Or weird stuff you MIGHT read in the NYT, if you gave a shit. Apparently there was this article in Thursday's Times that claims living alone makes you strange. And the article apparently focused on wimmen, rather than men that live alone. I didn't actually GO there, choosing to read what Althouse and The Awl had to say on the subject. Plus the comments at both places, of course. I liked what The Awl had to say, seein' as how they read between the lines and posted a list of stuff that either makes you weird or contributes to pending strangeness. Their list (and my comments, in parens):
1) Standing naked in kitchen at 2 a.m. eating peanut butter from jar. (Been there, done that. At much earlier times than 0200 hrs, too.)
2) SingingJourneyRolling Stones songs in (the) shower. (The Awl sez: Especially "Lovin', Touchin', Squeezin'." That's the jam. I say EVERY-freakin'-thang Journey ever recorded sucks. Big time. The ONLY exception is when the crowd at The Joe joins in on the line "born and raised in SOUTH DEE-TROIT" at hockey games... and that's three bags full o' awesome. I join in on those occasions.)
3) Working 24 hours straight for days on end. (Not lately, but I did that when I was single and gainfully employed.)
4) Letting (the) apartment fall apart on you and not washing dishes. ("Fall apart" is entirely relative. I wash dishes twice a week, or whenever I run out of coffee cups and/or beer glasses.)
5) Having nobody care. (I'm not quite sure what this means. If it means no one really cares about the WAY I live, then yeah... I agree. Otherwise? Ya got me.)
6) Wearing specially designated home-wear that you change when company comes over. (Not applicable, other than lounging around nekkid in the summer.)
7) Not closing the bathroom door. (Awl comment: Well, at least for just peeing.) (My comment: what's the point? If you're alone, you're ALONE. Don't you close a door to get privacy?)
8) Talking aloud to pets. (Did that, too... when I had pets. Now I talk aloud to myself sometimes. Well... a lot, actually.)
9) Subsisting largely on cereal, nuts or seeds. (Yes, occasionally.)
10) Staying up working on computer until 4 or 5 in the morning. (Working? No. Playing? Yes.)
11) Having a baked potato for a meal. (Can't say I've ever done that; I rarely use my oven. But I have eaten an entire bag of potato chips and called that dinner.)OK... I guess I'm weird by the NYT's standards. But **I** feel perfectly normal, and that's all that really counts, innit?
Back to that Normal Norman thang - what is normal? I've done lots of those things, and I live with someone. I have known some loners who thought (believed, dreamed, fantasized) in their minds long enough that it became a reality in their minds. That was strange.
ReplyDeleteDitto what Bag said. And I do like that Dr. Strange comic cover. "Master of the Mystic Arts." I once worked with a couple of guys who had that same degree.
ReplyDeleteSome times the best "house" rule, is no rules at all. It's your life, so who is there to judge you! Got to admit I have done several of those things in the article, and have been married 49 years!
ReplyDeleteJust keep on doing what you want. One person's "strange" is another person's "normal!"
Not closing the bathroom door. Why bother? The dogs will just push it open anyway. Only time mine is closed is when I have company. And yes, I talk to out loud to the girls.
ReplyDeleteClosed interior doors seem almost unnatural to me (except when we have company). As for normal... well, there just doesn't seem to be anywhere for me to use it
ReplyDeleteBack to that Normal Norman thang - what is normal?
ReplyDeleteI think I prefer "Nearly-Normal Norman," Lou.
Dan: I used to work with a couple o' few guys who THOUGHT they were Masters of the Mystic Arts.
Ed: You've been married 49 years!?! Way t'go, Bud!
Deb: Yup. Same here. Except for the girls.
Skip: In re: where to use it. Heh. Certainly NOT at Wal-Mart, just to cite one example.
Been there for ALL of them, Buck. Ought to try a LARGE, Sweet potato sometime--just oil the skin w olive oil, prick and pop in the oven (or in the Microwave if you're in a hurry, but oven-baked is better--wait until skin crisp and it oozes) Salt & butter to taste (or use olive oil if you're on a diet--GOT to watch your weight, right, Buck? :) ) YUM!!!
ReplyDeleteI eat an entire 11 oz. bag of Kroger potato chips for a meal at least three times a week, and I definitely do not live alone.
ReplyDeleteIt's interesting to think about. Don't know how I'd do "alone" in the long run. But, I do a lot of these things already even with a housemate. I sing loudly in the shower if the mood strikes me. I don't close the bathroom door (unless we have company). And, I thought EVERYBODY talked aloud to their pets (and to themselves).
Thing I Know #33. If you see a lot of bugs crawling all over the computer lately, it might be a good idea to go into that room with the refrigerator and the sink and see if there’s something that hasn’t been cleaned for awhile.
ReplyDeleteDated 1/9/06...yes, I do believe I was a bachelor at the time...and I do believe computer & refrigerator/sink were separated by a good distance, which says something about the state of disrepair of the other room. But then, I don't live alone now, and there's a lot about me the Times would still not consider normal.
Virgil: Finding yams or sweet potatoes around here might could be hard.
ReplyDeleteAndy: I think it's the Times that's weird, myself.
Morgan: We all have different standards for cleanliness and/or housekeeping... but there's too much military in me to have the house in less than ship-shape condition.