Saturday, May 16, 2009

Today's Bitch, Moan, and Complaint

Aiiieee. Wal-Mart, Saturday afternoon.

I swear to the deity at hand that I'm gonna start doing my shopping after midnite, or at least that portion of my shopping that involves going to Wally-World. That way I'll be able to avoid those fat bitches that stand in the middle of the damned aisle surveying stacks of potato chips, unable to decide between Lay's barbecue or sour cream and onion, oblivious of the line of blocked shoppers forming to either side of them.

Not to mention the clue-free people who think shopping is a social event and also block the aisles by parking their carts adjacent to one another while screaming "Oh... HI! What HAVE you been up to?" while still MORE lines form in front and behind them. God knows they probably haven't seen each other since at least yesterday and MUST catch up right now.
So, you say "Excuse me..." and are rewarded with a "how DARE you interrupt me?" sort of glare. Un-bee-leeb-able, that.

And shall we talk about out-of-control curtain climbers? No, let's NOT. We've all been

So: I'm resolved... it's after midnite for Wal-Mart from now on. The only thing I'll have to deal with then are the floor-moppers and stock-people, and they're a lot more considerate. To say the LEAST.

I feel much better now. That is all.


  1. How right you are. And there are the parking lots with the morons who just have to be one spot closer the the front door and block traffic for 10 minutes. My lovely Bride says that's the only time she ever see's me pissed.

  2. oooh...hope the weather is conducive to a nice long happy hour today :)!

  3. Our parking lot isn't all that bad, Dan, if you discount the idiots that drive down one-way lanes the wrong way. But I've ranted about THAT before. Today was just unbelievable in the irritant space, but I suppose it was a typical Saturday...

    Ann: It's too danged chilly outside (at 51 degrees) for me to have Happy Hour, but that would be balmy... for you! (insert big ol' grin here)

  4. Buck - I feel your pain. Clueless people, hopelessly lost in their own pathetic little worlds. Add in cell phones to the mix and aiieeee is right!

  5. Yep, 51 balmy :)! However, it is 71 here in sunny, NW MT - HOT - Supposed to be 84 tomorrow!!

  6. Oh, Buck. I'd've thought you'd know better than to shop on Hen Saturdays. (And Sundays.) If WT sees this, you know what on me will be eating grass.
    I resolved some time ago to always have a (female) shopping cohort handy when Wild Thing had Sat or Sun shopping at the big box stores. So far, it's working like a charm.

  7. Buck, I rarely hit ANY store on the weekend, or even in the afternoon. Just too many people in my way.
    Glad to hear that you survived a Saturday trip to WW! You are braver than I :)

  8. You know how I feel about people who block the aisle at Wal-Mart. I rarely cuss, but I have been tempted to yell "WTF" when people stop to visit and block the aisle. Early morning weekdays are not so bad.

  9. Glad I hit the walmart yesterday. You must have really been out of something to have gone there on a Saturday. LOL! Even I avoid Saturdays at Walmart at all costs. Sundays before noon aren't that bad, though. Luckily my church is out at 10:45, plenty of time to get there and have my groceries in the truck before the rest of the Bible-thumpers get out. LOL!

  10. Kris: Yeah, there were cell phones in the mix, as well. But that's so common these days it hardly merits comment. Unfortunately.

    Ann: We're supposed to be in the mid-70s tomorrow. Much better, that. But it IS unusual for you to be a lot warmer than us...

    Cat (and Jenny. and Susan.): I normally don't shop on Saturdays. But I was out of a couple of mission-essential items, due to poor planning on my part... and an incomplete shopping list earlier this week.

    Lou: I was sorely tempted as well, especially where Miss Potato Chip was concerned. My only-to-myself thought was "You should be thinking about the relative merits of celery sticks vs. carrot sticks... rather than frickin' potato chips." She'd have probably beat me to death had I said it out loud, given as how she outweighed me by at least 125 pounds.

    Jenny: I often go to the commissary on Sundays... but there are NEVER any crowds there and the patrons are usually pretty considerate, by comparison. Plus I can buy beer at the Class VI store, too. ;-)

  11. Yeah, the beer thing warrants a trip to Walmart on weekdays myself. However, I usually go much earlier in the day, like between 9 and noon and get it over with before crowds.

  12. At Sam's Club today, I was having my special-ish order taken care of at the member counter by a woman (no name tag, unlike her colleague "Elegance" who actually had some of that, along with speediness.) who was multi-tasking. It wasn't clear that I was done, so I waited while she processed another dude. After a moment I asked, "Say, am I done?"

    Without looking up she said, "Yeah, you can go. I -said- 'Have a nice day'".

    Hoo, baby. May the deity-at-hand send her some goodness soon. She needs it.

    When I walked into SuperTarget a moment later, I saw two cops escorting out a dude whose hands were joined behind his back not because he wanted to look like Prince Charles. I guess he got busted for standing too long in front of the chips. People here are sensitive about loitering by the junk food :-)

  13. Speaking of old ladies in stores, check out this old blog from my pal Dave T.

  14. It's everywhere - no sense of manners left anywhere anymore...

    And, don't smile at them - they think you are going to attack...

    BUT --- you can talk out loud to yourself in the store (the only way to hear yourself over their cell phone banter) - they are so self obsessed they barely notice and if they do, they think you're on a cell phone...

  15. This is so funny! I'll bitch and moan right along side of you...

  16. :D

    I do all my food shopping on-line and with delivery now. That's the only way I can handle it at all. I feel your pain.

  17. Jenny: Most days I'm still in bed when you're at Wally-World. ;-)

    Phil: Surly help is another of my pet peeves, as well. And I don't mind people loitering in front of the junk food, as long as they don't BLOCK THE DANGED AISLE!! That should be a misdemeanor at the very least, and a felony for multiple offenses.

    Thanks for the link... that was good!

    Cynthia: You're right... inconsideration is rampant, and more's the pity.

    Crysti: I know Wally-World in Clovis can be just as bad, if not worse. I used to shop there often.

  18. alison: Ah... the luxury of Big-City Life!! I remember that... coz I used to use the US on-line food service Web Van when I lived in SFO. It was a little pricey, but worth it, in my eyes.

  19. Oh all of these posts are so funny, you guys ... and JUST HOW I feel at Walmart listening to cell phone conversations and getting really steamed with people and carts blocking the aisles and all the reunions ("Oh it's so great so see you!!!") going on. When I am in Walmart, I want to get in and get out ... so we nearly always go on a weekday - it's still bad, but not weekend bad.

  20. Buck, dear heart: chill. I know it's a bummer, but the best time to go shopping at WalMart is around 5 AM on Monday (look for big mark-downs on beef). Actually anytime on Monday. But always on Monday. Monday is the best time to hit the malls, too, if need be.

    And when the ladies have the aisle blocked, use some flattery man. Good grief---have you forgotten how to sweet talk? Try, "hey little lady, can you let this old saddle tramp squeeze through---thanks Missus." If you tip your hat too, she'll probably faint right there in the aisle :)

  21. Sharon: I agree on the "get in - get out" thing. That's my MO, too.

    Deborah: You're right, you know. That said, I was never much of a sweet-talker... one of my biggest failings in life. ;-)

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