Monday, July 23, 2007

A Random and Strange Sort of Thought...

She was married when we first met
Soon to be divorced

—Bob Dylan (“Tangled Up in Blue”)

That’s my favorite Dylan tune and it’s played fairly often on Radio Paradise. I listened to RP a lot yesterday. And I was immersed in the music, paying close attention to the lyrics of songs new to me and singing along with the songs I know quite well (TUiB being just one of many), to the great annoyance of my neighbors, more than likely. The combination of sheer volume, coupled with my off-key singing, probably wasn’t as much fun for anyone within earshot as it was for me. Early in the day, anyway, while the windows and door were still open and before I buttoned things up and turned on the AC. The neighborhood got a lot more peaceful after that.

But good music and bad singing isn’t the point.

One of the most common questions a couple, any couple, gets is “Well, how did you two meet?” It’s not the first thing you ask someone, but the question always comes up in the process of making friends, at mixers of various sorts, and so on. It’s good, safe, polite conversation.

The Second Mrs. Pennington and I could hold forth on this subject for hours back in the day, given a little encouragement and interest on behalf of the person(s) asking the question. Everyone’s story of “how they met” is unique, yet I feel ours was pretty romantic, what with our having met in Tokyo — she an exchange student and me in the Air Force — on a blind date not with each other, and the subsequent adventures we had during our extended courtship in Japan and back in the US. There were many great stories to be told, good stories that got better and more treasured with each passing year. And that got me to wondering.

How does TSMP answer that question today?

There are several possibilities, and I’m just spit-balling these scenarios:

We met in Detroit several years ago, back in the early ‘90s. And change the subject. Or…

We were introduced by a mutual friend. True enough…that friend would be me, of course. Or…

We were friends for quite a while before we became lovers. We met in Detroit; I moved away for a few years, we kept in touch via instant messaging during that time becoming closer and closer and we began seeing each other when I came back to Detroit to visit. It got serious, I moved back to Detroit, and the rest is history… Once again, true enough but it's not "the whole truth and nothing but the truth." The devil’s most certainly in the details. Or…

What’s-His-Name saved me. I was trapped in a loveless marriage and he came along and showed me what true love is. I sincerely doubt this is the answer, but ya never know.

Whatever the story is or has evolved to be, I’m quite sure it has little to do with the way things actually happened. I’d love to be a fly on the wall and listen to the response the next time that question’s asked. Or maybe she just turns to what’s-his-name, gives him a look and he starts into “Tangled Up in Blue.”

It could happen.


  1. Um...Wow Buck - I had no idea. Wonder how she does answer the question now - could be very revealing into her thoughts on what happened all those years ago.

    Speaking for The Hubby and I - we met in college (me a freshman, he a senior); I arranged the date - so it was a blind date for him, but not for me. And here we are, together for over 25 years, celebrating our 24th anniversary last week.

    Sometimes you find your soul mate on the first's just lucky.

  2. Hmmm, you've given me an idea for a post of my own...The short version is that we met in Italy when we were both stationed there. The long version will be up on my blog sometime in the near future.

  3. If you check your sitemeter and wonder who showed up, it is just me using the hospital computers that won't let me check my email - makes me crazy.

    Toby and I met at Texas Tech at a mutual friends birthday party at The Saddle Bronc. Toby's story will be different because he does not remember meeting me or much else about that night - yep he was drinking and was very funny. Impressed me.

  4. We were together for 23 years, Kris, and married for 20 of those years. As for me, I thought it was forever. I was wrong. Obviously.

    I'll be looking forward to your post, Becky!

  5. I hope everything is going well with your father-in-law, Lou. My thoughts and prayers are with you...

    I'm glad you found a computer to use, even though it won't let you check your mail. That's pretty strange, no?

    On meeting your mate while in college, Lou and Kris... I've known a few folks that met and married either while in school, or shortly thereafter. MOST of those marriages are successful, too. I wonder if that's indicative of something/anything...or if it's just serendipity (on my part, and the folks I know in that boat).

  6. Current one, I took the initiative. Broke ALL the rules. Began with the end in mind, treated it just like a software design & architecture project, knew exactly what kind of woman I wanted to find, what to avoid, and then -- I went online. It was the only place I could do my profiling.

    Worked out GREAT. To be realistic about it, I think my planning and architecture talents deserve a lot less credit, than the fact that she's simply a wonderful person. Beautiful, unselfish, talented...gets me a beer when I want one, and makes me lunch on top of it all. As a "project," that one went exactly the way we want 'em to go.

    The (long-term) one previous to that, I met by being the sexiest guy in the room. Didn't work out so well. Actually, although I did get a son out of it, and I'm happy for that, this is the relationship that convinced me I should do all my dating online. Throughout my history, the pattern holds true that when a relationship develops from my meeting a woman face-to-face, it ends up being emotionally unsatisfying and frustrating for us both...and costs me a whole lot of money.

    Except for the (long-term) one previous to that. She was a beautiful widow in line behind me when we were waiting to get punch at some kind of party. It was just a few months after my divorce. I was bitter. Wish I had treated that one better. If I could assume your shape of fly-on-the-wall to hear what only one of my exes would say, that would be the one.

    The wife, I met in a bar. Married at 23, divorced at 25. Wow. That was a huge mistake in all kinds of ways.

    Now you're making me think of yet another probably doesn't describe my life too well now, but it sure did back then.

  7. Your track record with on-line dating is MUCH better than mine, Morgan. I did the on-line thing for a few years and mostly met women who were looking for a meal ticket (one, perhaps two dates in those cases), or had what I would call "character flaws." And that's being VERY polite. Again, one or two dates. The longest relationship, and I use the term quite loosely, to come out of an on-line thing was about six months. I knew it was going nowhere, but it was good to have someone to share a bed with. (You ladies may make the de rigeur "Men!" comment at about this point.)

    Lately I've been having serious "second thoughts" about the last ex-girlfriend. I had an extensive conversation with a mutual friend of both she and I last month and learned a few things...things that made me go "hmmm." This particular ex- wanted to get married in the worst sort of way, and I cut her loose when she began pushing the point four months into the relationship... which was quite good in all other aspects, save the "I wanna get married" one. I just wasn't ready for that sort of commitment then, especially not after only four months of knowing each other.

    Water under the bridge or over the dam, in any case. The woman in question married a "real loser" (in the words of our mutual friend) three months after I walked out. I feel very bad about that, and according to my friend, I should. Her words: "Yeah, Buck, you DID screw up. Big time. She really loved you."

    Oh, well. Spilled milk, and all that. But I'm glad to hear you've been successful! Gives me hope, it does.


Just be polite... that's all I ask.