Monday, June 21, 2010


One of my hot-buttons... a serious hot-button... is all those damned eee-dee drug ads on teevee.  I was only ten days into my most-excellent blogging career before I published my first rant on the subject (and you know there may be more), as a matter of fact.  What the sergeant said at that time:
Viagra, Cialis, Levitra. How many awkward conversations have there been in America when an eight year old asks "Mom (Dad), what's EEE-DEE?" For God's sake, why don't they run half hour soft-porn infomercials on CNBC at 2:00 a.m. or advertise in Golf or Field and Stream magazines? Not suitable for prime-time. Ever.
Still true, that.  I had categorized the drug ads in the "Bad" category of teevee stuff, but the ads in question are the epitome of good taste and discretion... especially the silliness of twin bathtubs sitting in unlikely places...  compared to this offense to one's sensibilities:

Apparently this ad has been around for quite a while... at least a year or so, judging from the comments at The Tube of You.  But I saw it for the first time during my epic bout of insomnia night before last.  I'll give The Military Channel credit where credit is due: the ad ran sometime around 0300 hrs and NOT in prime-time.  Still and even... perhaps the ultimate offense to my sensibilities is this device is Medicare Part B approved.  Our tax dollars are paying for something that might well be called Peter-Pumps-It-Up, a name only slightly more outrageous than Pos-T-Vac... a device formerly available only in sleazy establishments with "adult" in their bid'niz name or by mail order.   Grok THAT if you will, Gentle Reader.

Added, 45 minutes later:  Why can't I think of this stuff at the time I actually post?  So there I was... in the shower... and I'm thinking the women in this ad deserve an Academy Award (or the advertising equivalent thereof) for keeping a straight face while filming this thing.  Along those same lines... can you imagine foreplay scenarios involving this device?  I can't, coz nothing deflates the male ego... amongst other things... faster than laughter.  Nothing.  And I've not known one single woman in my life who wouldn't have collapsed on the floor in paroxysms of similar laughter had I brought one of these things home.  Or on a date.  Or whatever.  This simply does not compute.


  1. Okay Buck...I thought this was April Fool's a couple of months late.

    So, I called the toll-free number.

    Damn...this really is a real thing. Dang...

    Jeez Louise! I have many thoughts right now, but it would not be appropriate to type them out on a PG-13 rated blog.

    This world is insane! INSANE, I tell ya'!

    I'm "Grokin'" it alright...

    Excellent work. I'm proud to know you!

    Aw crud...WV: queeric

  2. Don't think we'll ever be able to grok that.

    That marketing strategy is kinda along the lines of "feminine hygiene products." Gross, no matter how you spin it. Or pump it.

    Sorry. Couldn't resist.

    The absolute worst is a radio commercial played around these parts where the man thanks his doctor for his "professional" advice and kicks into this smarmy, knowing, stage chuckle. Ewwwww.

    I think I did a post on which of the EEE-DEE commercials was my favorite awhile back, when they were still pretty mild and demanded the use of imagination. I'll have to look.

    Andy -- what do it know?!?!?

  3. Andy and Moogie: I hear ya both. The eee-dee advertising thing is just mind-boggling, coz it's every-frickin'-where. Half of the male population must be afflicted if you believe what ya see.

    And I just added an update that occurred to me as I was getting ready to go buy a coffee pot.

  4. Moogie, I DESERVED that. Standing O!

    Buck, the update is spot on. Jeepers! I mean, I'm not on the market, and haven't been since Nov. 1976. But, I can only imagine how shameful/desperate/retarded/stupid some gal would be to go along with The Pump.

    And you are correck! If you look at TV, you'd think that nobody can be naturally...oh well, I'd better stop there. But you get my drift...

  5. Andy: Yup on all counts. And ditto for any MAN dumb enough to believe the stuff in the ad. But ya know what Barnum was alleged to have said about suckers-per-minute, the American public, and so on.

  6. Ya gotta be a "Stranger in a Strange Land" to not have been bombarded with creepy images about umentionable subjects.

    At least we can still share water.

  7. Uh -- hello. I, uh -- wow, how to be tactful for everyone about this?? (Bec. I ALWAYS am, ya know.)

    Uh -- well, I tend to laugh rather easily when perhaps someone is TRYING to be tooo romantic, so if you manly types were to want to, uh, you know USE this item, well, then there would be a LOT of giggling. OH. MY. GOODNESS.

    Certainly I haven't found all these men taking these pills. Not sure I want to!! Bless their hearts and all that, but -- well, I WAS going to say are there really that many men that need these items? But who is going to own up to it? Strange.

    Wow, Buck, you are just lighting up the airwaves today, aren't you??? :)

  8. This reminds me of when my kids would say, "Wow! This (holding some object) really stinks!" Then they would try to hold it under my nose for me to smell. My reply was always, "If you said it stinks, why would I want to smell it too?!" That is kind of how I feel about the video. If you say it is bad, I don't want to watch it. I'll take your word for it. And yet...

  9. Barco, I'd filter it first.

  10. Darryl: Agreed... we're all WAY overexposed to this crap.

    Kath: I don't mean to imply that laughter doesn't have its place in the bedroom, coz I've shared many good giggle or six there. Emphasis on shared. ;-) But you got my point... as I said, no woman I know could keep a straight face when confronted with one of those things.

    Lou: There IS a certain amount of entertainment value in the ad... if you approach it as humor.

  11. "I'd filter it first"

    I wasn't goin' there. Just a Heinlein reference.

  12. Just a Heinlein reference.

    I grokked that. ;-)

  13. FWIW, my take on this topic:

    1) There's too much abuse of alcohol going on. It DOES affect the, ahem, blood stream.

    2) Is it at all possible that, after a "certain age," men are SUPPOSED to slow down in this area? I know that's not something that most men want to consider, let alone acknowledge, but ... Evolution and all that?

    3) And just for giggles (or chuckles, if you prefer): it never ceases to make me laugh when those commercials get to the part where they warn about sudden loss of vision or hearing. All that blood diverted ... ya think?

  14. Is it at all possible that, after a "certain age," men are SUPPOSED to slow down in this area?

    I don't think so, not from what I've read (and personal experience to a very limited extent). I'm thinking "slow down" in the sense of not being able to function at all, as opposed to the natural diminishing of frequency where "encounters" are concerned, or multiple, successive, main events.

    As for the blood diversion thing... Heh. You have an active imagination, M'Dear. Or a faulty memory. ;-)

  15. My favorite part has always been the 'erections lasting longer than four hours' bit. I know that's seriously something to avoid - as in, using it too much will also cause you to lose it - but it just cracks me up every time.

  16. ROFLMAO! Thanks, I needed that!

  17. You're welcome, M'Dear. ;-)

  18. slapp n tikkle?25 June, 2010 15:31

    eh laughter? i think jokes during c*x are great.
    the cialgra ads are bring and stupid, but most ads are.


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