...or, "Why I Rarely Turn My Teevee On Anymore:"
This isn't too very damned far from the truth. There was a point in time when TLC, Discovery, and The History Channel were the staples of my nightly viewing. Now? It's all pawn-shop owners, Alaskan truck drivers, toothless alligator hunters, and loggers. WTF happened? Thank The Deity At Hand we still have Mike Rowe, is all.
Uterus Cannon sounds much more brutal than womb-broom. I wonder if the Uterus Cannon has something to do with reproductive "rights"?
ReplyDeleteAs for super quick weddings, I would like to go see the Elvis chapel in Vegas. I can imagine the average couple, hammered on luv, tequila and cheap champagne, standing wobbily at the altar pledging to and promising forever to give the hunk-a-hunk-a burnin' luv to only my one teddy bear.
That's ennertainment, baby!
I wanna see "Six Fat Kids and One Dessert," meself.
DeleteWe have been contemplating getting rid of our Dish. Everything is just too stupid these days. If I want to see toothless hunters, I can go to Wal-Mart.
ReplyDeleteI've given that some thought, too (getting rid of the dish). But (a) I signed a contract and (b) my teevee is on EVERY night during hockey season. It's only in the summer when I go off the thang and waste a whole helluva lot o' money.
DeleteMan, you hit the nail right on the head. I remember when the History Channel was about, you know, history. If it wasn't for the NFL Network, the Military Channel and the New England Sports Network (NESN), I'd probably do what the Nuke did, scratch the dish, scratch the cable and get Netflix.
ReplyDeleteOh, one other thing. Remember when National Geographic specials were actually like, special? When that channel first came out they replayed a lot of their old special programs. Now it's called "NatGeo" and is a "green propaganda machine". Yeah, let's indoctrinate the young. And oh yeah, Mike Rowe absolutely rocks!
I generally agree with you on the NatGeo channel, Sarge, but some of their stuff is still pretty good. But they get most of that from the Beeb.
DeleteI complain to my wifey all the time about the junk she watches especially when she pitches the fit over the cable bill. I tell her the reason it is so high is that our payment and that of tens of thousands of other rate payers funds the crappy shows and channels that would never see the light of day if we could pay as we go or "al a carte". But she just loves those shows about the "Sister Wives" or the shows about the Duggars and Jon and Kate and her 8 crowd. Give me a break. I think of all those people who worked to create the technology that we call Television and I am sure none of them expected to see young girls, Toddlers even dressed up as grown up whores! And there is a show for that. Disgusting.
ReplyDeleteI like the Military channel and that is about it right now cause I am not a fan of Mike Rowe.
BT: Jimmy T sends (from the CZ).
I've been known to bitch about my cable bill, too... but no one hears me do it, unless I put it in print. The problem with The Military Channel is too many damned re-runs!
DeleteHave a Budvar fer me!!
MY WIFE, whom I love dearly despite this, laps up the reality shows like a starving cat on a bowl of cream. I don't know what it is with women. They just plain can't get enough of someone being treated miserably and getting into a shouting match. I've told her that if these sorts of shows ("Dance Moms", "Toddlers & Tiaras", "Say Yes To The Dress", etc.) had guys in them, the shows would be over in five minutes. Someone would get to the "F*** you!" portion of the program, blows would be exchanged, then everybody would go have a beer. Instead, the women just endlessly bitch and moan and piss and complain and don't actually do a damn thing to change any of the situations. Hideous.
ReplyDeleteYou've kindly pointed out yet another benefit of the single life. Reality shows hadn't come along before I achieved single status, but there were SOAPS. And VCRs. Aiiieee. No more, though. ;-)
DeleteWe can blame the writer's strike several years ago for the waste of time that is reality TV. We cancelled our cable TV earlier this year - saving $120 per month in the process - and now just use cable internet for streaming. We haven't missed cable once and we are discovering all sorts of fun series thru Hulu Plus that we would never have seen otherwise because they would have been lost in the sea of shit on cable TV.
ReplyDeleteI'd cancel my satellite contract too... if it weren't for hockey.
DeleteI'm depressed now.
ReplyDeleteYes, $85 a month for crap like this? And I don't even get Les Stroud's new Survivorman show?
I'm not sure it's worth the occasional baseball and football game. We've got Netflix Streaming. If the wife would agree, it'd be gone.
Oh. And sadly ... Mike Rowe is done. No more Dirty Jobs.
ReplyDeleteBut we can reminisce....