Friday, July 11, 2014

Catching the Early Bus

Gotta go over to The Big(ger) CityTM to get The Tart's oil changed this morning... so we're gonna be out the door early in order to be first in line at the dealer's service department.  They don't do appointments for oil changes but said changes are FREE, so there's that.  In the meantime, here's a lil sumthin' My Buddy Ed In Florida sent along:

Know Your State Motto


Alabama: Hell Yes, We Have Electricity
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Alaska: 11,623 Eskimos Can't Be Wrong!
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Arizona: But It's A Dry Heat
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Arkansas: Literacy Ain't Everything
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California: By 30, Our Women Have More Plastic
Than Your Honda
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Colorado: If You Don't Ski, Don't Bother
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Connecticut: Like Massachusetts, Only The
Kennedy's Don't Own It Yet
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Delaware: We Really Do Like The Chemicals In Our
Water
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Florida: Ask Us About Our Grandkids
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Georgia: We Put The "Fun" In Fundamentalist
Extremism
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Hawaii: Haka Tiki Mou Sha'ami Leeki Toru
(Death To Mainland Scum, Leave Your Money)
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Idaho: More Than Just Potatoes ...
Well Okay, We're Not, But The Potatoes Are Real Good
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Illinois: Please Don't Pronounce the "S"
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Indiana: 2 Billion Years Tidal Wave Free
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Iowa: We Do Amazing Things With Corn
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Kansas: First Of The Rectangle States
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Kentucky: Five Million People; Fifteen Last Names
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Louisiana:
We're Not ALL Drunken Cajun Wackos, But That's Our Tourism Campaign
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Maine: We're Really Cold, But We Have Cheap Lobster
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Maryland: If You Can Dream It, We Can Tax It
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Massachusetts: Our Taxes Are Lower Than Sweden's (For Most Tax Brackets)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Michigan: First Line Of Defense From The Canadians
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Minnesota: 10,000 Lakes... And 10,000,000,000,000 Mosquitoes
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Mississippi: Come And Feel Better About Your Own State
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Missouri: Your Federal Flood Relief Tax Dollars At Work
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Montana: Land Of The Big Sky, The Unabomber, Right-wing Crazies, and Little Else
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Nebraska: Ask About Our State Motto Contest
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Nevada: Hookers and Poker!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
New Hampshire: Go Away And Leave Us Alone
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New Jersey: You Want A ##$%##! Motto? I Got Yer ##$%##! Motto Right Here!
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New Mexico: Lizards Make Excellent Pets
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New York: You Have The Right To Remain Silent; You Have The Right To an Attorney
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North Carolina: Tobacco Is A Vegetable
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
North Dakota: We Really Are One Of The 50 States!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Ohio: At Least We're Not Michigan
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Oklahoma: Like The Play, Only No Singing
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Oregon: Spotted Owl... It's What's For Dinner...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Pennsylvania: Cook With Coal
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Rhode Island: We're Not REALLY An Island
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South Carolina: Remember The Civil War? We Didn’t Actually Surrender
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South Dakota: Closer Than North Dakota
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Tennessee: The Educashun State
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Texas: Si' Hablo Ing'les (Yes, I Speak English)
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Utah: Our Jesus Is Better Than Your Jesus
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Vermont: Yep
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Virginia: Who Says Government Stiffs And Slack jaw Yokels Don't Mix?
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Washington: Help! Nerds And Slackers Overrun Us!
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Washington, D.C.: Wanna Be Mayor?
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West Virginia: One Big Happy Family... Really!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Wisconsin: Come Cut The Cheese
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Wyoming: Where Men Are Men ... and the sheep are scared
There's a lil truth in all of those, methinks.  I just wish whoever wrote this would have come up with sumthin' better for New Mexico... after all, we DID give the world its first nuclear detonation.  And CHILES!

7 comments:

  1. Actually Rhode Island really IS an island.

    The full name of the state is (ahem) "The State of Rhode Island and Providence Plantations." Rhode Island proper is also known as Aquidneck Island, which is also known as Newport County. Also known (to the denizens) as "The Island." Their motto is "If we have to cross a bridge we won't go there."

    So "The Island" is the Rhode Island part of the state and Providence Plantations is everything else. You may well imagine the effect that last part of the name has on Libtards.

    Just thought your readers should know.

    And yes, our taxes are worse than Massachusetts. Seriously.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You prolly just tripled my knowledge about Rhode Island, in one comment.

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  2. Them daggone Canucks are so bloody NICE and all. . . somebody's gotta keep an eye on 'em. . .

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    Replies
    1. I miss defending the Windsor - Deetroit border. I used to make sub-rosa runs over to Windsor every so often to collect samples of shoddy Commie exports from Cuba, just for analysis' sake. SOMEONE had to do it.

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    2. And of course, legal drinking age is 19 in Ontario, 21 in Michigan. Back in the days when you could just saunter across the border without a passport, my older kids invariably spent their 19th birthdays in Windsor.

      I'm not the aficionado of fine see-gars that you are, but I could never resist picking up a Havana when I was in Canada. I'm prolly not nearly sophistimacated enough to really appreciate what I had, but I do know that I paid a pretty penny just to say I'd had one. . .

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    3. Cuban cigars are HIGHLY over-rated and I think I've gone on about that in other places on the blog. I seriously doubt I'd still be buying Cubans if I still lived in Dee-troit (contrary to what I said, above), mainly coz the offerings from various and sundry cigar manufacturers equal or exceed the stuff the Cubans export. But there IS that caché associated with Cuban cigars and part and parcel of that was bein' able to offer a Cuban to yer buds. I'm guilty of that.

      As for the drinking age... The Second Mrs. Pennington grew up in that magical time when the Michigan drinking age was 18. She was fond of sayin' that she didn't fall victim to that freshman drinking disease when she went off to college, mainly coz she went through it in high school. Benefits, and all that. :-)

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  3. This comment has been removed by the author.

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Just be polite... that's all I ask.