I got to thinkin' that Michelle O would NOT be pleased at the way I eat. Sometimes. We all do this sorta thang occasionally and I know nary a soul who hasn't eaten a whole bag o' Oreos (or the equivalent amount o' junk food o' choice) and called it dinner at one point or another. But consider my entire caloric intake from yesterday, in rough chronological order:
- Eight cups o' strong espresso-grind coffee, lightened with moderate amounts o' half-and-half and sweetened with raw cane sugar. Oh, and one level teaspoon o' Ovaltine, per cup.
- A complete bag o' home made tortilla chips from Juanito's restaurant, accompanied by a quarter jar o' El Pinto Green Chile Sauce (consumed in concert with the following)
- Three beers (Sammy Adams Octoberfest x2, Newcastle Nut Brown Ale)
- Four Nabsico Pinwheel cookies
- Two large glasses o' whole milk (we do NOT do 2% or any other sort o' perverted and unnatural food acts here at El Casa Móvil De Pennington... in the truest sense, meaning we also reject anything/everything labeled "organic" or "light")
- Four fingers o' Cragganmore (well, mebbe just slightly more)
- One tin o' Crown Prince Kipper Snacks
- A half pint o' Häagen-Dazs butter pecan ice cream
- One Centrum Silver vitamin pill
If you are happy about your intake on a day like that, that should be good enough for anyone.
ReplyDeleteThe government, of course, has never been wrong about anything, so having them set our diets would be a good thing, ... right?
Or is Michelle O just an overbearing, dominating, more-than-slightly-addled, busybody? With the size of her rather ample a**, I don't think that she has a say in what anybody should eat!
ReplyDeleteI vote for the overbearing FLOTUS. Add in annoying, vexing, perplexing and holier-than-thou.
ReplyDeleteAs for the food thing: we all do that sometimes Buck, you are too right.
"...One Centrum Silver"
ReplyDeleteTo me, a good multivitamin is like a permission slip to eat whatever the heck I want. Looks like we agree on yet another issue.
I'm sure four dieticians somewhere reading your post, just passed out!
ReplyDeleteThe government, of course, has never been wrong about anything, so having them set our diets would be a good thing, ... right?
ReplyDeleteHeh. I'm thinkin' about six million New Yorkers (or more) would take issue with THAT statement, Anon.
Deb: She DOES have quite the ass, doesn't she?
Add in annoying, vexing, perplexing and holier-than-thou.
Yeah. All that AND a bag o' chips, Kris.
Inno: Aside from appreciating the complexities o' "Sympathy for the Devil," I can't think of anything else about which we disagree. ;-)
Ed: I hope I gave 'em heart-failure, too. In a not-so-literal way, of course.
I'm with Deb and innominatus.
ReplyDeleteI do, however, love "organic" foodstuffs. I figure a lunch of organic granola and dried fruits and veggies cancels out a dinner of nachos. I've also been known to eat a whole bag of tortilla chips, but they have to be "locally-made" or "organic"; I hate anything made by Frito-lay.
Kipper snacks and butter-pecan ice cream? You are either pregnant or need to use some mouthwash. :-D
Kipper snacks and butter-pecan ice cream? You are either pregnant or need to use some mouthwash. :-D
ReplyDeleteWell, I didn't eat those two things together; there was at least two hours o' separation. The ice cream was a midnite snack kinda thang. ;-)
It just pisses me off when someone tells me how and what I should eat - as if we are all the same. Makes me think they are rather ignorant of the way things work. So, I'll get off the fence now and say Michelle should stay the hell away from my kitchen.
ReplyDeleteI don't see an issue. Looks to me that you covered all the food groups, at least the ones that count.
ReplyDeleteLou: I agree with you, in each and every respect.
ReplyDeleteDan: Well, I left out nicotine (one of the four food groups... those bein' alcohol, sugar, caffeine, and nicotine) but I assumed that was a given. ;-)
GOT to hide this post from my wife the RN--she'll lecture ME for hours just because she can't corner you, Buck. ("You and your friends!" etc., LOL)
ReplyDeletewv: really--LOL, as in REALLY!
Virgil: Heh. That's YOUR problem, Buddy! But, Hey... I do hear ya. The love of a good woman is both hard to find and (sometimes) hard to bear. ;-)
ReplyDeleteThrow in a tablespoon or two of peanut butter, and you look good to go. You might also add a tad bit more chocolate. Let Michelle choke on her "food desert" theory and preachy-fyin'.
ReplyDeleteThere were many times when I was pregnant and Pepper was away that I'd have a banana split for dinner. Calcium, potassium, fruit, milk. All it needed was a little peanut butter for protein!