Wednesday, February 13, 2008

Merchandise YOU Can Use. Maybe.

An occasional correspondent sends this along, and I thought you might find some of these products useful…
Like this:
Just the thing if you find yourself in a hot ‘n’ heavy political discussion with a ‘bat. Or maybe your mother-in-law. Pull this out, offer ‘em a piece…and things should be all over but the shouting, eh? Well, discounting the possibility of a beating about your head and shoulders, if the discussion you're attempting to end is really with your M-I-L.
―:☺:―
This lil item on your immediate left, on the other hand, is something I have little or no use for these days. Assuming, of course, the product is meant to be a shared experience, as the packaging would seem to indicate.
You, Gentle Reader, are probably in a much different boat (and arguably a much better boat) than I.

―:☺:―
I might could change my…ummm… situation, were I to buy a ton of this stuff on the right.
Ya think?
Nah. Probably not. I probably would just get the sh!t slapped out of me, were I to offer a piece of "Get Lucky" gum to some unsuspecting sweet young older thang.
―:☺:―
And finally, I have absolutely NO use for the product on the left, nor do I know anyone (nowadays) that would. You have to squint to read it, but the gum comes in "Fresh Fruit Flavor." Heh.
I used to know folks that would buy a ton of this stuff, not that there's anything inherently wrong with that. But I left SFO five years ago… ya know?
All this merchandise and much, much more...available here.
Really.
Update: ...later that same evening. Dunno how I missed this, but I did. And I just had to rectify the oversight, of course. I might get one or two of these non-permanent tattoos. They're right up my alley.
Gnarly. Yes.

6 comments:

  1. Buck, now I'm going to keep chuckling and visualizing you trying that 'Get Lucky' gum in Portales.

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  2. I have a box that held some of that gum here on my computer desk. Something about being a bitch. Can't remember who gave it to me, though. It was delicious.

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  3. Lin now yuou've got me started laughing about Buck and the "Get Lucky" gum! ("Hi, I'm Buck ... care for a piece of gum?")

    If I were to consider any of these products, it would be the "Let's Pretend I Give a Shit" gum and the elderly tatooes. LOL.

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  4. Lin: Tell the truth, Girl. What you're really visualizing is me getting the shit slapped out of myself, right? ;-)

    Phlegmmy: The same company markets a line of "True Bitch" products. Kinda neat, and I know women who'd qualify as recipients, in both literal and campy senses. Bu it won't be ME passing that stuff out. See above.

    Sharon: I'm definitely buying the Elderly tats! And I might buy some of that "Give a Shit" gum, too.

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  5. Okay, I'll 'fess then. Yeah, it was that but also the thought of some big ol' cowgirl chasing you around the cantina, intent on branding ya. Yee-haw! Maybe those elder tats are much safer toys.

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  6. Lin sez: ...it was that but also the thought of some big ol' cowgirl chasing you around the cantina, intent on branding ya. Yee-haw!

    Have you put a tail on me?

    ReplyDelete

Just be polite... that's all I ask.