My Buddy Ed In Florida sends along the following not-so-politically-correct item:
Chicks
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When I was 14, I hoped that one day I would have a girlfriend.Heh. This one could be the story of my life but it cuts a lil close to the bone. I was 30 when I met The Second Mrs. Pennington, 33 when we married, and 53 when we split the blanket. But I deviate from the norm in that she left me with most everything I owned (at the time). One should always count one's blessings, how ever small they may be. One should always keep things in perspective, too.
When I was 16 I got a girlfriend, but there was no passion, so I decided I needed a passionate girl with a zest for life.
In college I dated a passionate girl, but she was too emotional. Everything was an emergency; she was a drama queen, cried all the time and threatened suicide. So I decided I needed a girl with stability.
When I was 25 I found a very stable girl but she was boring. She was totally predictable and never got excited about anything. Life became so dull that I decided that I needed a girl with some excitement.
When I was 28 I found an exciting girl, but I couldn't keep up with her. She rushed from one thing to another, never settling on anything. She did mad impetuous things and made me miserable as often as happy. She was great fun initially and very energetic, but directionless. So I decided to find a girl with some real ambition.
When I turned 31, I found a smart ambitious girl with her feet planted firmly on the ground and married her. She was so ambitious that she divorced me and took everything I owned.
I am now older and wiser and am looking for a girl with big tits.
Nice boat! You got off lucky with TSMP. Like you said, you're the exception and not the norm.
ReplyDeleteI won't go into any detail, but TSMP was VERY reasonable during the divorce. We negotiated the property settlement between ourselves; the lawyers were just there to file the paperwork. I'm only speculating, but I think that happens more often than not in a late-life divorce.
ReplyDeleteMy eighth grade tracher asked us all to tell the class what we planned to do in life, so I told everyone I wanted to marry a rich doctor. They all laughed.
ReplyDeleteAnyway, I married a rich doctor who was 10 years older than me, and when she finally found out I was a worthless sack of shit, she divorced me.
Anyway, 30 years later she still send me a check for $1500 a month settlement. I have so much beer, I had to build shelves in my garage.
Half my 8th grade class is dead now. Overworked, underpaid, dropped dead without ever reaching step one of their dreams.
A person just has to know their limitations.
Deb, you are mistaken. Buck IS the "Norm..."
ReplyDeleteNyuk!
Anon, that is just about the most touching story I've read in a long, long time. Most folks never realize their childhood dreams.
Hell, I wanted to be an Astronaut! I shoulda' aimed higher, Anon...shoulda' aimed higher.
I married the well endowed the first time so we've been good for 34 years!
ReplyDeleteSo far, only one person noticed the boat. Besides me.
ReplyDeleteBoats are good. But I am with Anonymous, I have so much beer I keep it in a keg and in a ring around my waist. Sorta like a beer camel.
I know how worthless I am, too. Lucky thing I haven't been shitcanned, yet.
Snort. Hah ahahahahaha. That cracked me up!
ReplyDeleteI married for laughter and love. So far that has worked well for me. Chances are I will never marry again. Instead, I think I would get an RV.
ReplyDeleteHeh! Good one, Lou.
ReplyDeleteI married for sex. Honestly, I did. And, that worked out pretty good, too.
I know what ya' mean, though. After almost 32 perfect (snort) years, if I found myself alone one day, an RV would look pretty good. Not so that I could go visit the kids...but so they wouldn't come visit me.
And NEVER another mate. NEVER! I know one should never say "NEVER," but there are some things that just ain't gonna happen.
My eighth grade tracher asked us all to tell the class what we planned to do in life, so I told everyone I wanted to marry a rich doctor. They all laughed.
ReplyDeleteThere's nothing better than a man who realizes his life's dream. ;-)
Andy: I used ta say I was "Norm" twice a month. That's still kinda-sorta true in this direct deposit age, but not as literal as it once was.
I married the well endowed the first time so we've been good for 34 years!
ANOTHER man livin' the dream!
Sorta like a beer camel.
Heh. It's a wonder I don't have the same effect.
Alison: I'm glad ya saw the humor. SOME women I know would take offense.
Chances are I will never marry again. Instead, I think I would get an RV.
Heh. I'm with Andy, Lou... Nice one!
Not so that I could go visit the kids...but so they wouldn't come visit me.
Heh. We won't touch THAT, except to say no one asks me to store their stuff. It's the other way around in my world.
No offense here. Nice boat...what else...?
ReplyDeleteI'm like Lou - married for love and laughs. And for nearly 30 years it's been just that.
I'd never marry again either; The Oracle has spoiled me so spectacularly that no one would be able to put up with me!