Wednesday, June 16, 2010

Rituals


I always take my whiskey neat... without any sort of mixer, water, or even ice.  Just straight up, thank you very much, and that'll be fine.  I actually drink nearly all my alcohol straight up, the only three exceptions being martinis, margaritas, and gin and tonics (and the occasional Manhattan).  So what you see above is a major departure from normal practice, in that I added ice to the Drambuie and single-malt last evening.  Ice.  We never do that sort of thing.  Ever.  And I immediately thought of my father as I did so, for some unknown reason.

I say "unknown reason" because my Dad always mixed something into his drinks... usually ginger ale for the classic highball or soda in those rare times he drank scotch.  And water with his raki.  Always something - he never took his whiskey neat as far as I know.  So it's a mystery as to why he popped into my head last night.  Maybe it was because of the evening ritual, maybe it was because I was breaking habit, maybe it was something else.  But there he was, and there he remained as I sat outside taking in the sunset.  

I thought back on HIS evening drinking ritual... always two martinis before dinner and two highballs after, rarely if ever more.  But it was ritual, indeed.  My Mom would mix up the evening batch of martinis every afternoon between 1630 and 1645, slip two olives on the toothpicks, put the pitcher and two vermouth-rinsed glasses in the freezer, and wait for the sound of my Dad's car in the driveway, which happened sometime around 1730.  Her timing was exquisite: she'd have the martinis poured by the time Dad hit the back door. She would open the door, place the glass in his hand, and turn her cheek up to him for a kiss.  They would then go straight from the kitchen to the bedroom, where he'd change clothes and they'd begin the day's recap, moving from there to the den.  Every night, Monday through Friday, like clockwork... it never varied, it never failed.  Or in those rare events when it did fail, there would be a call telling Mom he'd be late.  

It was amazing, really.  Serious June and Ward stuff, except for the fact that my sister and I were under strict orders to be invisible until such time as we were summoned.  That first hour or so of the evening was reserved for adults... we could commune over dinner, which was family time.  And we did, every night, the four of us... in the dining room over a proper dinner.  My childhood was full of rituals like this.

All of this came rushing back to me last night, unbidden.  But I'm glad it did, coz they just don't make 'em like that any longer... for better or worse.

13 comments:

  1. Beats the hell out of my current routine...get home after working a 10-11 hour day (only 9 if I'm lucky), either grab some food on the way home or get home and enjoy the fun of attempting to cook myself dinner. Watch TV for an hour or two, and go to bed to do the same thing the next day.

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  2. Those sort of memories are why we have memories, Buck.

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  3. Do you blend Single Malt and Drambuie, and drink it neat? Are these separate evolutions?

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  4. Beautiful Buck, there is such simple symmetry to that memory isn't there. The routine of domesticity - it's a damn shame that it doesn't exist anymore.

    Not necessarily in the same Ward/June kind of way. But in the over-programmed lives of kids and indeed, ourselves, there is precious little time to even sit down to dinner together anymore.

    Pity.

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  5. Mike: You need to find yourself a woman. Stat. ;-)

    Jim: Agreed, but this one was better than most.

    Do you blend Single Malt and Drambuie, and drink it neat?

    Yup, that's the way I do it, usually. The ice ain't bad, tho. Most of the scotch was consumed neat and without the Drambuie, however.

    ...and indeed, ourselves, there is precious little time to even sit down to dinner together anymore.

    A minor hot button of mine. I used to emphasize to TSMP how important the "dinner hour" was to me and she agreed, as she had a similar upbringing. Thanks for the kind words!

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  6. Looking good Buck. I'm not much of a drinker but my old man was partial to Akvavit. He kept a bottle in the freezer. I haven't seen the stuff in years except at the occasional Class VI store.

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  7. Ohh! I'm so glad the memory crept in! It made me happy.

    But, of course your precious Mama had that ritual down to the moment she heard the car pull in the drive -- she was a southern lady! It's de rigeur for us! (And we still do enjoy our cocktail hour away from the telly -- before we sit down to dinner in front of the telly. *Sigh*)

    The scene you painted (including the banishment of offspring) also reminded me of "Bewitched's" Samantha and Darren. The first Darren -- I never really bought into the second Darren.

    Nothing like a little idyllic slice of life!

    I may try the scotch and Drambuie!

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  8. Your mother must have been an exceptional woman. And yes they still make them like that, but they are few and far between. In today's society, if you stay home and keep house and make it a wonderful place for your husband and family, you are a freak. Yet, it is the way I have taught Jesse. It is what she wants - when she finds the right man. Today I mentioned to the Painted Ladies that Jesse had quit her job to pursue other things, and they were all horrified rather than happy. I won't talk to them about it again.

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  9. ...my old man was partial to Akvavit.

    Ah... one of those drinks with as much cultural baggage as anything under the sun! I never acquired the taste... fortunately or unfortunately as that may be. ;-)

    ...she was a southern lady! It's de rigeur for us!

    You make me wanna pack up and head for points east and south, Moogie. I hear what you're sayin'. That goes for your other points, as well.

    Lou: TSMP informed me when she was "with child" that she intended to be a stay-at-home Mom, and that just pleased me to NO end. It's too bad things and stuff didn't work out. I hear ya on your other observations, as well. TOO well, actually. I appreciate what you and Toby have done with Jess, and that "right guy" will too, once he finds his way to Jesse's door.

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  10. MissBirdlegs in AL16 June, 2010 19:41

    Wonderful memory, Buck. I miss that "all sitting down to dinner" ritual, too. My days go like Mike's do - not a lot of fun. :-)

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  11. Buck, I enjoyed this piece a lot. It was good to read about a regular family routine like that and the pattern seemed to me to suggest a comfortable stability and dependability. My Dad was a long haul trucker and so the routines in our family were mostly weekend things. And there was no alcohol since both were teetotalers, Mom for Baptist reasons, and Dad for personal reasons (his Dad, my Papa had had a bit of a problem with the bottle). I'm not going to go on with my own recollection, but that's the beauty of your writing here, it's done so well it makes me and other readers recall our own families' daily patterns.

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  12. My goodness, you consume a lot of beverages!!

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  13. My days go like Mike's do - not a lot of fun. :-)

    "Katy... this is Mike. Mike, Katy. I think you two have a lot in common..." ;-)

    Dan: Thanks for sharing your memories on this subject. And your kind words! I could relate some "problems with the bottle" stories that run in the family, but I won't. Suffice to say my childhood wasn't ALL sweetness and light.

    Kath: I don't consume a lot, I just consume a moderate amount OFTEN. It's rare event when I get all toasty.

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