A couple o' tunes and a random thought or two. First, Colbie Caillat...
I won't do what you told me
I won't do what you said, no
I'm not gonna stop feeling
I'm not gonna forget it
I don't wanna start over
I don't wanna pretend that
You are not my lover
That you're only my friend
That was me ten years ago. We've grown up a lil bit since then*. And then there's this...
Isn't this the best part of breakin' up
Finding someone else you can't get enough of
Someone who wants to be with you too
It's an itch we know we are gonna scratch
Gonna take a while for this egg to hatch
But wouldn't it be beautiful
Here we go, we're at the beginning
We haven't fucked yet, but my heads spinning
Why can't I breathe whenever I think about you
Why can't I speak whenever I talk about you
It's inevitable, it's a fact that we're gonna get down to it
So tell me
Why can't I breathe whenever I think about you
Oh, damn. There it IS. I was gonna go off on this tangent about how and why is it that heartbreak songs outnumber those that celebrate "true love" (if there is such a thing) by a factor of at LEAST 10:1. That ratio is based upon today's Happy Hour soundtrack, which was the Joan Osbourne station on Pandora. And further... I didn't keep an actual count of the songs, it's just a gut-feel sorta thang. I think I'm erring on the conservative side as well, because if I really go with my gut I'd say the heartbreak songs outnumber songs celebrating love by a factor of 20:1. But that's just me, and we're ignoring what Ms. Phair said.
We digress. I think Miz Phair hits on it... the feeling one gets when one is caught up in an irresistible attraction and that feeling is prolly the demise of most relationships. I've been on both sides of this phenomenon and neither side is pretty: someone always gets hurt. It really makes me wonder why the hell we go through this shit but I think that's mostly a function of age. It's much easier to let it all go... to give up the chase, to accept solitude... when you've got one foot in the grave. Yet still... so much to lose, so little to gain. Why?
*Which is only a small lie.
Good songs, both, but I especially like the Phair one. I might quibble with you a bit on the dichotomy you set up: heartbreak songs vs true love songs. The true love category throws off things a bit IMHO. How about "attraction" songs vs. "dissolution" of the affair songs? The ratio might be a little closer to even then. Maybe?
ReplyDeleteEven if it's dissolution vs. attraction the ratio is no better than 5:1, Dan. IMHO. I suppose we hear what we wanna hear, eh?
ReplyDeleteI still don't understand why it's so hard to find "true love" and so easy to get into a f***ed up mess with someone? How do we manage to make such bad choices with such sincerity? (speaking for myself, not necessarily anyone else...) ;-)
ReplyDeleteI think "true love" is really hard because the rule of "familiarity breads contempt".
ReplyDeleteThe more you experience a persons total personality, sometimes (often) it creates "true hate".
One thing I can't stand is nagging. I mean, I want to nag, but I hold my thoughts. Some people just let them fly.
Q: "Why are your feet on the coffee table?"
A: "Because I like the feeling"
Nag: "Well get your feet off, because you're going to ruin the finish"
A: "F**k Off!"
Nag: "You don't love me anymore!"
A: "Here's $50 go buy another f**king coffee table!"
Nag: "Get your feet off or I'm going to _________!"
A: "Yes dear"
So people find other things to do besides go home to that.
I'm bad about not really listening or knowing what the words to songs say. So, I like Colbie's music much better than the teeny-bopper voice and attitude of Phair's song. Phair's song seems to be all about self and pleasure.
ReplyDeleteI'm not really a fan of "cryin' in your beer" songs, but there does seem to be more of them than happy, true love songs. Maybe it is because so many people have no idea what true love is or how to hold on to it once they find it.
Speaking of lyrics, how's about some C&W ones? Like "get your feet out from under the table, your clothes out of the closet, and your tongue out of my mouth, 'cause I'm kissin' you good-by!" Or, my favorite: "I know what I was feelin', but WHUT was I thinkin'!"
ReplyDeleteI LOVE 'em and I'm not even a C&W fan!
I think Lou's last sentence says it all. In today's fast food society people think that love should happen like a movie - all pretty, with the classic meet-cute,then the happy-ever-after.
ReplyDeleteIt isn't like that. And society today makes it very easy to just cut and run.
And I think the ratio Buck quotes is pretty accurate which also leads to these problems. People poor their hearts out in song, exorcising their demons. And someone on the fence in a relationship identifies with the song and boom - they just walk away rather than fight for it.
Not saying this happens to everyone whose heart is broken - some people really do know how to find love and keep it, they just get betrayed in the process by the other person.
Red: I tend to agree with you. One thing that fosters bad relationships is the quickness with which we enter them. I swore up and down I wasn't gonna rush into the next one when my first marriage ended and I thought our three-year courtship pretty much guaranteed the success of TSMP's and my union. Alas...
ReplyDeleteHate: See my comment, above. I think we allowed ample time to overcome that "familiarity breeds" thang, but TSMP decided (after 20 years) that she had had enough. Mebbe it was my nagging. ;-)
Rawhide: Heh. That was pretty good.
Lou: I posted the Phair song to illustrate how shit happens. And it happens waaaay too often. I like both tunes, speakin' only about the music and not the lyrics.
Virgil: Country tunes have some of the most bizarre and entertaining lyrics in the heartbreak genre. And I'm not much of a fan, either... except for Lyle Lovett.
And society today makes it very easy to just cut and run.
Yup. TOO easy, as a matter o' fact. You make good points here, Kris.