Still Catching Up...

It’s tough to fall behind…and it’s even tougher to catch up! But, one does what one must and the process of catching up on my daily reads reminds me of the punch line from that ol’ joke about how one eats an elephant: “one bite at a time.” I’m not even half-way there yet, but I’m pretty much caught up where it matters, which is to say among my blog-buddies. Don’t ask about the biggies…I’ve barely scratched the surface.

However. Here’s something from one of the Big Dogs that’s a great read (if you haven’t already done so): Gerard’s “The Declaration of Non-Dependency.”

It has come to our attention that we haven't really been at the top of your Christmas list for some time now. Like some spouse that has become too used to having her good life paid for by a husband's work and sweat, you've decided you "need your space."

And we are here to give it to you. Politely if possible, but with both barrels if necessary. So pay attention.

[…]

You need to have a little time to develop some self-reliance. Get that old self-esteem back that only comes with paying for your own defense.

We realize now that in protecting you and the world's markets, and keeping everybody out there from just killing everybody else, we've robbed you of the chance to determine your own destiny. For many of you, your destiny seems to be death, slavery, boredom, buttplugs or some bizarre combination of all four. Hey, we guess you've gotta just go for the gusto.

Therefore, as Americans, we've decided to take a break and bag the world for about two years so you can sort things out without our annoying presence.

Think of it as our sabbatical from your "present difficulties."

Please note that during this time the following policies will prevail:

What follows is a list of ten conditions that will apply world-wide during the two-year American hiatus from world affairs. My personal favorite is this one:

We're sort of tuckered out here and not a little bit cranky because of it, so please don't do anything that interrupts our picnics and naps. Should any of you take it in your little pin-heads to bug us, please understand that we reserve the right to, well, "over-react" and give you a live demo of how to turn sand into glass in your own backyard. (See below) Learn the inner meaning of our temporary national motto: Noli me tangere.

Gerard gives good satire. Do go! (And I should also note that Gerard, being one of the foremost essayists of our time, has much, much more of interest at his place. “The Hive and the Town” is spectacular, IMHO.)

Here’s an example of some older stuff I’ve found while catching-up that I’m gonna take to heart (should I ever decide to “get back in the game”): “Rachel’s Helpful Guide to Online Dating: For Men.” Actually, I’ve pretty much known all this stuff for some time now. An excerpt:

Almost all of the single people I know use online dating services; the taboo seems to have completely lifted in the last few years. Because, would it really be better to meet men in bars? Eww. Anyway, so a few months ago, I put a profile on Yahoo! personals just to see what would happen. Then I spent some time searching through all the other profiles, and basically...oh my GOD.

Of the roughly 400 "contacts" I got in the first month, I immediately deleted 95% of them with a cringe on my face because their profiles were just so apocalyptically BAD, but that made me feel kinda mean (really - only a little), and I thought to myself, Self, maybe you can HELP these poor bastards. So, this is for any single guys who are trying to meet women who are both sane and intelligent...

And a laundry list follows. It never hurts to review.

Today’s Pic: The Cache La Poudre Canyon – Again. I’ve already gone on at great length about the beauty and wonderfulness of the canyon, but here’s another view. And did I tell you the road was just made for bikes? Why, yes, I think I did!

This past Monday, on Colorado Route 14.