avoid the rush.  My definition of "early" means sometime between 1000 ~ 1100 hrs or so, but we will vote long before Happy Hour and save an hour or two for our UCR afternoon nap.  I'll need that nap, methinks, coz tomorrow night looks to be a long one.

―:☺:―

I wonder if Mitt knows Ann is e-mailing me EVERY DAMNED DAY, sometimes twice a day?    She'd "love to meet me?"  That ain't right.

―:☺:―

Finally... there's this (no post about nuthin' is complete without reference to the weather):

It's hard to believe it's November if one judges by our daytime temps.  It's NOT hard to believe once the sun goes down, though.  After Dinner Whiskey Hour has been a rather rushed affair of late due to the encroaching chill and my personal dearth of insulating fat... yesterday excepted, of course.  A patio heater... I need a patio heater.

Tonight's ADWH Soundtrack

What?  After Dinner Whiskey Hour at 1630 hrs?  Yep.  The clocks may have changed but we get hungry... and eat... according to our biological clock, which is still on daylight savings time.  We shall adjust over the course o' time but in the meantime... here's Iris DeMent:



Iris' new album is in the mail as we speak and we should take delivery on Election Day.  I'm lookin' forward to this, as the reviews have all been sterling.  I'm thinkin' this is gonna be fine, fine whiskey drinkin' music.

There's This Old Joke...

... that goes like this:

What common words, phrases and sounds actually mean, when a woman says them...

Fine : This is the word we use at the end of any argument that we feel we are right about but need to shut you up. NEVER use fine to describe how a woman looks. This will cause you to have one of those arguments.

Five minutes : This is half an hour. It is equivalent to the five minutes that your football game is going to last before you take out the trash, so it's an even trade.

Nothing : This means something and you should be on your toes. "Nothing" is usually used to describe the feeling a woman has of wanting to turn you inside out, upside down, and backwards. "Nothing" usually signifies an argument that will last "Five Minutes" and end with the word "Fine".

Go Ahead (with raised eyebrows): This is a dare. One that will result in a woman getting upset over "Nothing" and will end with the word "Fine".

Go Ahead (normal eyebrows): This means "I give up" or "do what you want because I don't care". You will get a raised eyebrow "Go ahead" in just a few minutes, followed by "Nothing" and "Fine" and she will talk to you in about "Five Minutes" when she cools off.

Loud Sigh : This is not actually a word, but is still often a verbal statement very misunderstood by men. A "Loud Sigh" means she thinks you are an idiot at that moment and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you over "Nothing".

Soft Sighs : Again, not a word, but a verbal statement. "Soft Sighs" are one of the few things that you can actually understand. She is content. Your best bet is to not move or breathe and she will stay content.

Oh : This word followed by any statement is trouble. Example; "Oh, let me get that". Or, "Oh, I talked to so and so about what you were doing last night." If she says "Oh" before a statement, RUN, do not walk, to the nearest exit. She will tell you that she is "Fine" when she is done tossing your clothes out the window, but do not expect her to talk to you for at least 2 days.

Oh (as the lead to a sentence): Usually signifies that you are caught in a lie. Do not try to lie more to get out of it, or you will get a raised eyebrows "Go ahead" followed by acts so unspeakable that we can't bring ourselves to write about them.

That's Okay : This is one of the most dangerous statements that a woman can say. "That's Okay" means that she wants to think long and hard before paying you retributions for whatever it is that you have done. "That's Okay" is often used with the word "Fine" and used in conjunction with a raised eyebrow "Go ahead". At some point in the near future when she has plotted and planned, you are going to be in some mighty big trouble.

Please Do : This is not a statement, it is an offer. A woman is giving you the chance to come up with whatever excuse or reason you have for doing whatever it is that you have done. You have a fair chance to tell the truth, so be careful and you shouldn't get a "That's Okay".

Thanks : A woman is thanking you. Do not faint; just say you're welcome.

Thanks a lot : This is much different from "Thanks". A woman will say, "Thanks a lot" when she is really ticked off at you. It signifies that you have hurt her in some callous way, and will be followed by the "Loud Sigh". Be careful not to ask what is wrong after the "Loud Sigh", as she will only tell you "Nothing".

I hope this clears up any misunderstandings.

So, in light of THAT, there's this lil exchange that took place a couple o' nights ago:

She: Just being who I am, however, I may not communicate so freely at another time.  I don't have the desire or the energy to argue with you. This may be the best time.

Me:  The best time for WHAT?  What is it you want?  What do you want me to say?

 

She:  Nothing.

And that was the end of about an hour's worth o' back and forth.  Some poor sonuvabitch prolly had a rough night after that exchange.  At least I HOPE so, as the poor SOB I have in mind deserves everythang he gets in that space.

Oh, NOES!

This:

Shit.  Fuck.  Piss.  And other such exclamations.  Dammit!

Saturday

I was lookin' for love in all the wrong places... specifically in the US edition of The Guardian, which hasn't updated its Viral Vid list since 10/05.  But the UK edition has been updating all along, so today I feel like a perfect putz, albeit a putz with goodies for you, Gentle Reader.  You may find this amusing:



Me?  I've only seen ONE James Bond in a movie and that would be Sean Connery.  Big-ass 'splosions and special effects requiring the suspension of disbelief jes ain't my thang and that's the state of the state of the current Bond franchise.  Give me "From Russia with Love" or give me nuthin' at all.  Well, you could give me one of Ian Fleming's books.  I'd take that.

That said, there's this: when will the madness end?

4 MIT Gangnam Style
Students and staff nail it
5 Hurricane Sandy Gangnam Style Compilation
Crazy weather, crazy people

I REFUSE!

He's Right Again

He bein' Michael Ramirez...

Hugh Hewitt had good interviews at his place yesterday with Donald Rumsfeld and Mark Steyn on the subject of Benghazi and Obama's stonewalling... in case ya might have missed 'em.

Stoopid Phone Tricks, Or... GOML, In Three Flavors

I spent well over two... count 'em, TWO... hours on the phone yesterday with a couple of gub'mint entities in an effort to resolve a couple o' issues.  We'll not give away the farm here, but I was gratified at the end of the ordeal in the knowledge that BOTH issues were resolved in my favor.

I shoulda chose option 3

First of all... we spent 57 minutes on the phone with the Defense Accounting and Finance Service (DFAS) tryin' to get an answer to a simple question, to wit: "Have you received, and have you acted upon, my request to (a) change my state of residence and (b) begin withholding New Mexico state taxes?"  I sorta knew the answer to (b) because a quick call to my credit union indicated DFAS had NOT withheld state taxes this month, given the amount deposited in my account was the same this month as last.  So... after spending 54 minutes on hold ("Your wait may be longer than 15 minutes," advised the pre-recorded message.  No shit, Sherlock.) I got in touch with a customer service rep that advised me "Yes, we received your letter of September 26th and state tax withholding will begin with your December check."  Well, thank ya, Ma'am... and have a nice day.  

(Side note:  For those of you who might have reason to deal with DFAS:  DON'T EVEN start with me about their web site.  Just fuckin' DON'T.  There isn't another entity in the entire Free World with as fucked up a web presence as the Federal Gub'mint.  That goes for both TriCare and DFAS.  I REFUSE to play their games.)

So then it was on to the IRS, said conversation bein' of necessity because I received a notice from those friendly folks last week that there MIGHT could be a problem with my 2011 return (and we WON'T go into detail here).  We'll cut to the chase: I was on the phone for exactly one hour and 47 minutes (dontcha love the "elapsed time" counter on our phones?), of which about 17 minutes was spent in productive conversation and a hour and a half spent on hold.  I shit thee not: a fucking HOUR AND A HALF... 90 MINUTES... on hold.

We'll cut to the chase yet again and reveal the issue was resolved in my favor after enduring a barrage of clearly scripted questions concerning the issue at hand ("answer yes or no to the following, please," said she), followed by yet another lengthy time on hold for Gawd-Only-Knows what reason, followed by a "Do you want me to transfer you to our accounting department to update your file?"  Why, yes... yes I most certainly DO.  And then we endured another half hour on hold...

But, Hey!  It feels good to win one, once in a while... especially when ya win one with the IRS.  I burned twice as much incense during our devotions last evening as a small offering to The Deity At Hand.  That was the least I could do.

Further on Stoopid Phone Tricks:  Some VERY unfortunate woman from the Romney campaign had a horrible experience with me when I was about 45 minutes into my IRS hold time.  My phone rings and I answer it (while on hold with the IRS).  The nice woman on the phone launches into a spiel and I cut her off right at the knees with "If you're from the Romney campaign TAKE ME OFF OF YOUR GOTDAMNED PHONE LIST... THIS IS MY CELL PHONE!"  "Well, Ohhhh-Kaayyy" she responds, sweetly... "Have a NICE day."  Bad timing on her part, in the first case.  A reasonable reaction on MY part, in the second case, as this was about the sixth such call I've received in the past 48 hours.  I was polite and genteel in the first five instances, explaining "you're calling me on my cell phone and I do NOT appreciate it," further requesting the caller take action to get my number expunged from their list.  The lady today MIGHT have received my message, or so one hopes.

Thanksgiving Comes FIRST

We here at EIP join Sisyphus every year in his rock-rolling exercise, mainly coz (a) we believe and (b) because we ARE curmudgeonly in our old age.  So herewith the UCR post in this space:

The Annual Tilting At Windmills Post

We've run this post every year for three four years, mainly because it's sumthin' we REALLY DO believe in:  Thanksgiving comes first.  Without further ado...

Wednesday, October 27, 2010

No Cause Is Truly Lost

It's that time o' year.  The time when we ring up Mr. Panza and beseech him to help us in our annual tilt against the windmills of commercialism.  Well, it's more like me being ol' Sancho to Jim's Don Q (ed: link updated for 2011 2012).  But... lost or not... I'm all FOR what Jim is selling. Here's what I said last year and the year before: 

Blog-Bud Jim, aka Suldog, has launched his second annual “Thanksgiving Comes First!” campaign… and has asked those of us who agree with him… and who are the proprietors of blogs… to join the campaign. Well, I can’t think of anyone who actually approves of seeing Christmas sales, Christmas advertising, Christmas-this, or Christmas-that, before Thanksgiving has come and gone. NO ONE… period, end of report, full-stop (ed:  It has since come to my attention that I'm wrong here.  There IS one person I'm aware of, and only ONE.). I’m quite sure even the employees and management of those businesses who launch Christmas before Thanksgiving is even here have a distaste for the project at hand. I mean… how could you NOT?

So. I’m on board with this. I hope you are, too. Jim has great narrative reasons and not a few rants on the subject at the link above and here, as well. Do go read.

The links in the quoted bits above are older.  Jim has updated his original post and added thoughts at my link in the first graf.  Won't you help us?

As noted in my parenthetical comment in the first graf of my repost, Jim has updated his post for 2011.  And there is progress in this space... companies DO respond when their customers tell them things.  See?

 

 

I stole that from Jim, of course.  Thank you, Nordstrom's!  Now if we could just get EVERY retailer to go along...

Most o' Jim's readers join him in this effort... won't YOU join, too?