This made me laugh right out loud...
DEATH OF THE OLD COWSuddenly, a cow runs out into the road and a Limo driving late at night hits it head on and the car comes to a stop. The woman in the back seat - in her usual abrasive manner, says to Stan, the chauffeur, "You get out and check on that poor cow--you were driving." So Stan, the chauffeur gets out, checks, and reports that the animal is dead but it appeared to be very old. “Well,” says the wealthy, abrasive woman, "You were driving, so you go and tell the farmer in that lighted farmhouse over there."
Two hours later Stan, the chauffeur, returns totally inebriated, a full belly, his hair ruffled, with a big grin on his face. "My God, What happened to you?" asks the woman.
The chauffeur replies, "When I got there, the farmer opened his best bottle of single malt scotch, the wife gave me a meal fit for a king, and the daughter made love to me."
"What on earth did you say?" asks the woman.
“Well, I just knocked on the door..........and when it opened I said to them, ‘I'm Stan, Nancy Pelosi's chauffeur, and I've just killed the old cow.’"
The h/t goes to an Occasional Correspondent (who knows who he is).
I chuckled.....;-)
ReplyDeleteI roared out loud.
ReplyDeleteYou should have seen the looks I got from my fellow parishioners.
Very nice.
ReplyDeleteThat's a good one, but I've always liked the one that "Liz" told over at Lex's place circa fall of 2009. (the wife of the AF F-16 pilot, remember?) Goes like this:
ReplyDeleteA man washed up on a desert island after a shipwreck. The only other survivors were a sheep and a sheepdog.
The three of them got into the habit of going down to the beach every evening to watch the sunset.
On particular evening the sky was a fiery red with beautiful cirrus clouds and the breeze was warm and gentle. It was a perfect night for romance. As they sat there the sheep started looking better and better to the lonely man, Soon he leaned over and put his arm around the sheep.
But the sheepdog, ever protective of the sheep, growled fiercely and the man took his arm from around the sheep.
A few weeks passed and, lo and behold, there was another shipwreck. The only survivor was Nancy Pelosi.
That evening the man took Nancy to the evening beach ritual. It was another beautiful tropic evening--perfect for romance.Before long the man started to get "those feelings" again.
He fought the urges as long as he could, but finally gave in, moved closer to Nancy and confided to her that he hadn't had sex for months.
Nancy batted her eyelashes and asked coyly if there was anything she could do to help.
"Yes," he said, "Could you take the dog for a walk?"
@Rummy, Chris, & Curtis: Thanks, guys.
Delete@Virgil: Heh. I don't remember that, but it IS good.
OMG that's funny!
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