On-Line Shopping

We bought ourselves a new laptop Saturday... mainly coz we want to stay in touch with our friends and the inner-nets in general while we're off gallivanting towards the East Coast and points in between next month.  We've not seen a need for a laptop since our once and former laptop gave up the ghost three years or so ago. But there is a need now.  

We must keep up with the voluminous amount of e-mail we receive (heh), yanno? Unlike you, Gentle Reader, we do not receive tons of  "Jesus Loves You," "Little Kimmy Needs a New Heart/Kidney/Lungs/Spleen," "Precious Kitties,"or "Preserve Our Second Amendment!" and other assorted political tripe of various and sundry sorts.  

Nope.  ALL of our stuff is of the "must read" variety, which comes from cultivating friends and acquaintances with impeccable taste.  I mean there's essential stuff like the missives I receive from My Buddy Ed In Florida, a lot of which become blog-fodder.  Check that link if ya don't believe me, or there's this example:

A man watching golf on TV kept switching channel to a dirty movie featuring a lusty couple.

"I don't know whether to watch them or the game," he said to his wife.

"For heaven's sake, watch them," his wife said.  "You already know how to play golf!!!!!!!

See?  Quality stuff.  We don't want to miss that, nor do we want to find six thousand unread e-mails in our in-box when we return.  That would be too much for a gentleman of leisure to absorb.  Better we get them every day while we're on the road.

And we must POST, too.  I owe you that much, Gentle Reader.  Think of all the Happy Hours in strange and different places you'd miss otherwise!  And think of the road pictures you would also miss... like this:

Ain't that great?  But enough with the digressions and bogus rationales.  All y'all are smart enough to realize we just wanted a new toy.

So.   I recently became a Hewlett-Packard retiree, since HP acquired EDS back in 2009.  There are certain benefits associated with my new status, not the least of which include an HP employee/retiree discount.  And HP makes some pretty good laptops.  You can figger out the rest, I'm sure. 

Ah, but it was painful, trying to get this employee discount.  We'll cut right to the chase with this (I made some minor edits to remove typos, but you should note the highlighted bits):

06/05/2010 11:06:15AM Session Started with Agent (Julia A)
06/05/2010 11:06:15AM Buck: "Does this price include my HP (EDS) Retiree discount?"
06/05/2010 11:06:21AM Agent (Julia A): "Thank you for contacting the HP Home & Home Office Store Chat."
06/05/2010 11:06:35AM Agent (Julia A): "My name is Julia. I hope that you are doing well today, Buck." 06/05/2010 11:06:58AM Buck: "Thanks, Julia I'm fine and hope you are, too."
06/05/2010 11:07:11AM Agent (Julia A): "Yes, I am."
06/05/2010 11:07:49AM Agent (Julia A): "I understand that you are asking if your chosen HP product includes the HP EPP discount."
06/05/2010 11:09:05AM Buck: "Yep! I have another question, too. Does this laptop have a card reader that will read my camera's flash card? Which is... a Compact Flash config."
06/05/2010 11:09:31AM Agent (Julia A): "I see. I am happy that you considered purchasing an HP product. With HP, you are sure to get quality products."
06/05/2010 11:09:37AM Agent (Julia A): "I am willing to assist you."
06/05/2010 11:09:51AM Agent (Julia A): "By the way, do you have an existing account with us?"
06/05/2010 11:10:31AM Buck: "I'm pretty sure I do. My e-mail is (e-mail redacted)."
06/05/2010 11:10:54AM Buck: "I can give you my employee ID if you need that."
06/05/2010 11:11:14AM Agent (Julia A): "Don't you have an HP EPP account yet?"
06/05/2010 11:11:33AM Agent (Julia A): "I am referring to your HP Employee Purchase Program account."
06/05/2010 11:11:41AM Buck: "Once again: I THINK I do."
06/05/2010 11:12:02AM Agent (Julia A): "May I know your complete name, please?"
06/05/2010 11:12:12AM Buck: "Norman E Pennington"
06/05/2010 11:12:29AM Agent (Julia A): "Thank you."
06/05/2010 11:13:06AM Agent (Julia A): "Actually, I can see an account of yours here, but it is not updated or registered to our HP Employee Purchase Program yet."
06/05/2010 11:13:46AM Agent (Julia A): "In order for you to get an HP EPP discount, you should log-in to such account."
06/05/2010 11:14:05AM Agent (Julia A): "May I know your EDS email address?"
06/05/2010 11:14:16AM Buck: "Can you assist me with that? I tried creating an HP EPP account but got error messages stating an account already existed with my e-mail address."
06/05/2010 11:14:41AM Buck: "It looked like the ultimate Catch-22 situation. :-)"
06/05/2010 11:15:14AM Buck: "I'm retired from EDS."
06/05/2010 11:16:00AM Agent (Julia A): "I understand that."
06/05/2010 11:16:18AM Buck: "Ergo, no EDS e-mail addy."
06/05/2010 11:17:30AM Agent (Julia A): "The thing is we cannot create a new account of yours here since your personal information was connected to your EDS account."
06/05/2010 11:19:51AM Agent (Julia A): "It would be best that you call our Sales Center who can best assist you."
06/05/2010 11:20:31AM Agent (Julia A): "Please call 866-221-4553, and a Sales Representative will be able to assist you with your order placement and answer any remaining questions that you have. Their hours of operation are between 7:00 AM - 2:00 AM EST, 7 days a week."
06/05/2010 11:20:35AM Buck: "What? Let's review. (a) I tried to create an EPP account. I was refused because an account supposedly existed with my e-mail address. (b) I entered my e-mail address and clicked "forgot password." (c) I received an e-mail, clicked on the link and reset my password. (d) I entered the store and filled out a configuration for a laptop. (e) I only want to know if the price includes my discount. (f) Are we clear?
06/05/2010 11:21:47AM Buck: "OK, Julia. I'll call the Sales Center. Thank you for your help."
06/05/2010 11:22:06AM Agent (Julia A): "You are welcome."
06/05/2010 11:22:12AM Agent (Julia A): "Is there anything else I can assist you with today?"
06/05/2010 11:22:28AM Buck: "Nope. We're good to go."

Ah, well.  We called the Sales Center as advised and the deal was done in ten short minutes... with all discounts, as advertised.  And you, Gentle Reader, shall get your road pictures and other such terribly important info when we set out on the road next month.

I know you can't wait.