Friday, February 29, 2008

Just Goin' Thru the Motions

OK…there’s lots and lots of cool stuff on these here inter-tubes…like YouTube, ViralVids, Gizmodo, The Wiki, memeorandum, IowaHawk, and the like. But Blog-Bud Barry tipped me off to the coolest site I’ve seen in at least a year…possibly longer. It’s called “Stuff White People Like.” And it’s frickin’ funny. Omigawd funny. Spit coffee funny. If you’re white and you don’t see yourself or someone you know here you’re either lying, deluding yourself, or worse. Example:

#75…Threatening to Move to Canada.

Often times, white people get frustrated with the state of their country. They do not like the President, or Congress, or the health care system, or the illegal status of Marijuana. Whenever they are presented with a situation that seems unreasonable to them, their first instinct is to threaten to move to Canada.

For example, if you are watching TV with white people and there is a piece on the news about that they do not agree with, they are likely to declare “ok, that’s it, I’m moving to Canada.”

Though they will never actually move to Canada, the act of declaring that they are willing to undertake the journey is very symbolic in white culture. It shows that their dedication to their lifestyle and beliefs are so strong, that they would consider packing up their entire lives and moving to a country that is only slightly similar to the one they live in now.

Within white culture, it is agreed upon that if Canada had better weather it would be a perfect place.

Being aware that this information can be used quite easily to gain the trust of white people. Whenever they say, “I’m moving to Canada,” you must immediately respond with “I have relatives in Canada.”

They will then expect you to tell them about how Canada has a perfect healthcare system, legalized everything, and no crime. Though not true, it will reassure them that they are making the right choice by saying they want to move there.

But be warned, they will reference you in future conversations and possibly call on you to settle disputes about Canadian tax rates. So use this advice only if you plan to do some basic research.

Note: Canadian white people threaten to move to Europe.

Note: Europeans are unable to threaten to move anywhere.

There were 599 comments to the above post the last time I looked. I think the site might be catching on.

―:☺:―

Very short post today. I’ve been having a more difficult time with this latest episode of Adventures in Modern Dentistry than I thought I would. I think it was the early afternoon yesterday when I thought to myself “Hey. This ain’t so bad. I feel pretty damned good, in fact.” It couldn’t have been more than 30 minutes later when I was overcome with a wave of nausea, and a pretty severe one, at that. The usual episode at the Porcelain Plastic Altar followed in very short order. I then retired to my bed for the remainder of the entire day and half the night after ensuring I was absolutely, completely, and totally finished with My Prayers. I woke up sometime around 2330 hrs or so and was up for the rest of the dark hours… retiring sometime just after 0500 this morning. I probably should have posted something during that time but motivation, such as it was, was sorely lacking, Gentle Reader. The situation remains the same today. The odd thing is I’m not experiencing any sort of serious discomfort…nothing that can’t be handled with OTC pain relievers, anyway. I’m just psychically whipped.

This, too, shall pass…

―:☺:―

Today’s Pics: …are from my dorm room on Yokota AB, sometime in late 1976, and are meant to illustrate two specific items of d├ęcor that stayed with me from that time until the Great Divestiture of Stuff in late ‘99. That large green frog used to stand outside a pharmacy somewhere in the Greater Tokyo metropolitan area. It was “liberated” from its indentured servitude by two of The Second Mrs. Pennington’s college buddies in the wee small hours of a long-forgotten night of debauchery and petty crime sometime the previous year. I “inherited” Froggy when the guys went back to the US and decided shipping Froggy home would be more expensive than he was worth.

The second picture contains a Japanese railroad crossing sign which was similarly liberated in the wee small hours by someone else. The names of the thieves (and there were two) won’t be revealed to protect the innocent guilty-as-charged, even though I'm quite sure the statute of limitations has expired. I just wouldn't want to reveal any moral turpitude on the part of people I hold near and dear, Gentle Reader.

The third picture is of a very cold Froggy, who took up residence in places various and sundry in homes and rentals The Second Mrs. Pennington and I occupied (usually on the patio and/or deck) later on. He’s on the deck in Rochester, NY in this pic… the year is 1999 and illustrates the morning after a 24-inch snowfall. The train sign hung in various places over the course of the 20+ years in between the time I acquired it and its eventual disposition.

11 comments:

  1. Mmm, I hear you on the dental thing. When I had my two teeth pulled last August, I wasn't in very much pain. I just wanted to sleep. For two days.

    I hope you're feeling better soon.

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  2. I remember that Japanese railroad sign! It hung on the living room wall in that sad and COLD little house you rented in Westby, Montana back in 1978 or so. I have a picture of it somewhere, which I'll post sometime ... : )

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  3. Thanks, Becky. I hope so, too.

    Lori: Holy Shit, Girl! Your choice of adjectives for that old Westby house are about 180-out from mine! I had some of the best times of my life in that house, some of the most consistent and sustained laughter ever, great alcohol-inspired philosophical discussions, lots of Joni, lots of dancing, and lots of hot monkey-sex!! That's "sad and COLD?"

    Oh, My. ;-)

    PS... Sorry if that's TMI, Gentle Reader Not Lori.

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  4. PSS... About the train sign and such, Lori. I got completely side-tracked there for a moment. Forgive me. ;-)

    You don't remember Froggy in that humongous bathroom? I think I had him near the wringer washer, IIRC.

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  5. The "things that white people like" blog is hilarious.
    The frog is funny too. I hope you feel better soon!

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  6. Okay, so I'm reading this blog and I'm thinking I should comment here on your link. Too funny!! and just the kinda thing the hubby is gonna want to read! right up his alley and I'm betting he'd say thanks for sharing :)

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  7. Wow Buck, sorry to hear about your continued dental woes. Just continue to rest - pay attention to the body's warning signs. I frequently don't, much to my dismay later on.

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  8. Somewhere buried in this desk is a great article by Mark Steyn on the Canadian Economy. If I ever find it again, I'll see if I can track down a source on-line for you.

    Hope the dental problems get gone soon!

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  9. i have actually heard people say that before about canada, i can't imagine canada would be too bad afterall they are responsible for one of the best bands ever-rush, a really great beer-labatts, and most importantly they invented hockey the greatest game ever!

    another interesting fact about canada is that one of me friends got kicked out of canada for life!

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  10. Wow - that snow looks beautiful!

    That white people site is hilarious - thanks for the linky! I have a Canadian friend who's going to enjoy that. :)

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  11. Ashley, Dawn, Phlegmmy: I've read the whole SWPL site now...and my take-way is I'm pretty danged WHITE... with certain exceptions, like Apple products (don't own any), not owning a teevee (I do), recycling (I don't), Barack (I don't), bottles of water (I don't), Mos Def (hunh?), Michel Gondry (hunh?, again), and so on. In other words, I relate to about 75% of what's going down there.

    Kris and Lin: Thanks for your good wishes, yet again. I've been paying attention to the signs my body's been giving me... I was horizontal for most of the day yesterday. I think things are getting better.

    General Lee: I have friends who made the "move to Canada" vow, as well. But they haven't made good on it, either. Thanks for dropping by!

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Just be polite... that's all I ask.