Thursday, May 24, 2007

Still Catching Up...

It’s tough to fall behind…and it’s even tougher to catch up! But, one does what one must and the process of catching up on my daily reads reminds me of the punch line from that ol’ joke about how one eats an elephant: “one bite at a time.” I’m not even half-way there yet, but I’m pretty much caught up where it matters, which is to say among my blog-buddies. Don’t ask about the biggies…I’ve barely scratched the surface.

However. Here’s something from one of the Big Dogs that’s a great read (if you haven’t already done so): Gerard’s “The Declaration of Non-Dependency.”

It has come to our attention that we haven't really been at the top of your Christmas list for some time now. Like some spouse that has become too used to having her good life paid for by a husband's work and sweat, you've decided you "need your space."

And we are here to give it to you. Politely if possible, but with both barrels if necessary. So pay attention.

[…]

You need to have a little time to develop some self-reliance. Get that old self-esteem back that only comes with paying for your own defense.

We realize now that in protecting you and the world's markets, and keeping everybody out there from just killing everybody else, we've robbed you of the chance to determine your own destiny. For many of you, your destiny seems to be death, slavery, boredom, buttplugs or some bizarre combination of all four. Hey, we guess you've gotta just go for the gusto.

Therefore, as Americans, we've decided to take a break and bag the world for about two years so you can sort things out without our annoying presence.

Think of it as our sabbatical from your "present difficulties."

Please note that during this time the following policies will prevail:
What follows is a list of ten conditions that will apply world-wide during the two-year American hiatus from world affairs. My personal favorite is this one:
We're sort of tuckered out here and not a little bit cranky because of it, so please don't do anything that interrupts our picnics and naps. Should any of you take it in your little pin-heads to bug us, please understand that we reserve the right to, well, "over-react" and give you a live demo of how to turn sand into glass in your own backyard. (See below) Learn the inner meaning of our temporary national motto: Noli me tangere.
Gerard gives good satire. Do go! (And I should also note that Gerard, being one of the foremost essayists of our time, has much, much more of interest at his place. “The Hive and the Town” is spectacular, IMHO.)

Here’s an example of some older stuff I’ve found while catching-up that I’m gonna take to heart (should I ever decide to “get back in the game”): “Rachel’s Helpful Guide to Online Dating: For Men.” Actually, I’ve pretty much known all this stuff for some time now. An excerpt:
Almost all of the single people I know use online dating services; the taboo seems to have completely lifted in the last few years. Because, would it really be better to meet men in bars? Eww. Anyway, so a few months ago, I put a profile on Yahoo! personals just to see what would happen. Then I spent some time searching through all the other profiles, and basically...oh my GOD.

Of the roughly 400 "contacts" I got in the first month, I immediately deleted 95% of them with a cringe on my face because their profiles were just so apocalyptically BAD, but that made me feel kinda mean (really - only a little), and I thought to myself, Self, maybe you can HELP these poor bastards. So, this is for any single guys who are trying to meet women who are both sane and intelligent...
And a laundry list follows. It never hurts to review.

Today’s Pic: The Cache La Poudre Canyon – Again. I’ve already gone on at great length about the beauty and wonderfulness of the canyon, but here’s another view. And did I tell you the road was just made for bikes? Why, yes, I think I did!

This past Monday, on Colorado Route 14.

8 comments:

  1. Rachel was hysterical.... read a few more posts too. Now I'll just have to remember to go back and read more. Gotta go get some lunch before it's too late to go to lunch and I decide to skip it.

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  2. Ya know, I thought I felt a ripple in the blogosphere recently. Rachel Lucas is BAAAACCCKKK!

    She IS hysterical - she blogged for a while as the Blue Eyed Infidel and her rants are legendary. SO happy she's back on the 'Net...

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  3. Those pictures of the canyon remind me of the time we rode to southern Hokkaido (Peiku I think) for that all Hokkaido motocross race. We rode through that long valley with the river. What a great trip that was. Bye the way, to all Buck’s readers, Buck won third place in that race. The first place winner was a factory rider for Yamaha and second went to one of our teammates who is gone now.

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  4. The canyon is beautiful - reminds me of Cimarron Canyon on northern NM. Third Place - Wow!

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  5. Laurie and Kris: Yetserday was the first time I'd read Rachel, but I will go back. The online dating thing struck me as funny because I've been there, done that. Not as she described, though.

    Dan: That was a great trip, and if I'm not mistaken, wasn't that where we got flashed (and more) in the public bath? And to further enlighten everyone, that third place finish was the BEST I ever did. I had a lot of fun racing, but I wasn't very good at it.

    Lou: You're right...the two canyon roads are similar, but the Poudre river canyon is about three to four times as long. That was one of the best things about it... ;-)

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  6. The place that we got flashed was that resort town just south of Wakkanai. We went there to ride that fire trail, the nasty one, the one that went through the swamp that we umm, fell into. We stopped at the resort that had the hot mineral spring bath. The one that we got hollered at because we were floating on our backs and apparently that was not good. That’s when we got flashed by the girls on the other side of the wall. Peiku was the town that had the mud race on the side of the hill. When we got to the hotel the owner washed all our bikes, took his car out of the garage and put our bikes in. It was the town where we ate all the food in the restaurant and they had to send out for more food and beer. I think they made their whole years income on us. Then we went looking for a hot bath and wound up in a family’s house and the father wanted us to use the family hot tub. Yep, a road trip to remember. I still have the newspaper clipping of us.

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  7. You amaze me, Dan. I wish I had 10% of your memory. But now that you've laid it all out for me...yeah, it does come back. How do you do that?

    I was just talking to SN1 about that whole experience, and the memories came flooding back, thanks to the jog you just gave me. Amazing.

    And on another note...do you have a scanner? Coz I'd surely like to have a copy of that newspaper clipping!!

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  8. I will scan the clipping and send it to you.

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Just be polite... that's all I ask.