Wal-Mart, Check Out Lanes, and Drugs

I woke up from a Tylenol Cold and Flu – Severe induced sleep around 11:30, raided the fridge, ate, and washed the day’s dishes. I then sat myself down at 12:15 to put up a post, clicked on “Create” and… nothing. The "create" page wouldn't load. So I’m writing in Word and will publish later, if and when Blogger comes back around. It may be a weekly maintenance period, Sunday nights are favored for this sort of activity.

So. Wal-Mart. I like the self-checkout lanes. I could walk right up to the self-checkout lanes, do my business, and get the Hell out of Dodge for about a month after they installed them in the P-Town Wally-World. In other words: no line. Things have changed; I had to wait in line for a self-checkout today. Technophobia has been cured in Portales. Well, sorta. You know how it is when you’re behind a doofus at the ATM? As in, the guy who has no idea how much money is in his checking account, and has to check his balance TWICE ("Hmm. That can't be right...") before unsuccessfully trying to withdraw 50 dollars, and then settles for 20? It’s an order of magnitude worse in a self-checkout line, especially if the customer is buying produce, i.e., no bar code. Take my word for it. I'd never make it as an assistant manager at Wal-Mart; my ability to deal with stupidity is pretty limited and my lack of tact is renowned. Bad juju when dealing with the public.

I had to get a supervisor’s approval before I could complete my checkout today. Why? Because I bought not one, but TWO bottles of Cold and Flu – Severe. One daytime, one nighttime. Makes sense, right? You’d think I was trying to buy a Schedule One Controlled Substance instead of cold medicine. It seems people have found out you can get by high by quadrupling the dose, or snorting it, or shooting it up, or something. Somewhere, in some State or Federal database, a small entry was made today: “Buck Pennington, Tylenol Cold and Flu – Severe, two bottles, 01/08/2006.” Sheesh.

You really should “feed a cold.” The Beeb sez so. I always get that stuff mixed up, never remembering if I should feed or starve myself, or both, when I’m ill. But thanks to the Internets, and AlGore, I can find the correct answer in .02 seconds. That AlGore is one smart fella, even if he does get his Unums and his Pluribuses confused.

Tylenol Cold and Flu – Severe really is good stuff. The running tap that is my right sinus cavity was shut OFF about a half-hour after taking the first dose, my head opened up, my throat became smooth and friendly, and my cough disappeared. I slept peacefully for a full six hours. Yea, verily: I histamine no more! No wonder TCF-S is a controlled substance.

I feel something like Navy guys must feel when doing "port and starboard" watches...six on, six off, rinse, repeat. Having a cold means I sleep a lot but sleep irregularly. My circadian rhythms are hosed to begin with, this cold will only make things worse. I know: bitch, bitch, bitch. I do it because I CAN.