Did I ever tell ya The Second Mrs. Pennington considered joining the Air Force once upon a time? Well, she did. Read on for more...
There are numerous ironies in this letter and we'll mention a few as we proceed. But, about the Air Force... TSMP jumped through all the recruiting hoops and was accepted into Officers Training School (OTS), pending a successful physical exam. It came to pass that TSMP journeyed down from South Bend to Indianapolis to take the requisite physical and was met by some asshat of a USAF captain (recruiter type) who proceeded to make a less-than-subtle pass at her, a pass that, if memory serves and if Paula was accurate in her account of the event (and I have NO doubt at all in that space), would be considered sexual harassment... if not assault... in today's military climate. Which put Paula RIGHT off and rightfully so. And that was the end of that. The Air Force lost someone who would have prolly made a damned fine ossifer... and may have even decided to make a career of it. The young TSMP was quite patriotic in her youth, yanno?
That said... it was all prolly for the best, keeping in mind this was in the late '70s and the Air Force didn't look kindly upon mixed marriages, which is to say O's and E's, together. Life might could have been hard in that space.
So... ironies. Actually "irony," singular. TSMP goes on quite a bit in this letter about taking my name once we married (I had no objection, seein' as how I always thought this was the natural course of things). So, the woman remarried almost immediately following our divorce, but did she take her new husband's last name? Ummm... no. She is "Paula B." today and has been so ever since the court reinstated her maiden name. So much for that "we are one" thing, eh?
One wonders. But, Hell... as the lady said: "Who gives a shit?"
There are numerous ironies in this letter and we'll mention a few as we proceed. But, about the Air Force... TSMP jumped through all the recruiting hoops and was accepted into Officers Training School (OTS), pending a successful physical exam. It came to pass that TSMP journeyed down from South Bend to Indianapolis to take the requisite physical and was met by some asshat of a USAF captain (recruiter type) who proceeded to make a less-than-subtle pass at her, a pass that, if memory serves and if Paula was accurate in her account of the event (and I have NO doubt at all in that space), would be considered sexual harassment... if not assault... in today's military climate. Which put Paula RIGHT off and rightfully so. And that was the end of that. The Air Force lost someone who would have prolly made a damned fine ossifer... and may have even decided to make a career of it. The young TSMP was quite patriotic in her youth, yanno?
That said... it was all prolly for the best, keeping in mind this was in the late '70s and the Air Force didn't look kindly upon mixed marriages, which is to say O's and E's, together. Life might could have been hard in that space.
So... ironies. Actually "irony," singular. TSMP goes on quite a bit in this letter about taking my name once we married (I had no objection, seein' as how I always thought this was the natural course of things). So, the woman remarried almost immediately following our divorce, but did she take her new husband's last name? Ummm... no. She is "Paula B." today and has been so ever since the court reinstated her maiden name. So much for that "we are one" thing, eh?
One wonders. But, Hell... as the lady said: "Who gives a shit?"
The thing that really irks me is people who want to be hyphenated. It even sounds like something a proctologist would be good at.
ReplyDeleteFrance has some interesting laws, in that a woman never loses her birth name. She can marry and use her husbands name, but at the same time continue a bank account (or other legalities) with her birth name. Second, is that upon divorce, she loses all rights to her husbands name. If they decided to hyphenate, argh, they must both un-hyphenate, and her I believe is where the proctologist arrives...
The poor children must suffer on with the hyphenation (or space between names). Which makes for some interesting names of French people, who end up having five or six names, but be called Mimi or Fifi because no one can remember them.
I hear ya, Christiane, about the hyphenation thing... oh, do I HEAR ya. My youngest son isn't hyphenated but he carries his mother's maiden name as part of his full name. She INSISTED on that and who was I to argue? But, in retrospect...
Delete(sigh)
Upon my first and most impressionable marriage, I kept my maiden name as my middle name. No hypen. Just the traditional. But I guess that was because I had no official middle name to begin with. (I should have used " Young & Stupid" for my middle name instead). I dropped it (the middle name) altogether when I married for the second time.("Older & Still Stupid") My third was the charm in that it cured me of ever wanting to get married again.(Middle name "DONE"). I kept his last name ONLY because of my daughter. We (my daughter and I) both at one point thought we would change our last names, but after seeing the cost thought better of it. After all, what's in a name? A rose by any other.... TMSP made me laugh with the reference to 5th grade and the practice of writing our "married names". There used to be a game we played matching the letters to both the boys name and our own. Using the remaining letters we chanted love, hate, marriage over and over until the last letter upon which would be decided our fate! I bet she did that with both your names, only because we women (almost) never lose the romantic notion of "fate". Pshaw!! Thanks for the post Buck!
ReplyDeleteMost interesting stories, Alison. You certainly had lousy luck at the marriage game, similar to mine. Your story also describes why I'm not in the game any longer: I REFUSE to become a three-time loser. Twice is two times too many, thank ya, three would prolly kill me.
DeleteI circled back here only to make the general point about hyphenated names that I'm always amused by those uber feminists who insist on resisting "Teh Patriarchy" by inserting their FATHER's last name (i.e., their maiden name) in front of their husbands. Some fatal blow against the dominance of the MALE of the species,, eh? LOL! (To be filed under the heading of : "They didn't quite think this thing all the way through", lol)
ReplyDeleteInteresting point, Virgil. TSMP is one of your archetypical über-feminists these days, going by her father's family name.
DeleteInteresting post, Buck. I'm always wondering how things would have turned out if I or someone else at some point in my life had made a different choice. I suppose you've wondered the same about that experience. Anyway, I also enjoyed reading the comments here as well. The comments on your blog (exceptin' mine ;-) are insightful, sometimes humorous, and always a good read. And your well written posts are of course what bring us all here. If I were British, I'd say this blog is brilliant. I'm not, so I'll just say it's damn good.
ReplyDeleteI'm always wondering how things would have turned out if I or someone else at some point in my life had made a different choice.
DeleteMe too. Some people have elaborate lottery fantasies but I have "what if" constructions that would make those "mansions, tennis courts, and cars" thingies pale by comparison. The interesting thing (to me) is I always wind 'em up with "no, I wouldn't change a thing, really" sorts o' thoughts. That's largely true.
You make me blush, Dan. Srsly. Thank you for the praise and I'm sure the commentariat thanks you, too.