Tuesday, April 29, 2008

Good Writing, Redux

My Bud Ed in Florida sends the following along… and note the final paragraph. Oh Hell. I’ll highlight it, just so you can’t miss it, Gentle Reader:

DEAR ABBY ADMITTED SHE WAS AT A LOSS TO ANSWER THE FOLLOWING!

Dear Abby,
A couple of women moved in across the hall from me. One is a middle-aged gym teacher and the other is a social worker in her mid twenties. These two women go everywhere together and I've never seen a man go into or leave the apartment. Do you think they could be Lebanese?

Dear Abby,
What can I do about all the Sex, Nudity, Fowl Language and Violence On My VCR?

Dear Abby,
I have a man I can't trust. He cheats so much, I'm not even sure the baby I'm carrying is his.

Dear Abby,
I am a twenty-three year old liberated woman who has been on the pill for two years. It's getting expensive and I think my boyfriend should share half the cost, but I don't know him well enough to discuss money with him.

Dear Abby,
I've suspected that my husband has been fooling around, and when confronted with the evidence, he denied everything and said it would never happen again.

Dear Abby,
Our son writes that he is taking Judo. Why would a boy who was raised in a good Christian home turn against his own?

Dear Abby,
I joined the Navy to see the world. I've seen it. Now, how do I get out?

Dear Abby,
My forty year old son has been paying a psychiatrist $50.00 an hour every week for two and a half years. He must be crazy.

Dear Abby,
I was married to Bill for three months and I didn't know he drank until one night he came home sober.

Dear Abby,
My mother is mean and short tempered. I think she is going through mental pause.

Dear Abby,
You told some woman whose husband had lost all interest in sex to send him to a doctor. Well, my husband lost all interest in sex and he is a doctor. Now what do I do?

Remember these people can vote which probably explains the current situation in Washington, DC.

It probably most definitely explains Barack Obama. But leave us not digress. Too much, anyway.

10 comments:

  1. Lord...and today i got an email that inferred that Obama might just be The Antichrist(and from a person i never thought would FW: something so...out there)! I just cringe at this kind of senselessness.

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  2. First of all, I have wondered about people who would write to Dear Abby for their problem solving. Now they have removed all doubt.

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  3. Amazing. Just utterly amazing.

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  4. Jay sez: Lord...and today i got an email that inferred that Obama might just be The Antichrist(and from a person i never thought would FW: something so...out there)! I just cringe at this kind of senselessness.

    That kinda stuff makes me cringe, too. As well as wonder about the intelligence of people that (a) write that shite and (worse) (b) people who believe it.

    Lou and Jim: Agreed.

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  5. The sad part is, this is all true. I checked it out on Snopes, and they came from her book. The Snopes article has some more listed that are even funnier than these!

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  6. Bec said...
    Poor Barack - well-intentioned, bright kid. Mixed up family. Strong-willed angry wife. Fatherly but crazy pastor. Hangin' out with the cool intellectual lefties and seeking spiritual guidance at the Church of the Victimized. What chance did he have to gain any common sense? An American Tragedy, if I ever saw one. Hmm, I can imagine the play now...

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  7. I think I have mental pause too!

    It makes you wonder how some people even survive.

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  8. Worse: These people think are using English.
    Even worse: None of them seems to have a dictionary.
    But lots better: these are howlers.

    I saw that AntiChrist stuff on a blog site. Had so little interest in it, I've forgotten whose site it is.

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  9. Bec said...
    Poor Barack - well-intentioned, bright kid. Mixed up family. Strong-willed angry wife. Fatherly but crazy pastor. Hangin' out with the cool intellectual lefties and seeking spiritual guidance at the Church of the Victimized. What chance did he have to gain any common sense? An American Tragedy, if I ever saw one. Hmm, I can imagine the play now...


    Wow. That's just frickin' brilliant, Bec. The best in-a-nutshell description of the Obamanon I've read yet. All that I would add is "an ego of massive proportions." How else to explain the chutzpah of running for Prez on such a flimsy resume, and at such a tender age, relatively speaking?

    Diva sez: I think I have mental pause too!

    It makes you wonder how some people even survive.


    I have entirely TOO many mental pauses in my life at the moment, as well. I thought men were supposed to be immune from this stuff!

    And I'm SO with you on the "survive" thing...

    Cat sez: But lots better: these are howlers.

    They are that! As Becky said: there are more at Snopes. Some are quite good...

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  10. Bec said...
    Buck sez:
    "an ego of massive proportions."

    Indeed! I know kids like that. So many are being brought up to believe that their intellects are the most important part of who they are. Barack does seem to have a desire to be honorable, though. It's just that he's been awash in moral relativism all his life.
    And it aggravates me no end when the Dems compare his young age to JFK's, as though a comparison with a PT boat Lieutenant JG, with the life and death responsibility for his men, and who acted accordingly, could in any way compare with him, this young offspring of a baby boomer like me. Give me a 25-30 year old Iraq War captain any day.

    I am so proud of our young people of this generation who have taken on that responsibility. (You should be especially proud, Buck!) They and Barack must stare at each other across a very wide gulf. Reality can be focused through very different lenses, can't it?

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Just be polite... that's all I ask.