Tuesday, January 14, 2014


Found this in my in-box this morning...

That's just the tip o' the iceberg, given there's 13 different bears and a nearly uncountable number of accessories.  I suppose I should steel myself... Valentine's Day is exactly a month away and we'll be bombarded with dumb-ass ads for dumb-ass products from now until then.  You long-time Gentle Readers know I take issue with this crap, like this:

Wednesday, February 09, 2011

Get Off My Lawn! (Valentine's Day Edition)

I only have to put up with this shit for another five days or so:

and this crap, too...

We're economical with our words and don't waste time reinventing the wheel, so in that spirit here's what we've said the last few years on this subject:
I’m glad this “special day” is here and will be gone with the sunset this evening. Why? So I won’t be exposed to Creepy Valentines Day advertisements on my teevee every 17 minutes. From these guys.  You know, the people who tell ya there’s “…only one gift guaranteed to get women to take their clothes off…” with “all that spa stuff that women just love,” the bottom-line being “she’ll think you spent weeks planning it.” Yeah. Right. To say these ads insult male intelligence is only scratching the surface. And were I a woman receiving a V-Day pajamagram, I’d seriously RE-consider the quality of my relationship. That goes for Vermont Teddy Bears, as well… perhaps double. I’ve read both businesses are owned by the same company. Which may or may not be true, but the ads for both products look very similar, so I tend to believe what I hear. About which…

Yet another business to add to my list of places to visit when I begin my post-retirement career as a midnite fire-bomber. 

That was YrHmblScrb, ranting on St. Valentine’s Day last year (ed: 2007). The supremely irritating ads for VTBs and PajamaGrams began last Monday evening, as best as I can determine, and tend to run in various late night slots. FNC’s “Red Eye” seems overrun with the ads, just to cite one example, which presents me with yet another case where my mute button gets the ultimate work-out. The PajamaGram ads are quite tolerable with the sound turned off, though. Nice eye-candy. The VTB ads? Not so much…
At least the PajamaGram folks came up with something new this year: the incredibly erotic "hoodie-footie."  There's nothing like covering up all the fun bits... from head to toe... with pink fleece to pique a man's interest, eh?  A hoodie-footie would be very useful in the sort of weather we've been having of late, but it is NOT suitable boudoir wear.

Ah, well.  Valentine's Day was sorta fun in the third grade, unless you happened to be one of those kids who didn't get any Valentines or didn't get enough tacky cards to make the "popular" cut.  Ya hadda feel bad for those kids, but we digress.  I submit we should send V-Day back to school and KEEP it there.  A pox on Hallmark Holidays.  AND their associated ads.
BIG-ass sigh.


  1. '...the incredibly erotic "hoodie-footie"...'
    Gets funnier every time I repeat it...Good one, Buck.

  2. A pox, indeed. One of the reasons I married MY WIFE is because she knows I don't give Valentine's Day gifts and she's OK with that. And I met her at a Valentine's Day dance! Such women are rare jewels and I'm blessed beyond measure.


Just be polite... that's all I ask.