I'm being checked-out at Wally-World a few minutes ago and I've got the usual load o' crap... a half dozen eggs, a pound o' bacon, loaf o' bread, bag o' salad, three limes, a couple of frozen entrees, 12-pack of Sam Adams, yadda, yadda... ya know, the usual. Sweet Young Thang looks at me and sez...
"You're single, aren't ya?"
"Well, yeah," sez I. ""What gave ya the first clue?"
"You're really fuckin' ugly," sez she.
Badda-da-boomp. She really wasn't a Sweet Young Thang, she was a fat 'n' frumpy old broad who visibly turned up her nose as she scanned my beer. Which reminded me of that old joke...
―:☺:―
What's up with this? Last week I got a love note from DoD... the Defense Finance and Accounting folks, to be exact... notifying me that federal withholding increased and my USAF retirement check would be lighter by 32 Yankee Dollars this month and forever, or until the next COLA kicks in. Didn't The One tell me I should be thanking him for lowering my taxes? Did he LIE to me? How is that possible?
―:☺:―
Today's Happy Hour Soundtrack is gonna be mostly country blues... and we'll begin with this:
"Can't You See" remains one of the best country blues tunes EVER recorded. That's my (not so) humble opinion but I realize YMMV, Gentle Reader.
Beer me!
"Can't You See" remains one of the best country blues tunes EVER recorded. Agree with you ther Buck. One of my personal favorites.
ReplyDelete"Great minds..." Heh.
ReplyDeleteI thought you were going to make some sort of pun from "she was checking me out." Maybe she was.
ReplyDeleteLike me some MTB.
I go to a walmart neighborhood store mostly. There's this fat checker that wears a skirt that goes down to her toes. Looks like USAF Kakhi color from the 60's.
ReplyDeleteWell, she's enjoyably fat, I mean I ain't no hunk either. I've been putting the moves on her, by buying condoms and aftershave. Nothing. So I buy some condoms for larger men. Nope. Finally I ask her if I can pick her up after work, and we can make love. Nope.
Ah, I dream of her fat ass as I type this...
wv: ablimps
I'm trying to decide on limp or blimp...
I'm tryin' to come up with something better than that La grosse femme, so far, I've got nothin'.
ReplyDeleteUncle sent me that same letter. I wasn't expecting a raise this year, but was rather surprised to find that it was being taxed more.
ReplyDeleteThe funny thing is, at my day job, my tax rate went down. WTH?
Marc, don't feel like the Lone Ranger on that one. Anon is famous around these parts...and hard to top.
ReplyDeleteActually, I like my The Walmart, and always receive friendly, courteous service. No, I'm not a paid spokesperson.
Buck, you've been around the barn a time or two, so I'm sure you've heard this one...probably used it a time or two. In response...
"Darlin', did you fall all the way from Heaven? I'm wonderin','cause your face is really f***ed up!
BTW, MTB is just one heckuva hard act to follow. Always been a fan. Always!
That checker was probably the fat old woman that coached Shelby's basketball team this year. I can NOT stand her! All she did was scream at the girls and make them have four 6am practices a week before school. If she wants to see fugly she should look in the mirror. haha!
ReplyDeleteLou: I likes me some MTB, too. Good memories there and lots of 'em.
ReplyDeleteLa grosse femme: Changin' genders on me, are ya?
The funny thing is, at my day job, my tax rate went down. WTH?
Only temporarily, BR, if what I read is true. The One temporarily reduced the payroll tax withholding as aprt of Stimulus, Pt. II. Or is it three? I lose track...
marc: What Andy said.
Andy: Nope, never heard that one. I have heard the "Are you OK?" variant, though... as in "the fall is a long way." And I like my Wal-Mart too. I just don't like that one checker, but yesterday was the first time I'd encountered her. I usually go thru the express lanes or check myself out.
Jenny: I'd never seen that woman before yesterday, but the eye-roll about my beer really put me off. Practices at 0600 hrs? I wouldn't even THINK about goin' there. That's abuse.
Yikes. Dissed at the checkout at Walfart. I don't know if you can sink any lower, Buck. Next time, make it a case. Then hit her with it.
ReplyDeleteWell, you know why men are usually the first to die in married relationships; Because they can.
ReplyDeleteOn the retired pay front; See if you can get another W-4 form (or whatever that form is) Claim ten dependents so that Uncle Sugar does not take any of your pay out each month. Just be ready to pay at the end of the year.
I've been doing this for elebenty years and have never heard a discouragin' word. But I did pay taxes on my retired pay in April...
Looks like I came back here at the right time. There's very few country blues tunes I don't like and I do love MT's "Can't you see." But I go way back to old Lightnin' to claim my favorite: "Trouble in Mind."
ReplyDeleteI was checking out that greg allman album and found this interview on youTube about it:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rz24oE2GDaU
It's long, but worth watching.
Jim: Heh.
ReplyDeleteDarryl: I have EXTRA withholding taken out of my check and I still wind up writing my favorite uncle a check come April 15th. I don't understand how or why a retired guy still pays more in taxes than at LEAST 30% of the general population (according to what I read). That baffles me.
Dan: A MOST excellent clip. Ol' Gregg looks pretty good these days, eh? I'm thinkin' he looks a whole helluva lot better than his ex-wife, and I'd be speakin' of that Cher person. He prolly hasn't "invested" any money in cosmetic surgery, either.