Monday, November 15, 2010

Am I a Homer or What?

Fan voting began today for the NHL All-Star game... and here's the way I went:

It's OK to be a complete homer in cases like this, yanno?  And that would be me.


In other news...  I just don't understand wimmen but that's a given: I'm male.  I'm speaking specifically about lessons-learned where the Fairer Sex is concerned -- those things passed down from father to son -- one such lesson being "don't buy her appliances as gifts."  Well, why not?  I bought myself a new vacuum cleaner today and I'm just as happy as a pig in shit about the thing.  It's cool.  Waaay better than the old one.  More power (Tool Time!), good looks, a better tool set... what's not to like?

Well there's this in the "not to like" space... an excerpt from a conversation I had with a friend this afternoon:
Hoo-Boy am I pissed.  I had to go buy a new vacuum today; the old one just frickin' quit.  So, I get home and I REALLY like this new thing... it's much more powerful than the old, has a better set of tools, yadda, yadda.  It's actually TOO powerful, as it ate a hole in one of my throw rugs before I could power off and disengage the rug from the roller.  That's ONE.  Then... there I am, using the crevice tool to get at places that haven't been gotten at in more than a while and I hear a change of tone in the motor, followed almost instantaneously by the smell of Burning Something.  Cut to the chase:  the belt broke before the motor burned out but the brush melted in two places... not to mention yet ANOTHER throw rug with a frickin' hole in it.  The vacuum had begun to eat another throw rug and I wasn't paying attention, preoccupied as I was with crevices.

So.  New toy, broken on its first deployment.  But thank The Deity At Hand that I was on the last leg of the cleaning odyssey.  The carpets are all done... but I have to write off to Bissell and order a new brush.  You wouldn't have wanted to be in the general area when I first figgered out what was going on, believe me.  Air, blue, etc.
All is well, though. I called the Bissell customer service folks and a new brush and belts are on their way. They'll arrive by the time I notice little dust clouds emanating from the carpet as I walk to the loo, too (seven bid'niz days). I guess I'm OK with that.

Beer me!


  1. Getting a new and improved appliance is very nice, but not necessarily as a gift. If you specifically ask for a new vacuum cleaner, then it would be okay to get one for your birthday or whatever. If you noticed your wife was struggling with the old vacuum and you said, "Honey, just wait until your birthday and I will buy you a new vacuum," you would be dog doo. If she needs a new appliance, just buy one. If it is time for a birthday, anniversary, Christmas, etc. then buy her something special, thoughtful, etc. If men would just learn this, we wouldn't have to rehash it.

  2. Looks like ours! Works great for us!

  3. If men would just learn this, we wouldn't have to rehash it.

    Face it, Lou. We're just fundamentally stoopid. ;-)

    Glenn: I'm thinking it'll work great for me, too... once I fix it.

  4. I don't know, maybe The Mrs. is odd (well, I'll not go there), but she loves getting gifts with electric cords. Really, she does.

    It gives her more long pieces of copper wire for to strangle us with.

  5. Most times there are spare belts fit into a molded compartment under the bottom cover.

    The brush is a different matter, but it should be an easy job.

  6. Andy: I thought about Pam when writing this bit. Really.

    Anon: Not this time, re: belts. I took it apart yesterday to see what was wrong...

  7. soooo -- will they be adding new throw rugs in the box with the replacement parts?

    Altho, I guess they put that in the category of "operator error".


  8. Operator error, indeed. It WAS that. As for the suspicious nature of my in-box... I think, personally, it has to do with some unsavory sorts I have frequent and sometimes lengthy communications with. Just sayin'. ;-)

  9. Lou nailed the corollary to the "No Appliances as Gifts" rule. No further explanation necessary.

    I actually a new Dyson in a drawing at the Veterinarian's office! (I'd never shell out the money for it, but I've long coveted one!) I love it. I love, Love, LOVE it!! When one lives with a labrador, one needs a darn good vaccuum. The only problem with it is that there are no written instructions -- just those pictograph things that are susceptible to many interpretations. It took the both of to figure out how to get the brush to release, and we're pretty well-schooled folks!

    I'm sorry your new toy broke, though.

  10. I looked at a Dyson, Moogie. But like you... I couldn't justify the money. They're quite proud of those things.


Just be polite... that's all I ask.