Sunday, October 11, 2009

Well, Hell. Just ONE More and Then I'll Quit...

... really. Seriously. I mean it.

David Burge:

Membership Has Its Privileges

[ed. note: republished and amended from a 2007 post]
Dear   BARACK OBAMA  :
Congratulations! On behalf of the selection committee, I am pleased to announce that you have been named a 2009 recipient of the Nobel Peace Prize, in recognition of your tireless efforts to   STRENGTHEN INTERNATIONAL DIPLOMACY AND COOPERATION    .
I am also pleased to tell you that as a winner, you have been pre-approved for membership in the Nobel Peace Player's Club, offering exclusive money-saving benefits available only to laureates like you. Please take a few minutes to look over the enclosed enrollment materials. At only $299.95 per year, I'm sure you'll agree that membership is a bargain at twice the price! Here are just some of the benefits you'll receive:
  • A handsome 14-karat gold membership crest badge to display proudly on the grille of your limousine or official state aircraft
  • A framed, hand-calligraphed certificate (add $19.95 for gold leaf)
  • Special discount shopping bargains for for you and your family
  • Great travel packages to the 2016 Olympics in Rio de Janeiro
  • Listing in "Who's Who of Global Salvation" ($49.95 per copy)
  • Great coupons for Olive Garden, P.F. Chang's, Six Flags Theme Parks, and more!
Plus, you'll receive the exclusive Nobel Peace Player's Club GoldCard entitling you to discount air travel and 5-star hotel accommodations from Kyoto to Darfur. But don't take our word for it! Listen to these testimonials from some of our current members:

Chase the title link. The testimonials are just TOO funny... with further links!

6 comments:

  1. Buck, You are right the Testimonials are too much, especially the last two between Yasser and Le Duc Tou!! I wonder why Pol Pot never got one of them Prizes, think of all the millions he brought peace to and no reconition? Go figure!!

    BT: Jimmy T sends.

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  2. Thanks for sharing this, the testimonials ARE hilarious!

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  3. Thanks, all y'all. I'm glad ya got a kick out of it, too.

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  4. Buck, searching diligently (my middle name and difficult to get it printed in comments) I found the link to vote for BO for the Heisman trophy on ESPN. You bet he got my vote.
    I had wanted to vote for Joe Stalin for Peace Prize, but they didn't give me the chance.
    A second of seriousness: This has created an atmosphere, among those of us who left with the capacity to think for ourselves, of no longer respecting anything the Nobel Committee comes out with. I wonder if they are controlled by a huge consortium that we have yet to hear of?

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  5. Cat: I lost my respect for the Nobel when they gave it to al Gore. I was willing to cut 'em a little slack with Arafat and then Carter (albeit MUCH less, in the slack department), but Gore ripped it for me.

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Just be polite... that's all I ask.