Wednesday, October 31, 2012

Sho'nuff

So I told all y'all earlier that I didn't buy any candy this year, given my nine-year track record of ZERO trick-or-treaters.  So... there I was... sitting on the verandah, minding my own bid'niz, sippin' on some Woodford Reserve, and drawin' ever so often on a Tabak Especial when I was accosted by a mini-coven of witches-in-training, none of whom older than five tender years, yet all of whom cute as the proverbial bug.  

"TRICK OR TREAT!" they yell... in unison.

Oops, we are caught out.  So what's a boy to do?

I have a pewter tankard full of quarters left over from laundromat days, so I gave each of the diminutive witches a quarter and let it go at that.  And they were all smiles after my initial "Sorry, ladies... no candy."

Immediately after they walked away into the night I got to thinkin'... was I too cheap?  What does a quarter buy these days, anyhoo? I don't eat candy, never buy it (except in bags for trick-or-treaters, in previous years), so I don't really KNOW.  It didn't help matters that my neighbor came home shortly after our encounter and confirmed the fact one cannot buy a damned thang these days with a lousy quarter, but to her everlasting credit she said "a quarter feels like five bucks to kids that young."  That might be so, but it didn't assuage my guilt in the least.

Sigh.  More bourbon, please.

19 comments:

  1. Guess you coulda passed out cigars, but.....

    Naaahh.

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  2. I THOUGHT... however briefly... of offering the Moms a shot o' bourbon. They weren't bad lookin', at all.

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  3. HAHA, from now on Buck will be known as that skin-flint Scrooge McDuck of a neighbor-hood geezer...like they used to say about Chicago Bears owner George Halas; "He throws around nickles like they were man-hole covers." LOL

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    1. I'm already the neighborhood geezer.

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  4. Buck, we had exactly ONE ring of the bell at near quittin' time.

    The three little monsters walked away with about 8 dollars worth of candy each.

    Mom wasn't bad looking, either...

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    1. Is one ring unusual for ya? One visit was highly unusual for me.

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  5. Agree with Lou - at their age a quarter is a huge sum of money. Our town cancelled Halloween due to Hurricane Sandy; when they issued the announcement the entire town was without power. They were going to have a centralized event at the high school - Trunk or Treat they were calling it. I guess the 50 or so kids who came to our house last night didn't get the memo. Well that and the fact that, quite surprisingly, the majority of the power in town was restored by 9:00pm Tuesday night. Thankfully I had bought candy 2 weeks earlier...

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    1. I'm glad your power has been restored, Kris. That's great good news. And the fact you were ahead of the curve with the candy.

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  6. As a Father of a four year-old girl, I can attest that the quarter was sufficient. It's all just toys to them, anyway, and if you're the only quarter they got last night, they'll remember it more than they remember any of the candy.

    Also speaking as a the father of a four year-old girl, my thanks go out to you and every other person, sitting at home, who had candy or quarters or smiles for the children. Trick-or-treating is a two-way street, so thanks to everyone who helps the kids have fun.

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    1. Ah. I used to LOVE Halloween back in Former Happy Days, especially the very young. It wasn't a burden at all... it was a treat. As was my sole visit last night.

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  7. Like Bag Blog said earlier, a quarter was good enough IMHO. My guess is a lot of parents and kids would appreciate that more than candy (for safety reasons as well as nutrition). We haven't had any Halloween visits for the past three decades since our son was a kid back in the '70s, and usually only three or four then. We enjoyed the few kids that came by but one year we got "rolled." Not much fun. Our street, a cul de sac, is sorta in the country and there are probably no more than 35 or 40 family homes in all. My guess is that most of the kids on the street are all grown up now. We miss the kids in the costumes but the getting rolled stuff not so much.

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    1. There aren't any kids in my immediate neighborhood either, Dan. That's OK in some ways, not so much in others. Is "rolled" like being Tee-Pee'd... i.e., having rolls o' toilet paper thrown through your trees?

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    2. Yeah, that's it. Never heard "Tee-Peed" though I can see why it could be called that. Good old American English regional variations. I love 'em and hope they don't disappear.

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    3. I heard the term Tee-Peed" when I lived in SoCal as a kid and again in Michigan as a young (?) adult. But, yeah... regional language: I hope it NEVER dies.

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  8. I ended up in the same boat as you,Buck. Fortunately I had some fortune cookies from Chinese delivery handy and sort of apologized for the lack of candy when I handed them out to which one of the little ones responded "Oh, I LOVE fortune cookies" and they all thanked me very much. How polite was that?

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    1. How polite was that?

      I would expect nothing less from Canadian children. ;-)

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Just be polite... that's all I ask.