Friday, January 25, 2008

USAF PME, On the O-Side

So. Dunno if I’ve mentioned this or not, but SN1 is off on another boondoggle attending an advanced Professional Military Education (PME) course, this time at Nellis AFB in Las Vegas. This particular course’s acronym is AMMOS, which I think stands for Advanced Material Management Officer (Something)... which should tell you I really don’t know what the Hell I'm talking about.

Anyhoo… the course is for guys people in the USAF logistics biz and SN1, being a Maintenance Officer, falls into that category. He sent along this lil vid, which I thought I’d share with you, Gentle Reader. We all need to know what sort of training our troops and their officers must go through in order to defend the country. So, without further ado… here's Captain Pennington operating some of the USAF's state-of-the-art support equipment:

The Good News: USAF has finally taught its ossifers to clean up after themselves.

The Bad News: They required instruction. Further... this event came much too late for me to profit from it.

Further Good News: This new development should result in less wear and tear on the E-side of the USAF house. The development also demonstrates the AF is quite unlike the other armed services. Case in point:

The Marine C.O.'s Morning Briefing:

The Commanding Officer of a Regiment in the U. S. Marine Corps was about to start the morning briefing to his Staff and Battalion and Company Commanders. While waiting for the coffee machine to finish its brewi ng, he decided to pose a question to all assembled. He explained that his wife had been a bit frisky the night before and he failed to get his usual amount of sound sleep. So he posed the question of just how much of sex was 'work' and how much of it was 'pleasure'?

The X.O. chimed in with 75-25% in favor of work.

A Captain said it was 50-50%.

The Colonel's Aide, a Lt., responded with 25-75% in favor of pleasure, depending on his state of inebriation at the time.

There being no consensus, the Colonel turned to the Lance Corporal who was in charge of making the coffee. What was HIS opinion?

With no hesitiation, the young LC responded, "Sir, it has to be 100% pleasure."

The Colonel was surprised and, as you might guess, asked why?

"Well, Sir, began the LC, "if there was any work involved, the officers would have me doing it for them."

The room fell silent. God Bless the enlisted men.

I rest my case.

(h/t for the joke: FHB)


  1. The real story: Most all AF courses, on both the O and E sides, have "clean up" time at the end of each day. This particular vid was recorded during just that time. I figured I'd have some fun with it, after clearing "the concept" with SN1, who agreed.

    All in good fun. Except for that bit about the other services.

    THAT was all true. ;-)

  2. That boy's had practice!

    You writing "ossifers" reminded me of when I stopped a Major one night for a traffic violation and called him ossifer! We had kidded around in the barracks so much that I could not break the habit!

  3. I seldom laugh, out loud, this early in the morning, but I did when I read the last line in this long post. Really funny and true as I remember it.

  4. Nellis...Vegas, we had our reunion: VSPA in 2006 there....but whenn in Vegas, I tend to gravitate towards The Gold Coast, and we ain't talking beach.

  5. Mushy sez: You writing "ossifers" reminded me...

    Yeah, I hear ya! I've pretty much broken any old habits I had because both boys are on the O-side. But the us-vs-them attitude and mindset is still intact.

    At some point in the future I might post a rant about the last remaining bastion of blatant class-structure in America. It's not quite feudalism, but it's pretty danged close. The problem is... I don't have a viable alternative to suggest.

    Abe: It IS pretty much true, ain't it? ;-)

    Pat: I haven't been to Las Vegas (NV. LV, NM... often) since 1980. The only reason I went then was to visit friends who lived there. I probably won't ever go back, either. Some things simply don't interest me, and Vegas is but one.

  6. Just to set the record straight...not that it is very far off...

    The AMMOS is for Advanced Maintenance and Munitions Officers School. The concept being a "Weapons School" for MX and MUNS officers.

    As far as needing instruction...a tale from many years back comes to mind:

    Dad had recently purchased a new house in Ferndale MI and I had moved back in with him for a short period before I was due to ship out to basic training.
    One day I arrive at the house to see my father "cleaning" the shiny, hardwood floors...or so I thought. I had honestly never seen a floor buffer before. He laughed at me and told me I'd become very familiar with it in months to come, at which time I told him he must be mistaken...I had enlisted into the electronics career field and I was SURE I wouldn't have to do any of that type of housework.

    Needless to say, on my first phone call back to Dad during basic training, I informed him that I HAD become more than familiar with the buffer, and could probably have buffed his living room in less than 10 minutes, given all the practice I'd had!

    Ah...the memories!



  7. Thanks for the clarification, Buck. And the war story. MY first encounter with a buffer almost hospitalized my Dorm Chief with a broken ankle, but it was "only" severely bruised. There was a trick to controlling those things; it was very easy to learn and you never forgot it, once learned. But the FIRST time?

    Not so much...


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