Wednesday, August 20, 2014

Sometimes It Bees That Way

The post title is a quote from a former co-worker and friend whom I respected.  Whenever this woman encountered an unpleasant situation or something that was beyond her control the lady would shrug her shoulders, smile, and say "sometimes it bees that way."  I found myself sayin' that a lot yesterday. 

Explanations are in order.  These photos will help:

My Buddy John, standing in the kitchen of my house in Rochester, NY.  New Years Eve, 1998 - 99.

Close-up of the fridge behind John.  The arrow is pointing to "8-19."
Yesterday was an anniversary of sorts, a black-letter day, in that it was 16 years ago to the day that The Second Mrs. Pennington walked out the door, changing my life and the way I use personal pronouns forever.  "We," "us," and "ours" became "me," "I," and "mine."  That was the least of the changes, to put it mildly.  But let's not go there.

Back to yesterday.  I don't usually remember "8/19" and the date is not a day I would celebrate (heh) even if I did.  I stumbled upon the pic you see above quite by accident yesterday morning while searching the archives for something entirely different.  It's said you "can't un-see something once it's been seen" and that was the case with this pic.  Brain cells were jogged, synapses fired and linked, very unpleasant scenes from the past began a gory B-movie re-run, and I've seen THAT gotdamned movie too many times.  To quote Dylan: "I know every scene by heart."  My day was pretty much toast right then and there but we continued to continue, having little or no choice in the matter.

And then... in the afternoon we got an e-mail from TSMP and had a short call-and-response conversation on a health insurance issue with SN3.  I rarely hear from the woman... maybe once or twice a year, on average... and yesterday was most definitely NOT the day for her to barge into my life unannounced.  Another log on the fire, which went from a few stray flames to something pretty toasty.  And so we continued to continue, with an extra-long outdoor After Dinner Whiskey Hour while listening to NPR (in lieu of any sort of music that would make things worse).  Not a bad evening, all told.


There's one skill in life I haven't learned and that skill is the ability to let bygones be bygones.  The Deity At Hand knows I've tried in many, many ways... none of which seem to work... and we won't go further than that.  The bottom line?  Yesterday was not my day.

Ah, well.  Sometimes it bees that way.


  1. Just the thought of seeing my first wife used to tie me up in knots.
    I would avoid it at all costs, mostly to my sanity.
    I'm not sure how I'd respond today, but I am fairly certain it would depend entirely on her actions and not my perceptions.
    Sometime I might actually explore that old dynamic on my blog... if I am really, really lacking for a topic.

    1. Dealing with ex-wives is always dicey. And I have TWO to deal with.

    2. You mentioned email below...
      That would have easily resolved a lot of issues from my end.

    3. E-mail has its drawbacks, too. Sarcasm doesn't work in e-mail AT ALL.

  2. The thing about women, is they have "nag" as a chromosome. It can't be undone.

    My advice is to expect it, and then when it comes, say something like "your diet isn't working"... or on the phone: "hold on dear, my girlfriend wants to hug me, there, oh, what were you saying?"...

    1. I can't speak on the phone with my ex-. We communicate exclusively via e-mail.


Just be polite... that's all I ask.