Tuesday, December 15, 2009

I Let This Slide By...

Two days ago... (this piece from Examiner.com)
All across the U.S. from Arlington National Cemetery to Sacramento Valley California 350 locations will honor and remember the fallen soldiers on December 12th 2009. Richmond is no exception. Richmond National Cemetery honors the fallen soldiers by participating in Wreaths Across America. For more info on Wreaths Across America click here.
I usually remember this event... and here's what I put up back in 2007:

Wreaths Across America



A few days back this week, blog-buddy Kris posted a story (with pics!) about Wreaths Across America. Kris had a special connection with Wreaths Across America, as her Mom was at the send-off event in Harrington, Maine (Kris’ Mom was in Belfast, ME). The wreaths arrive in Washington DC tommorrow, and the placement ceremony at Arlington National Cemetery is scheduled to begin at 0900 hours this Sunday.
The Arlington wreath-laying ceremonies are scheduled to commence at 9 a.m. Dec. 15, culminating with a nationwide ceremony and moment of remembrance at 12 p.m. All Wreath Across America participants nationwide will adorn veterans' graves with remembrance wreaths concurrently with the Arlington celebration at 12 p.m. Eastern Standard Time.
The Civil Air Patrol, USAF’s civilian auxiliary, is participating in this project in a big way:
12/7/2007 - MAXWELL AIR FORCE BASE, Ala. (AFPN) -- Veterans' memorials and gravesites across the nation will be adorned with remembrance wreaths on Dec. 15 in stirring, solemn tributes to the courage and sacrifice of those who have guarded and preserved the nation throughout history.
Through Wreaths Across America, Civil Air Patrol members join with Worcester Wreath Co. of Harrington, Maine, in remembering the nation's departed veterans. CAP units will lead 132 of the 268 observances this year, and will participate with other color and honor guards in approximately 25 additional locations.
This year, for the first time ever, members of the public sponsored placement of 16,500 wreaths on veterans' graves across the U.S., with more than 4,000 of those sponsored through CAP. These wreaths will be placed during ceremonies in all 50 states. Worcester Wreath Co. donated 15,644 wreaths, 10,000 of which will be placed at Arlington National Cemetery. In all, 32,144 wreaths will adorn cemeteries and memorials through Wreaths Across America.
After a sendoff ceremony Dec. 9, the 10,000 remembrance wreaths designated for Arlington will make a 750-mile journey from Harrington, Maine, and arrive in the D.C. area Dec. 14. The route will become perhaps the longest veterans' celebration ever as patriotic Americans, veterans groups and other local organizations plan to show their support for the project with parades and ceremonies at more than 20 stops along the way.
Kudos to everyone involved in this special project, but most especially to the Worcester Wreath Co.
Wreath photos: (U.S. Air Force photos/Master Sgt. Jim Varhegyi)
The top photo above has become iconic, and rightly so. 

―:☺:―
While we're on about Christmasy things... there's this from 2007, as well:

Dark Days


This is a hard post to write…mainly because it will be perceived by some as whinging, although it is most assuredly not that. This is also neither a “cry for sympathy” nor a plea for “I feel your pain” sorts of comments.

It simply is what it is: a statement of fact. Some of us get depressed during the holidays. A lot of us, as it turns out. Google it if you don’t believe me…you’ll get about 133,000 hits (ed: 265,000 in 2009) on the subject. The search term I’ve offered up is just one variation on many potential search terms, as Google will kindly suggest other terms that yield even MORE hits. A google blog-search, on the other hand, yields significantly less returns (approx. 11,774) and the great majority of those links have to do with the ins-and-outs of “beating” or otherwise curing the depression. Precious few accounts exist of living with it, but I only went four pages deep into the blog links. This is something we rarely discuss in the first-person, mainly because it’s uncomfortable for us (both of us: sender and recipient) to do so and, ultimately, it IS the holidays, after all. We should all be decking the halls and such. This isn’t the time to be unhappy. Quite the contrary: tis the season to be jolly!

What set me off down this lil path was reading Lex’s “tidings of comfort and joy,” which had something of an opposite effect on YrHmblScrb. On the one hand, I can SO relate to Lex’s tale of domestic bliss, the joys of tree shopping, tree-decorating, and holiday familial togetherness, because, well…I’ve had my share. But the hand I’m currently playing is completely lacking in these simple joys and I wish it were not so. Emphatically.

Christmas, to me, is all about the kids…and the grand-kids. Speaking as a father of a ten year old, it pains me greatly not to share Christmas with my youngest son as it “should be,” which is to say: as a family. I’m also reminded that, as the patriarch of what is becoming a rather large extended family, Christmas would likely as not be celebrated in my home with said extended family if things had worked out in the manner I wish(ed). But as you can well imagine, Gentle Reader, it does one absolutely no good… no good at all… to wish for things that can never be. Still and even: how do you block these thoughts, exposed as we all are to “tidings of comfort and joy” at this time of year… whether it’s in a blog post, a stroll through the mall (enduring the never-ending, sotto voce [or louder] Christmas carol Muzak), or in the messages that bombard us 7x24 on the small screen? Answer: you pretty much can’t.

So. We endure, those of us so afflicted. We smile, we wish our friends “Merry Christmas,” we go on about our lives as best we can, we conceal the sadness beneath the surface of our merry faces. And a great many of us wish nothing more than to be left alone during this time. It is a true fact (to YrHmblScrb, at least) that happiness experienced during the holidays cannot be shared unless both parties are of a like-mind. It does me no good to be wrapped in the warm embrace of another’s good cheer if I’m not feeling it. Selfish? Perhaps. But once again, Gentle Reader, it is what it IS. And no amount of effort on your or any other sentient being’s part will change it. Best just to leave it alone. Because in the end the sadness passes along with the holidays…for most of us, at least.

I’m done unburdening. I wish you and yours a Merry Christmas…and I mean it. Consider yourself blessed if you’re having happy holidays. As Lex suggested:
Another one of those moments, another of those days that I would have preserved in amber if I could, and kept someplace safe. To bring it out like the phial of Galadriel - to be a light for me in dark places, when all other lights go out.
I kinda-sorta thought I'd dodged this particular bullet this year, yet here it is... right on schedule (I put the post above up on 12/17/2007).   Once again: this too shall pass.  It always does. 

18 comments:

  1. I find it the most depressing time of the year but that's a recent development. I married Shelob. She's gone now but she took my little girl with her.

    You have a wonderful family. Celebrate your young ones. You did good.

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  2. Holidays are such sensitive times of year for most everyone - for good or bad.

    As you know, this year is quite rough for me as a result of circumstances quite beyond my control. Doesn't make the pain of the season any easier to bear.

    So I take a deep breath everyday, willing myself thru another day, then another.

    Before we know it, we'll be on the other side of the madness.

    At least that's what I'm telling myself.

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  3. Mercy, Buck. Darkness indeed. Here's a little candle to light a path -- the wreath-laying is SOOO wonderful.

    Our 9 year-old artificial Christmas tree has now become a Charlie-Brown artificial tree. Only 1/3 of the lights work, so we're going with its "interesting" display and retiring it after Christmas. If we can. We're not ones to let "thing" go if we may get one more use out of them one day. Like the blender that works every 4 times you hit the button -- I put it away in an unused upstairs kitchen cabinet instead of traching it -- just in case. Someday our battered, dessicated bodies will be discovered under collapsed piles of junk that we never could convince ourselves to part with.

    Guess I'm rambling, huh? I do that.

    Maybe Happy Hour will come early today.

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  4. Buck, thank you for posting this. I appreciate the insight that it brings. I mean it.

    That is one of the best pieces I have read on the matter. I've read it three times, and it gets better with each reading.

    So...Merry Kwanzaa, man! ;)

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  5. Anon: Memory being what it is... or isn't, in this case... I had to google Shelob. Guess it's time to re-read the trilogy! But seriously: I understand where you're coming from.

    Kris: I very nearly didn't re-post the wreath piece because of your difficulties. But I checked the link and saw your post was still there, and that tipped the scales. That, and the positive news you recently put up. Hang in there and hang on.

    Moogie: Heh on death by way of the weight of undiscarded junk. That comes as something of a surprise, seeing as how most military families have this built-in purge cycle that occurs with every PCS. That was the way I got rid of my 15+ year collection of old "Rolling Stone" magazines.

    I read comments via e-mail this morning, and yours came through before the spam. I scratched my head momentarily before the light came on... ;-)

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  6. Andy: Ah, we were commenting together but separate... Thanks!

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  7. I don't like the holidays, either. And I have everything I can ever want.

    Could be because I remember the bad times too well, and know they can be back in a flash. All it takes is an accident.

    My paranoia speaks, of course.

    So I will try to enjoy myself despite my negativity, at the very least to enjoy my happy times for those unable to.

    Go visit your Grand kids, buy them useless gifts. They will enjoy the season most!

    Stay warm!

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  8. Buck, it's been a while!

    The 'Wreath's Across America' program seems like a lovely ritual. I can only hope to have someone tenderly remember me when I am gone in such a way.

    Holidays can be tough, and it can also be tough for the people who are around you at this time, because they want to make you happy and not sure how.

    You're not selfish when you say that you're not feeling the cheer and don't want to fake it. Its how YOU feel and that's what matters most.

    Maybe it would be a good idea to think about what WOULD make you happy around this time. Maybe you can take the cycle out for a weekend spin, have a couple of buddies over for a couple of cigars and fine beer, or just watch some favorite vintage movies.

    Try not to let the Holiday's get you down, it's just another day.

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  9. Yep, that's the way to say -- I just want to be left alone.

    There is no family and I've lost more people than I've kept, so it's not that I'm sad so much as I just am satisfied to -- as Kris said -- just get through it.

    If other people are happy, that's fine. I certainly don't want to take away from theirs and I don't want to dwell on mine.

    I can be Suzie Sunshine when I have to be and I often am and that is sincere.

    And I'm more than happy to say Merry Christmas to you and yours, but then just let it be. And I'll spend the day as I wish.

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  10. Sometimes I just want to state how I feel, too. It is what it is.

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  11. Buck - thank you for the sensitivity for me. I appreciate it. I would never take down the post about the Wreaths no matter what connection brought it to me.

    The Wreaths transcend everything else that may be wrapped up in that post.

    The Wreaths are what we should focus on. When we are just trying to soldier thru the holidays - like it sadly seems so many here are doing - we should turn our minds to our warriors and what they are enduring. And to those who the wreathes honor - the fallen and their families.

    Sometimes that kind of thinking will pull me out of the doldrums. Sometimes. Not every time. But I try.

    And will keep trying. As Kath said above, I can be sincere even when I don't want to be.

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  12. Since retiring and moving back "home", I have found this time of year to be increasingly stressful, for a variety of reasons I shan't bore you with.

    I just work my way through it one day at a time, some days with help from the folks at New Belgium or the Hood River Distillery.

    I won't offer any inane "chin up" advice, as I know it to be a load of crap anyway. But, as someone wiser'n me once said "this too shall pass." At least for another year.

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  13. I'm sorry you are away from family. I'd already sent the ecard and then read this post. I just wanted to let you know the order of things tonight so it didn't look insensitive... I should write a post about what December means. It's not all wonderful. It has some very painful memories one of which was triggered today. And this year it's also minus my father and hurts like hell. All the same, it's been a joy finding a few wonderful new friends this year albeit many miles away, in another country and on line. I will be very thankful for that this Christmas & thinking of you. All you need on Christmas day is a drink in hand....

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  14. Darryl sez: My paranoia speaks, of course.

    It's not a bad thing to listen to that voice every so often. Kinda sharpens the wit and makes us focus on the here and now, right? And thanks for the advice.

    Crysti: Thanks for dropping by again. If the WX ever warms up to 65 I'll take the bike out... no doubt. A quick blitz through the countryside does wonders for the soul. Srsly.

    Kath: "Just getting through it" has more meaning than most people realize. I don't mean to go on here, but I'm hoping you get my drift...

    Lou: I'm of the opinion that one should rarely pull punches in this space. It's best for everyone to set expectations right up front, innit?

    Kris: There was a reason I ordered the items in today's post as I did... the wreaths and the ceremony involved come first, and should be first in our thoughts.

    BR: Thank God for New Belgium, eh? I also draw inspiration and solace from a group of guys up in the Highlands of Scotland, too. ;-)

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  15. Alison: Thanks for the card; a note will follow under separate cover. I thought you may not have read this post when you sent the card... which pushed a couple of favorite buttons of mine. Christmas in England was always very, very good... even though I was thousands of miles from home. Strange, but true.

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  16. Buck/

    Buck up! "Steady on!" (as the Brits are wont to say) Don't know about you, but I was raised as an only child and was used to being alone a lot and amusing myself. There is a vast difference between being alone and lonely--even on holidays. I've spent many--both in the service and out--mainly when I was a batchelor. Spent a lot of New Year's alone also, 3 of them in college as I lived in a small town and my parents went out with friends when I was home for the holidays--I preferred it that way as I no longer had local social ties. I always tried to make up for it in other ways by doing things as a single guy that most marrieds couldn't afford unless they really had money (Ky Derby, Indy 500, skiing trips, road trips to Mexico, etc.) the trade-off being that I did them mostly alone.

    Single-life has lots of ups and downs--married life more steady-state with fewer lows--but fewer highs also. Most everything in life is a double-edged sword. Look on the bright side--you're still alive. You and I've got lots of contemporaries that aren't...And we've got some fairly decent memories also--more than most. We can drink to that...

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  17. Look on the bright side--you're still alive.

    True, dat. But with diminished capacities, compared to Former Happy Days.

    I spent a year on the road in the RV when I ran away from home these ten years ago, VX, and I saw and did some spectacular sorts of things... most of which I did alone (there was one cross-country trip with SN2 and family, but that was the sole exception). It got waaay old after a year of solo seeing and doing. So... I have more than a few of those tee shirts and have no desire to accumulate more of 'em.

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Just be polite... that's all I ask.