Good, Bad, and Ugly

I probably watch too much TV. An indication of that would be my irritation with many of the advertisements I'm subjected to. I recently convened a Focus Group of One (tm) to evaluate the current crop of TV ads, and the results follow. Here are the criteria for the three categories:

• Good ads are either clever, creative, funny, informative, or interesting. Ideally, a good ad is all of the foregoing and leaves you with a positive impression...or makes you want to buy the product or service advertised.
• Bad ads either insult your intelligence, are preposterous in their presentation, or simply annoy the Hell out of you (me).
• And the Ugly? These are ads that are damaging...either to a class of individuals or society at large.

The Good

1. IBM's "Help Desk" and "King Arthur" series of ads. Funny and entertaining, with a kernal of truth, these ads would make me want to call IBM if I were a CEO or CIO.
2. Boeing's current "Dreamliner" ads. Come to think of it, I've never seen a bad Boeing ad. Great voice-overs and brilliant images.
3. DHL's "Customer Service" ads. Are these true, or what? Taking on FedEx will be difficult, but DHL makes a valid point about customer service. Maybe I'll call them the next time I have to send a package.
4. A.G. Edwards' "Nest Egg" series of ads. Nearly all advertisements for financial services are bad, but Edwards' stuff are the exceptions to the rule. Clever.

The Bad

1. Ditech. Everyone in America who has had a mortgage for over 18 months has refinanced. Ned used to be funny, now he's just annoying. Stop it, already!
2. Ameriprise (We're the new financial consultants from American Express!). Oh-so-wrong, on so many levels. Blatant pandering to the overly-absorbed-with-themselves Boomers, what with the kitschy 60s video clips and "oh weren't you COOL" voice-overs. And they ripped off the Spencer Davis Groups great "Gimmee Some Lovin'," an unforgiveable sin.
3. Audi. That ad where the Audi motors up the ski jump. Most car ads are pretty good (and this one isn't all that bad), but after seeing this ad repeatedly I'm always left thinking "Git 'R' DOWN!"
4. Best Buy. Not too bad, but they ripped off The Cars "Just What I Needed." Cadillac falls into this category, too, what with their Zep-Abuse. Co-opting rock 'n' roll automatically lands you in the "Bad" category.
5. Viagra, Cialis, Levitra. How many awkward conversations have there been in America when an eight year old asks "Mom (Dad), what's EEE-DEE?" For God's sake, why don't they run half hour soft-porn infomercials on CNBC at 2:00 a.m. or advertise in Golf or Field and Stream magazines? Not suitable for prime-time. Ever.

The Ugly

1. James Sokolove and Other Ambulance Chasers. "$253 MILLION Vioxx Award!" Doing their bit for the litigious society. Despicable.
2. "Work From Home." Those ads for websites where you can "make $7,000.00 a month working part-time!" Pretty people standing in front of shiny cars and beautiful estates. The woman who sez "I made so much money I bought a new house!" Honey, you need to make a LOT more than $84K a year to afford a crib like that...
3. Blue Hippo. "No Credit Check!" "Bad Credit OK!" Call this 800-number and pay $1,500.00 for a $500.00 PC. Caveat Emptor.

And the BEST ads I've seen lately? Those "Thank You, America!" ads from "The Other Iraq." See 'em here.