MFC

I just made that up. It stands for “Moonbat, First Class.” A couple of few days ago I asked the rhetorical question “What the HELL is wrong with these people?” vis-à-vis the Democrat Party and Obama securing the party’s nomination for president of these United States. And then, yesterday… in a very mystical way (well, not really. memeorandum ain’t all that mystical), along comes San Fran Chronicle columnist Mark Morford with the answer to end all answers. Obama’s a Lightworker. Really. Or at least Morford thinks so. I’ll quote:

I find I'm having this discussion, this weird little debate, more and more, with colleagues, with readers, with liberals and moderates and miserable, deeply depressed Republicans and spiritually amped persons of all shapes and stripes and I'm having it in particular with those who seem confused, angry, unsure, thoroughly nonplussed, as they all ask me the same thing: What the hell's the big deal about Obama?

I, of course, have an answer. Sort of.

Warning: If you are a rigid pragmatist/literalist, itchingly evangelical, a scowler, a doubter, a burned-out former '60s radical with no hope left, or are otherwise unable or unwilling to parse alternative New Age speak, click away right now, because you ain't gonna like this one little bit.

Ready? It goes likes this:

Barack Obama isn't really one of us. Not in the normal way, anyway.

This is what I find myself offering up more and more in response to the whiners and the frowners and to those with broken or sadly dysfunctional karmic antennae - or no antennae at all - to all those who just don't understand and maybe even actively recoil against all this chatter about Obama's aura and feel and MLK/JFK-like vibe.

To them I say, all right, you want to know what it is? The appeal, the pull, the ethereal and magical thing that seems to enthrall millions of people from all over the world, that keeps opening up and firing into new channels of the culture normally completely unaffected by politics?

No, it's not merely his youthful vigor, or handsomeness, or even inspiring rhetoric. It is not fresh ideas or cool charisma or the fact that a black president will be historic and revolutionary in about a thousand different ways. It is something more. Even Bill Clinton, with all his effortless, winking charm, didn't have what Obama has, which is a sort of powerful luminosity, a unique high-vibration integrity.

Dismiss it all you like, but I've heard from far too many enormously smart, wise, spiritually attuned people who've been intuitively blown away by Obama's presence - not speeches, not policies, but sheer presence - to say it's just a clever marketing ploy, a slick gambit carefully orchestrated by hotshot campaign organizers who, once Obama gets into office, will suddenly turn from perky optimists to vile soul-sucking lobbyist whores, with Obama as their suddenly evil, cackling overlord.

Oh Shit, Oh Dear. I’d long suspected my karmic antennae were on the fritz, but I don’t have a clue as to how to get them back in fine working order, like they used to be…say back in 1976, or so. You know: when I voted for Jimmuh, who I really believed was sort of the Godfather of Change!… to mix my metaphors. Nope, it’s apparent my karmic antennae are hopelessly out of whack and will forever remain so. OTOH, perhaps I’m a “rigid pragmatist/literalist.” I’m certainly not “itchingly evangelical,” nor am I a “burned-out former ‘60s radical,” the last being close, but no ceegar. It’s hard to be a radical while you’re in uniform. My superiors wouldn’t have taken kindly to that. I was just a garden variety moonbat. Kinda like Morford, except Dear Mark is at least a Moonbat, First Class if not a frickin’ Generalissimo d'Moonbat. More:

Here's where it gets gooey. Many spiritually advanced people I know (not coweringly religious, mind you, but deeply spiritual) identify Obama as a Lightworker, that rare kind of attuned being who has the ability to lead us not merely to new foreign policies or health care plans or whatnot, but who can actually help usher in a new way of being on the planet, of relating and connecting and engaging with this bizarre earthly experiment. These kinds of people actually help us evolve. They are philosophers and peacemakers of a very high order, and they speak not just to reason or emotion, but to the soul.The unusual thing is, true Lightworkers almost never appear on such a brutal, spiritually demeaning stage as national politics. This is why Obama is so rare. And this why he is so often compared to Kennedy and Martin Luther King Jr., to those leaders in our culture whose stirring vibrations still resonate throughout our short history.

Are you rolling your eyes and scoffing? Fine by me. But you gotta wonder, why has, say, the JFK legacy lasted so long, is so vital to our national identity? Yes, the assassination canonized his legend. The Kennedy family is our version of royalty. But there's something more. Those attuned to energies beyond the literal meanings of things, these people say JFK wasn't assassinated for any typical reason you can name. It's because he was just this kind of high-vibration being, a peacemaker, at odds with the war machine, the CIA, the dark side. And it killed him.

Ah. So that’s it! Obama is gonna help us evolve! How’d I miss that, anyway? It can’t only be my malfunctioning karmic antennae, coz this appears to be REALLY BIG! But wait. If Obama is speaking to the souls of all his supporters, how in the Hell could I miss that? There must be larger issues at play here. Maybe I’ve been assimilated by The Dark Side and didn’t even know it. That must be it. I was a life-long cog in the War Machine and I still respect it. I think the CIA is pretty cool, not evil. So... I must be impervious to messages sent directly to my soul. Either that or I don’t have one (a soul) and I don’t think that’s likely.

But, Hey. It’s a minor Good Thing Morford has done here. I asked a question and Morford’s fully-functional, highly-tuned karmic antennae picked it up (all the way out in San Francisco, too! He’s got GREAT karmic antennae!) and he gave me a lengthy answer.

Who knew, eh? Well…millions, I guess. Obama’s still the nominee. And moonbats run amok throughout the land. God Save Us.

Oh. By the way. You, too, can be a Lightworker. It's easy. Just go here and sign up.

More at The Corner, Outside the Beltway, and elsewhere.