An occasional correspondent sends this along:
Siamese twins walk into a bar in Canada and park themselves on a bar stool.
One of them says to the bartender, "Don't mind us; we're joined at the hip. I'm John, he's Jim. Two Molson Canadian beers, draft please."
The bartender, feeling slightly awkward, tries to make polite conversation while pouring the beers. "Been on holiday yet, lads?"
"Off to England next month," says John. "We go to England every year, rent a car and drive for miles. Don't we, Jim?" Jim agrees.
"Ah, England!" says the bartender. "Wonderful country... the history, the beer, the culture..."
"Nah, we don't like that British stuff," says John. "Hamburgers and Molson's beer, that's us, eh Jim? And we can't stand the English - they're so aloof and stingy."
"So why keep going to England?" asks the bartender.
"It's the only chance Jim gets to drive."
Heh. Well, that's not entirely true. Witness:
I'll add that driving a LHD car in a RHD world is a major PITA, especially if you're driving alone. I'm lucky to have survived three years of driving that way while in Ol' Blighty... it's a wonder the right side of my car wasn't taken off on any number of B-roads as I edged out into the right lane to see if it was clear to pass a slow-moving lorry or bus. That said, at least I wasn't driving a full-sized American car like some of my friends. "Yank Tanks" and smaller British roads weren't exactly suited to one another.
St Croix, U.S. Virgin Islands. Despite never being a British Colony, (Danish) they drive on the left because they can.
ReplyDeleteDriving on the left with left drive cars enables locals to stop and chat with their walking friends. The speed limit is about 25 for the island excepting the very short expressway.
Yup, I was in the same boat with the LHD car in the UK. I was actually driving a Frogmobile so the size wasn't a problem. It took me awhile to learn how to back off and run like hell to pass the lorries and busses. The thing I hated was the taxes each year on vehicles and those damn safety inspections that were near impossible to pass unless you provided some sort of liquid American made incentive! The loved Jack!
ReplyDeleteIt took me the whole month we were in Scotland just to be able to cross the street without getting run over. Totally dyslexic!
ReplyDeleteI never spent quite enough time in LHD countries to get used to it. It's a miracle I wasn't squashed -- I did appreciate the warnings painted on the streets at busy intersections to look BOTH ways. We have a sinmilar situation here, having to check behind us before turning left to avoid being smacked by overtaking streetcars.
ReplyDeleteDarryl: Another one of those blue dots in the oceans, eh?
ReplyDeleteDale: I used to get my MoT sticker from a mate of one of my Brit friends, and you're right: a bottle of JD Black Label and everything was cool.
Lou: Yeah... Like Moogie sez, they have these messages printed on the street crossings in London tellin' ya which way to look. Not so much in the other cities, tho!
Moogie: I think N'Awlins street cars are just cool. They were also one of the few things I loved about SFO, too. And the cable cars, of course.
My Dad was a fearless driver, and a good one. On the trips we made to England years ago, he drove. No mishaps to report. He drove WELL. But, being a driver myself, and sitting on the left side of the front seat... That was just bizarre. You have no idea how many times I hit the imaginary brake the first couple of days.
ReplyDeleteSt. Thomas, USVI - drive like Brits using American cars.
ReplyDeleteConsidering these islands are just volcanoes with paved cowpaths, driving downhill is always an interesting experience.
Oh and on the general subject of driving on the left ...
ReplyDeleteBermuda.
Moped.
Roundabout.
Speaking of roundabouts, Kris... a sent the following in an off-line response to Jim, above:
ReplyDeleteMy good buddy (and boss) refused to drive when we went on bid'niz trips to England, insisting that I take care of that chore. Which didn't bother me one bit, coz (a) I love to drive and (b) I love to drive where people motor exuberantly... and the Brits do that. We rented RHD cars, of course, and the rentals came with standard transmissions, much to the Limeys' credit. The cars were quite sporty, too... no stodgy under-powered saloons for us! But I digress. The first time I went balls-to-the-wall into a roundabout (safely but quickly) my bud nearly stomped a hole in the floorboard hitting his brakes. I just grinned at him and said "mine work better than yours." I don't think he relaxed for a single minute while we were in the car there.
I should add that roundabouts make for GREAT sporting opportunities on a real mo'sickle...
Buck, when we were in England in the late 80's we were with Joyce's sis and her husband who had done a house/car exchange with a couple in Manchester. Because of the RHD, my brother in law, J, did all the driving, which kept us all in a state of constant fear. I love my brother in law but he's like a maniac behind the wheel. He did have some experience with driving there before as they had vacationed there several times in the past. Still, he kept the little Honda floored at all times, scared sheep, hit curbs, scraped one fender, squeezed into unbelievably tight places, bounced all over the place at high speeds, and in general drove us all crazy. Riding with him in the states is bad, but in England it was a nightmare.
ReplyDeleteDan: I think my former in-laws felt much the same about MY driving in the UK as you felt about your bro-in-law's. An occasional glance in my rear view mirror would reveal my mother-in-law's face... contorted with absolute fear. You KNOW I enjoyed that. ;-)
ReplyDelete