Friday, February 24, 2012

Weird Stuff You Read In the New York Times

Or weird stuff you MIGHT read in the NYT, if you gave a shit.  Apparently there was this article in Thursday's Times that claims living alone makes you strange.  And the article apparently focused on wimmen, rather than men that live alone.  I didn't actually GO there, choosing to read what Althouse and The Awl had to say on the subject.  Plus the comments at both places, of course.  I liked what The Awl had to say, seein' as how they read between the lines and posted a list of stuff that either makes you weird or contributes to pending strangeness.  Their list (and my comments, in parens):
1) Standing naked in kitchen at 2 a.m. eating peanut butter from jar.  (Been there, done that.  At much earlier times than 0200 hrs, too.) 

2) Singing Journey Rolling Stones songs in (the) shower. (The Awl sez: Especially "Lovin', Touchin', Squeezin'." That's the jam.  I say EVERY-freakin'-thang Journey ever recorded sucks.  Big time.  The ONLY exception is when the crowd at The Joe joins in on the line "born and raised in SOUTH DEE-TROIT" at hockey games... and that's three bags full o' awesome.  I join in on those occasions.)

3) Working 24 hours straight for days on end.  (Not lately, but I did that when I was single and gainfully employed.)
4) Letting (the) apartment fall apart on you and not washing dishes.  ("Fall apart" is entirely relative.  I wash dishes twice a week, or whenever I run out of coffee cups and/or beer glasses.)
5) Having nobody care.  (I'm not quite sure what this means.  If it means no one really cares about the WAY I live, then yeah... I agree.  Otherwise?  Ya got me.)
6) Wearing specially designated home-wear that you change when company comes over.  (Not applicable, other than lounging around nekkid in the summer.)
7) Not closing the bathroom door. (Awl comment: Well, at least for just peeing.) (My comment: what's the point?  If you're alone, you're ALONE.  Don't you close a door to get privacy?)
8) Talking aloud to pets.  (Did that, too... when I had pets.  Now I talk aloud to myself sometimes.  Well... a lot, actually.)
9) Subsisting largely on cereal, nuts or seeds.  (Yes, occasionally.)
10) Staying up working on computer until 4 or 5 in the morning.  (Working?  No.  Playing?  Yes.)
11) Having a baked potato for a meal.  (Can't say I've ever done that; I rarely use my oven.  But I have eaten an entire bag of potato chips and called that dinner.)
OK... I guess I'm weird by the NYT's standards.  But **I** feel perfectly normal, and that's all that really counts, innit?

10 comments:

  1. Back to that Normal Norman thang - what is normal? I've done lots of those things, and I live with someone. I have known some loners who thought (believed, dreamed, fantasized) in their minds long enough that it became a reality in their minds. That was strange.

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  2. Ditto what Bag said. And I do like that Dr. Strange comic cover. "Master of the Mystic Arts." I once worked with a couple of guys who had that same degree.

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  3. Some times the best "house" rule, is no rules at all. It's your life, so who is there to judge you! Got to admit I have done several of those things in the article, and have been married 49 years!
    Just keep on doing what you want. One person's "strange" is another person's "normal!"

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  4. Not closing the bathroom door. Why bother? The dogs will just push it open anyway. Only time mine is closed is when I have company. And yes, I talk to out loud to the girls.

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  5. Closed interior doors seem almost unnatural to me (except when we have company). As for normal... well, there just doesn't seem to be anywhere for me to use it

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  6. Back to that Normal Norman thang - what is normal?

    I think I prefer "Nearly-Normal Norman," Lou.

    Dan: I used to work with a couple o' few guys who THOUGHT they were Masters of the Mystic Arts.

    Ed: You've been married 49 years!?! Way t'go, Bud!

    Deb: Yup. Same here. Except for the girls.

    Skip: In re: where to use it. Heh. Certainly NOT at Wal-Mart, just to cite one example.

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  7. Been there for ALL of them, Buck. Ought to try a LARGE, Sweet potato sometime--just oil the skin w olive oil, prick and pop in the oven (or in the Microwave if you're in a hurry, but oven-baked is better--wait until skin crisp and it oozes) Salt & butter to taste (or use olive oil if you're on a diet--GOT to watch your weight, right, Buck? :) ) YUM!!!

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  8. I eat an entire 11 oz. bag of Kroger potato chips for a meal at least three times a week, and I definitely do not live alone.

    It's interesting to think about. Don't know how I'd do "alone" in the long run. But, I do a lot of these things already even with a housemate. I sing loudly in the shower if the mood strikes me. I don't close the bathroom door (unless we have company). And, I thought EVERYBODY talked aloud to their pets (and to themselves).

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  9. Thing I Know #33. If you see a lot of bugs crawling all over the computer lately, it might be a good idea to go into that room with the refrigerator and the sink and see if there’s something that hasn’t been cleaned for awhile.

    Dated 1/9/06...yes, I do believe I was a bachelor at the time...and I do believe computer & refrigerator/sink were separated by a good distance, which says something about the state of disrepair of the other room. But then, I don't live alone now, and there's a lot about me the Times would still not consider normal.

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  10. Virgil: Finding yams or sweet potatoes around here might could be hard.

    Andy: I think it's the Times that's weird, myself.

    Morgan: We all have different standards for cleanliness and/or housekeeping... but there's too much military in me to have the house in less than ship-shape condition.

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