Monday, October 31, 2011

I Don't Often Do This...

... but here's a post from the Shoebox blog in its entirety.
This is not a spoiler, it’s in the trailer and it’s pretty key to the whole movie: in the future (which sucks, btw) everyone kind of freezes at 25, then you have a year to live unless you buy extra time. So… your mom can be crazy hot. Your mom. She’s gonna look 25, same as you. But she’s your mom. This would not be easy to deal with.

Navigating the fact that everyone kind of piles up and the rich get richer and time is literally money in kind of Occupy Wall Street, the movie, is absolutely real actor Justin Timberlake. And this is his mom.  In the movie. In real life, this is his mom.  She seems nice. But not nice. I hope the future does not turn out like it did in this movie. I could not act like it’s OK that this is my mom. Also, no jet packs.
Longtime readers know that I'm not a movie guy and that's putting it kindly and gently.  I could pull a Jack Nicholson and tell ya what I really think about movies but you prolly couldn't stand the truth. Yeah, a quote from a movie.  I'm into irony.  

All THAT said, I love the Shoebox "Tiny Little Movie Reviews" on a number of different levels.  First and foremost, they're TINY and there are no long-winded expositions on anything, let alone the nuances of this actor, that special effect, or the other bullshit.  Second: they're always funny.  Always.  Third: the reviews tend to validate my feelings about movies, in general.  I guess I'm kinda un-American in that regard, but I really don't give a Big Rat's Ass.  I'm of the opinion Hollywood lost whatever relevance it had 30 years ago.  At least.


  1. Morgan took that movie apart pretty thoroughly. I do like the links provided in the review.

  2. Speaking of moms, mine went to a college reunion where she saw an old friend - an 85 year old friend. Mom said her friend had her son with her and he was quite handsome. Mom said she wished she could have introduced him to Jesse. I had to point out that it was probably a grandson rather than a son. My mom seems to have more and more problem with time. I hope she doesn't go see this movie - could be confusing.

  3. Morgan took that movie apart pretty thoroughly.

    I know. That's kinda what prompted this post.

    Lou: I have problems with time, too. Like: there's not enough of it left.

  4. Seems like a new twist on Logan's Run to me. Maybe I'll catch it on the boob tube some day.

    I find JT's real mom to be rather easy on the eyes, myself. As for the other gals pictured...too young.

  5. Right there with ya’, Buck, hate movies, don’t go anymore. They lost me a long time ago.

    Besides, real life right now is enough “entertainment” for me, thankyouverymuch.
    Only we can’t just walk out of the theater, we’re living this tragic drama.

  6. We rarely go out for movies, but will do a pay per view from time to time. Now I'm I ytiguedby this one. I actually really like Justin Timberlake.

    I may break down and go to A Very Harold and Kumar Christmas though.

  7. Thanks for the mention, gents.

    You'll notice in my very last paragraph I revert to my "manly" way of reviewing movies...were there tits or were there not, were there car explosions or were there not. Were I to really shoot for brevity, I'd beat The Shoebox at its own game -- Raiders of the Lost Ark car explosions, Zardoz tits, The Godfather both tits & car explosions. I'd whip through about a hundred movies in a page and a half.

    Some would like that; most wouldn't. Many's the time I've thought I should try it, just to see if the final product would be as useless as I'd expect. Perhaps not.


Just be polite... that's all I ask.