Thursday, February 14, 2013

On-Line Dating, Part Deux

From a relatively recent re-run:
I went looking for an answer to a comment Darryl made about yesterday's post, specifically where he asks for my guacamole recipe.  More on that in a minute, but in the meantime I stumbled upon this, which concerns yet another post I put up recently, that one bein' about writing on-line dating ads and trolling and stuff.
Blog-buddy Morgan has had admirable success in the realm of on-line dating (see his comment here). Ah, would that I could make the same claim. In those same comments linked in the preceding sentence I gave you the “Reader’s Digest” version of my issues with on-line dating. And now for a short war-story about this sort of social activity…
I was pretty active in the on-line dating game for a few years, most notably in Rochester, NY, and during my two-year sojourn in the Peoples Republic of the Greater San Francisco Bay Area. It was in SFO that I had one of my most traumatic on-line dating experiences…
It started as these things always do…I read her ad, dropped her an e-mail, she responded, we spent a few hours on several consecutive nights in instant messaging conversation, followed by several phone calls. We both decided we should meet, and we did. She turned out to be everything she appeared to be, and I was happy with that. There were distinct possibilities, in other words, for something other than casual dating. In a nutshell: articulate, intelligent, owned her own business, a voracious reader, great conversationalist, and not at all hard to look at. Fetching, if I may go that far.
So. It was on our fourth date, and we’re having coffee and cognac after dinner at one of SFO’s numerous superb restaurants. We don’t have any firm plans for after dinner, and I casually ask “Well, where to now?” She smiles and says “Your place?”
There couldn’t possibly have been a better answer.
We get back to my place and I’ll spare you most of the details, Gentle Reader, save for this one tiny thing. The lights are low, things are getting hot and heavy, we’re in a state of dishabille, and the deal is about to go down. Suddenly, and I DO mean suddenly, she sits up on my couch, pushes me away to arms-length and says with a very serious look on her face “I have something to tell you.”
“Uh, OK,” sez I, thinking “WTF?”
“I have herpes.”
Wow. Talk about mood-killers! So. The lights come back up, I go to the kitchen, freshen our drinks, and return to the couch, where we spend the next hour or so discussing her problem. “There are ways to work around this,” sez she. “Umm-hmm,” sez I, nodding. The bottom line, as she suggests, is that we should both give serious thought to where we’re going and what we should do. I agree. We finish our drinks and I take her home.
And that, save for two subsequent phone conversations wherein I explained myself in great detail, was that.
Work-arounds or no, herpes is forever. I wasn’t willing to take the risk. She understood, and we went our separate ways.
I’ll always appreciate the woman’s honesty, if not her timing. I hope she found someone because, with the exception of this one tiny (?) flaw, she could have been a potential mate.
There are eight million stories in the Naked City; this has been one of them. But it’s pretty illustrative of my experiences with on-line dating. I don’t have any good stories to relate, in other words, Gentle Reader, and I have a couple that are worse. Much worse. But let’s not go there.
And now you know why I decided, in part, not to place that ad on Craig's List.
This was last year... when I was thinkin' about getting back in the pool.

And now it's out to the verandah for the first al fresco Happy Hour we've had in days, if not weeks.  Well, one week, anyhoo.

1 comment:

  1. I think Herpes is one of those deals where you have to take a risk. Some people will have repeat afflictions and so forth. Others are "one and done" with no other problems and the result is immunity.

    There has to be a time where a person is worth the risks especially since you may have gotten the immunity bug so many years ago.

    Trust me on this one; There are worse things than herpes. YMMV, but unless you are up to some crazy stuff, we are all pretty safe.


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