Friday, April 22, 2011

Deviating From Our Singleminded Focus On Hockey...

... to post a few minor bitches and complaints.

First:  My new reading glasses are digging a hole in the bridge of my nose and it hurts.  It seems like I'm incapable of tweaking frames to fit painlessly and I don't know why this is.  My optometrist manages to fit my new frames perfectly the first time, every time.  There ain't no optometrist at the reading glasses display in Walgreen's, though.

Second:  It's been nearly a month since I told ya my wash'n'fold service folded (heh). I still haven't mustered what it takes to get my Old Ass down to the laundromat and I'm running out of clean clothes, very rapidly.  To further complicate matters I'm under certain restrictions concerning how much weight I can lift for a couple o' weeks following Eye Surgery, Round Two... no more than ten pounds... and I have about 30 pounds of dirty laundry.  I may be reduced to goin' nekkid for a while.  I apologize for planting that image in yer brain, Gentle Reader.

Third:  THE WIND!  Aiiieee.  Let me up, I've had ENOUGH!

Fourth:  I was saving the best worst for last.  This bitch:

"Which bitch is that, Buck?"  The bitch that does the voice-over in the video.  She's EVERYWHERE these days and has THE most annoying voice imaginable.  I just KNOW she's gonna be the soundtrack in my personal hell if the major religions are right and I'm wrong about the existence of The Hot Place.  OTOH, I may be doomed to come back as one of her kids if the tenets of my religion pan out.  "Fingernails on a chalkboard" ain't half the analogy I'm lookin' for... let's just say this woman's voice makes Sarah Palin sound like Sarah McLachlan.  That's sayin' a LOT, Gentle Reader. 


  1. OMG! She sounds perky to the fifth power! And that commercial is entirely toooooo long. And my gradnkids would consider it a challenge to figure out how to spill stuff from that contraption. All in all, that's one big marketing failure.

    You haven't been sweating much lately -- you can "re-cycle" your duds for a little while longer.

  2. Some of the vids following this one are pretty good tear-downs of the Gyro Bowl!

  3. That's a voice that's tough to take. Wow.

  4. Moogie: Perky? Is the raising pitch of at least an octave at the end of EVERY sentence "perky?" It's her unusual speech rhythms and intonations that sends me over the cliff. She does a LOT of commercials these days and causes my mute-button to get a serious work out...

    The follow-on vids were good, gotta admit!

    Andy: You're in the runnin' for "understatement of the day."

  5. Sorry I don't live closer. I am an OCD clothing washer. I would do your laundry for you pronto. It's a sickness with me, but not a bad sickness. ;-)

  6. Ah, you bring to mind the long-passed virtues of married life, Red. There was a time when we didn't worry our-self with trivialities like laundry. Life's has TRULY been hell since the maid quit... ;-)

  7. So you haven't seen Kate Capshaw in Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom yet. Interesting.

  8. Sorry about your nose. I feel your pain.
    You could follow the Jack Reacher method. He only has the clothes on his back and replaces them as they get dirty.
    Wind makes people nuts.
    That shrill voice makes perky sound whiny. You're right, she makes Sarah Palin sound like Lauren Bacall when she was younger.

  9. I like that Gyro-bowl dealie. I wonder if it'll hold your JD & Coke without spilling, no matter how sloshed you get.

    Not that I'd know about that, but I'm just curious.

    As far as the "bitching" goes...well, what's the point of having a blog if not to bitch occasionally...or regularly even?

    I mean, a blog without bitching is like...well...CRUD!!!!! I forgot what I was gonna say, but it was REAL funny. Trust me. It had something to do with Sarah Palin, and orange juice, or something...

  10. Ouch! I could only put up with the first 30 seconds of that. You definitely have a whole lot more patience than I do guys.

  11. Morgan: You KNOW I don't do movies...

    IT: I like the way you think about clothes. Thanks for the reading suggestion, too. I've never read any of Grant's novels and might give one a shot the next time out...

    well, what's the point of having a blog if not to bitch occasionally... or regularly even?

    Perfect. But ya gotta be careful in this space, no?

    Deb: No, I DON'T have more patience. You should see how fast I am on the remote when this harpy comes on my teevee.

  12. I guess you will have to make several trips into the laundromat.

  13. I'm still workin' on alternatives, Lou.

  14. Imagine a life without that voice pushing that crap! Imagine the money saved from not subscribing to TV!


Just be polite... that's all I ask.