Sunday, November 25, 2007

You're Joking...Right?

A friend forwards the following:

The madam opened the brothel door to see a rather dignified, well-dressed good-looking man in his 50s or maybe early 60s. "May I help you?" she asked. "I want to see Valerie," the man replied. "Sir, Valerie is one of our most expensive ladies. Perhaps you would prefer someone else." said the madam. "No. I must see Valerie." was the man's reply. Just then, Valerie appeared and announced to the man that she charged $1,000 a visit. Without hesitation, the man pulled out ten one hundred dollar bills, gave them to Valerie, and they went upstairs. After an hour, the man calmly left.

The next night, the same man appeared again, demanding to see Valerie. Valerie explained that none had ever come back two nights in a row—too expensive—and there were no discounts. The price was still $1,000. Again the man pulled out the money, gave it to Valerie and they went upstairs. After an hour, he left.

The following night the man was there again. Everyone was astounded that he had come for the third consecutive night but he paid Valerie and they went upstairs. After their session, Valerie questioned the man. "No one has ever been with me three nights in a row. Where are you from?" she asked. The man replied "Arkansas." "Really?" she said. "I have family in Arkansas." "I know," the man said. "Your father died and I am your sister's attorney. She asked me to give you your $3,000 inheritance."

The moral of the story is that THREE things in life are certain:

1. Death
2. Taxes
3. Getting screwed by a lawyer.

S’true, innit?

And while we’re on about jokes…one of the more blog-worthy things I passed up this past week was Barack Obama’s admission that he got high as a teen-ager, while speaking to a group of teens at some (ahem) high school in New Hampshire. Which, to begin with, isn’t really news at all since he wrote about his teen drug use in one of his books. And, when you think about it, his admitted drug use makes Senator Obama pretty much an average sort of kid, given that (a) he was 18 in 1979 and (b) 51% of high school seniors in that particular year supposedly smoked pot (the percent-of-use stats have declined markedly since then). But Senator Obama’s admission isn’t the joke, it’s the reactions to his admission that provoke MY laughter. I’m not alone in this regard, either:

Mitt Romney waded in on BO’s former teen weed burning divulgence and condemned it, saying that Obama’s confession sent a bad message to young people, namely that you can “get high and become president.”

First of all Mitt, you gotta relax, man… Obama, like you, is not going to become president, so chill, okay? In addition, as a good religious man you should applaud his honesty in owning his previously bad record, right? I mean c’mon, Mr. Romney . . . at least he’s up front about it. He didn’t flip flop on what he did in the past or try to explain away why he did what he did to ingratiate himself to a gullible voting block in a sad and desperate attempt to become president.

Another conservative said this week that Barack coming forward with the admission that he toked the ganja was not only unwise but was also a bad example for children. Telling the truth has now become a bad example? I believe that was Larry Craig who said that. I could be wrong.

The absolute cake taker freaking out over Barack’s breasting of his dirty deeds was a 350lb chubby Christian who was all up in arms regarding Obama’s former relationship with the cannabis. He too said that such an admission left a poor pattern for young people. I was thinking, yeah? Well, so does being morbidly obese, chunky butt. Hey, Jabba… being a bloated, self righteous crank with a totemic view of vice is also a bad example for the children, so dial down and take care of your own house, Jenny Craig.

That’s from a column by Doug Giles at Mr. Giles goes on to say that he, as a conservative, wouldn’t vote for Senator Obama in the first place…but Obama’s admission about pot-smoking is both refreshing (as opposed to the infamous “I didn’t inhale. Yeah, right.) and long overdue from our candidates.

It’s good to see I’m not alone in this regard. More support for my particular point of view can be found in this Houston Chronicle editorial, published yesterday. I’ll stop here…except to wonder, yet again, is Obama still smoking? (the comments to this thread are hilarious…)

This is kinda-sorta related to the rhetorical question I posed yesterday (“Are we really that stupid?”):

November 25, 2007 -- IT'S hard for Hollywood pacifists like Brian De Palma to capture the hearts and minds of America if Americans won't see their movies. While the public is staying away in droves from “Rendition," “Lions for Lambs" and “In the Valley of Elah," audiences are really avoiding “Redacted," De Palma's picture about US soldiers who rape a 14-year-old Iraqi girl, then kill her and her family.


“Redacted" - which “could be the worst movie I've ever seen," said critic Michael Medved - took in just $25,628 in its opening weekend in 15 theaters, which means roughly 3,000 people saw it in the entire country. “This, despite an A-list director, a huge wave of publicity, high praise in the Times, The New Yorker, left-leaning sites like Salon, etc.

This lil blurb appeared in the right-leaning NY Post, so its veracity is questionable if you're a member of the tin-foil hat brigade. But for the non-paranoid among us: good news. We’re apparently not that stupid. Better news would be Brian De Palma deciding he’s had enough of Amerikkka and announcing he’s going to emigrate to the south of France where his world-view would be much more acceptable (or not. I keep forgetting: Sarkozy.) Chances of that? Hah.

Some people are really pissed about De Palma’s hit piece, though. Including Congressman Duncan Hunter, who sent a “scathing letter” to the MPAA:

The ranking Republican on the House Armed Services Committee sent a letter to the chairman of the Motion Picture Association of America yesterday calling the new Iraq war film "Redacted" shameful in its view of U.S. soldiers.

Rep. Duncan Hunter, California Republican, sent a scathing letter regarding Brian De Palma's new film to MPAA Chairman Dan Glickman asking that he not forget that there are heroes who have sacrificed their lives for the United States and Iraqi people.

"Unfortunately, Brian De Palma's new movie 'Redacted,' which opened in several theaters this week, portrays American service personnel in Iraq as uncontrollable misfits and criminals," Mr. Hunter stated in his letter to Mr. Glickman. "While incidents of criminal behavior by members of our military should never be ignored, the isolated incident on which this film is based negatively portrays American service personnel and misrepresents their collective efforts in Iraq."

Mr. Glickman, a former Democratic congressman and agriculture secretary, could not be reached for comment.

Of course not. And even if Mr. Glickman were available, we’d likely get some pap about the First Amendment, “isn’t this a great country where dissent is tolerated,” and all that happy horseshit. It’s a good thing I’m not king…because there’d be a whole bunch of deportations…or “exiles,” if you prefer… after a fair trial for treason, of course. Coz if De Palma’s merde isn’t “aid and comfort” to our enemies I don’t know what IS.

(h/t to Flopping Aces for the WaTimes link)

Today’s Pic: Keeping with yesterday’s theme…today’s pic isn’t a pic at all, but a link to another “It Could Be Worse” pic I put up not quite a year ago. I simply get all thankful when I go back into the archives and look at these photos. I saw enough of this frozen white stuff to last me a lifetime…and then some… whilst living in Upstate NY.

Never again.


  1. Great joke!!!

    Well, what happened to our snow? Did I sleep thru it or something?

    What is up with that comment above?

    I guess I will be rooting for Tennessee, but wish it were UGA. Love my dawgs. LOL!

  2. Buck, did anyone ever tell you that you're beautiful when you rant?

    I also appreciate a politician who just fesses up and says "Yeah, I did ... so?" Why do we expect our politicians to be more saintly than we were. I just want them to be honest about it like regular guys would.

    We just got a few inches of the white stuff, too!

  3. I could care less if this half white guy who claims to be black smoked the weed years ago....most of us did.

    Bottom line.....his anti-American "We Should Blame America First" politics should be reason enough to vote against the guy....regardless of whether he is black, white, muslim, or just another liberal idiot.

  4. I love the joke especially since I have a lawyer brother.

    Personally, I don't think BO will be president this time around, but I have been wrong before. It is not important that he fessed up on his drug experiences, but it is important how he related that experience to the young people today. Sure, kids will be kids and we all did stupid things back then, but hopefully my kids will learn from my mistakes - did BO make that message or was it more like "Yes, you can do drugs, break the law, and be a presidential hopeful!"

  5. Jenny: Comment? What comment? :-)

    And about that non-snow...well, ya know how weathermen are...

    Lin sez: Buck, did anyone ever tell you that you're beautiful when you rant?

    ::blush:: Uh, no...not that I can recall, but thank you, anyway! The Second Mrs. Pennington had a "small problem" with my rants, from time to time...but no more. And, expecting politicians to be honest! What a concept!

    Lou: The video clip I saw of Obama at that school was along the lines of "what I did was stupid." I don't think he'll get the nomination, either, but I've been wrong about stuff before. But he's made a lot of other mistakes, stuff that should cost him the nomination.

    Me, I'm just trying to get my "mind right" about President Clinton, Part Deux. Aiiieee!

  6. Hi Buck. Great rant! As a political junkie, I LOVE IT when people get passionate about politics. I agree with you on everything in your post, including the Barack Obama/pot smoking "confession". Good grief, the guy was being honest...isn't that something we want more of in politics? As far as supporting him for president.....uhhhhh, NO. He is not ready for prime time and I doubt I agree with any his political views. AT ALL.
    As far as wrapping my brain around another Clinton in the White House, that is IMPOSSIBLE for me.
    Anyway, keep the rants going!!!!

  7. Towanda sez: He is not ready for prime time and I doubt I agree with any his political views.

    Ain't that the truth! The man is obviously intelligent; his resume speaks to that fact. But his resume is also way short on experience, which (IMHO) is the reason for some/most of his hare-brained ideas. Not yet, Barak. If ever.


Just be polite... that's all I ask.