Monday, March 05, 2012

Critique Wanted

So.  I've been mulling over some comments I received in the recent past and am thinkin' o' puttin' this lil blurb up in the Craig's List personals, for what should be obvious reasons.  I haven't pulled the trigger yet and don't really know if I will.  I'm soliciting input, if you'd be so kind.  Here it is, first draft...
 (title) Slightly Damaged, Eminently Serviceable (/title)
I think I'm looking for a woman but I'm not entirely sure.  To begin with... I've been out of a relationship for five years now; the last time I dipped my toe in those waters was unsatisfactory, at best.  To further elaborate, I've been divorced from my wife of 23 years for 14 years... she left me, I didn't leave her (she has her story, I have mine).  That lil catastrophe was the defining event of the last decade of my life.  Or two.  Yes, I have baggage... but I'm open to having my mind made right in this space.  On the other hand, life is pretty good, as far as that goes.  We ARE conflicted.
So.  Here we are.  I'll keep this brief and give ya a thumbnail sketch.  If you like what you see, drop me a line, give me some feedback and/or the particulars of what YOU'RE looking for, and let's talk.  If ya don't like what ya see, well... thanks for reading.
The basics, to start.  I'm nearly 67 (my birthday is later this month).  I'm a retired USAF Master Sergeant (22 years) and retired from a second career in the Information Technology bid'niz.  I'm solvent, which is to say I don't owe anyone anything, except for recurring monthly expenses.  I've been in Portales since 2002, when I arrived for a six month visit with my oldest son, who was stationed at Cannon AFB at the time.  He's long since gone on to bigger and better things; I'm still here.  I like Portales, the place fits my sensibilities and pace of life.
I'm in moderately good health, which is to say I'm drug and disease-free, drink socially (I'm not a drunk), and smoke one cigar a day, sometimes two (I quit cigarettes five years ago).  I stand 5' 8", weigh 125 pounds, have most o' my (red-blond/gray) hair and all my teeth.  I have chronic obstructive pulmonary disease (COPD), which is in a managed condition but limits stuff I can do.  Other than that, I'm fine from both physical and mental standpoints.
I'm well-traveled, having lived in El-Eh (sorta grew up there), San Francisco (two years prior to arriving in P-Ville), Oklahoma City (two years), Detroit (ten years), Washington DC (two years), Rochester NY (four years), three years in Oregon (coastal and inland), North Dakota (one year, three days, eight hours and ten minutes), Mississippi (a couple o' years, off and on), London (nearly five years), Paris (three years), Tokyo (three years), and more than a few points in between.  I've been around the block and my outlook on life kinda-sorta reflects that.
Stuff I like to do:  Read, but mostly on the internet, i.e., the Wall Street Journal, various other periodicals, and blogs.  I'm a passionate hockey fan; I'm also very passionate about music in all its forms.  I'm not a movie kinda guy but I will watch something interesting.  I'm not much of a teevee guy, either.  I drive a pristine Mazda Miata and love to buzz around with the top down on nice days, and that includes taking day trips (or longer) to just about anywhere.
I keep a blog, Exile in Portales, to which I post daily.  The blog is pretty much the chronicle of my life and my archives go back six and a half years.  There is NO better way to find out more about me, if you wanna. 
What AM I looking for?  I really don't know.  Companionship.  A friend.  Someone to share stuff with.  Sex, as far as that goes, and it might not go all THAT far, given physical constraints.
So.  Interested?  Drop me a line.  I'm in an open state of mind.
Too much?  Too little?  Tone?  Content?  A massive case of The Dumb-Ass, personified?  Enquiring Minds™ wanna know...

28 comments:

  1. Dunno how I ever ended up married, because my interactions with the Fairer Sex were always awkward, stupid, or awkward. Hence, I don't have much to offer critique-wise.

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    1. Dunno how I ever ended up married...

      I've had the same thoughts, Inno, but it's because I'm such a skinny lil guy who used to wear thick glasses. But I suppose there's someone for everyone (or so the songwriters tell us) and I managed to find a couple o' those "someones." Amazing, ain't it?

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  2. Having never cruised "The List," I'm not sure what seekers expect. But, if an honest relationship is what you're (maybe) looking for, I'd say it's just about right. Anybody really interested (with good sense) will hit the blog, and get to know you better.

    125 pounds. Really.

    I'm giving you a thumbs up for mentioning in the opening line that you are looking for a "woman." What with things being as they are, specifying gender up front is a good idea.

    Keep us in the loop.

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    1. As far as CL goes... I read ALL of the "M4W" Portales ads last evening jes to check out the competition, and it's LAME. That gives me the feeling I could be a big fish in a tiny puddle, at least as far as the writing of ads goes.

      Yes, 125 pounds. Really. I thought about lying and sayin' I'm 135. Really.

      You WILL be looped.

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  3. Forgot to subscribe.

    Dangit!

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  4. I think this is a good idea and I love that you are honest. I know nothing about Craig's list other than used furniture - do they really do people? I'd try another dating site. I know that it did not work well for you the first time, but it could work better this time - maybe a different site - sometimes there are local sites. I would save the COPD and teeth explanation for when I met someone face to face - a little TMI. And as a woman, I don't care to hear about your first wife - maybe that you have been divorced for 14 years - you can talk about that later, too. Just my thoughts.

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    1. That's good feedback, Lou. I'll rework the first paragraph, shorten it up, and omit the COPD thang.

      Craig's List does have personals, and it's local... in the sense there's a "Clovis-Portales" CL. ABQ, too.

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  5. From what I know of you, Buck, it captures your personality well. The photo is good. I don't think it's too much. Personally, I would write at about the same length, and not be interested in anyone so shallow that she couldn't take the time to read it.

    I guess your best critiques would be from your female readers, though. I'll wish you the best of luck, because I like you and I think you deserve someone truly nice.

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    1. Thanks, Jim. And you're right about the wimmen. They KNOW.

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  6. I agree with Lou. There are some things that are better shared when you discover that you have met someone you actually...like.

    That said, it's hard to tell if you are being serious or not. I say - go for it, put it out there. It's refreshingly honest and that will likely tickle the people you WANT to tickle (ahem) and offend the people you wouldn't want to stand in line near.

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    1. The reason it's hard to tell if I'm serious or not is because I don't KNOW if I'm serious, or not. Hell, I may not even post this on CL. There's one (or mebbe two) thangs I really love about my life at the moment: there's ZERO drama and no complications. A woman would change that. No offense, mind you, I just know that to be true.

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  7. It's a good start. If you are going to catch a fish, you gotta put bait on the hook! There's bound to be someone out there looking as well. I agree with Bag Blog, I think I would leave those revelations out until later. Go for it, and good luck.

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    1. There are lotsa wimmen looking, Ed... believe me. I may be five years removed from the market but I don't think it's changed all THAT much.

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  8. Buck, I'm late here, so I know you've apparently already decided against the ad. But I think your personal ad, CV (heh), or whatever it's called is a most admirable and straightforward document. That being said, I think what Bag said and Ed supported also makes a lot of sense. You've gotta get to the face to face meeting, that's what's most important. That first couple of seconds will probably tell you all you (and her) need to know 'bout each other. And that ain't me talking like some kinda expert, which I'm not by any stretch of the imagination. What I said there is the latest psych stuff right out of the pages of Psyc Today magazine which I just read. So, if you change your mind, I'm with Suldog, you're a good guy who deserves somebody nice.

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    1. I used to subscribe to "Psych Today," believe it or don't!

      I appreciate the rest o' what you said, as well, and I thank you for it. That said, I have a profound and perhaps unreasonable fear of "complications."

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  9. Buck, even though I am an honest man, I would DEFINITELY lie about my weight. Go with the 136 deal, and let 'em figure it out later.

    From your comment...there's ZERO drama and no complications. A woman would change that. No truer words, my friend.

    However, I DO know that many wimmens do NOT bring drama in to a relationship. Really! Most of those queens die off early. But "complications,"...always.

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    1. How about "height and weight proportionate?" Still a lie, I know, but LESS of one.

      I fear drama, Andy... but I think I fear "complications" more.

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  10. "Unreasonable???"

    When it comes to complications, there is no such thing.

    Just my dos centavos.

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    1. You lost me with that one. Where does "unreasonable" come in?

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  11. In your comment...

    I appreciate the rest o' what you said, as well, and I thank you for it. That said, I have a profound and perhaps unreasonable fear of "complications."

    No such thing as "unreasonable" when it comes to that.

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    1. Ah. Goddit. Mebbe you should use the "reply" function in comments... that's why I went this way. Makes keepin' track MUCH easier, yanno? ;-)

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  12. Thanks for the suggestion.

    I might just do that.

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  13. Not yet.

    I'm still studying on it.

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  14. I've been out of the blogosphere for a while; looks like I stopped by EIP just in time.

    Buck, you are too good to put yourself on Craigslist like a piece of used furniture or a spare auto part. I'm glad you decided against it.

    Is there a nice helpful motherly lady at your dentist or doctor's office in whom you could confide; someone who could spread the word through the local wimmen's network?

    It's almost Spring. I'm hoping there's a lovely lady out there for you who's feeling the friskiness of Spring as you are.

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    1. Heh. At least used furniture or spare auto parts have SOME utility left in 'em. ;-)

      Thanks for the thoughts, though, Red. You're so very kind to me!

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  15. Use a traditional online dating site. C L has a not so great rep for less than optimal meeting opportunities. Advantage to traditional dating site is that most people are literally on the same page and not looking for buying/selling whatever.

    My tuppence.

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    1. Appreciate that, Darryl. But I've been down that path before and it wasn't... ummm... gratifying. In some ways it was, of course, but not in the LARGER sense.

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Just be polite... that's all I ask.