A Happy Camper...

Another candidate enters the crowded field… David Burge, aka IowaHawk, has announced:

My Fellow Americans:

Today, our nation stands at a crossroads. The direction we take from this point forward is critical for us, and for future generations. Some of the roads we can take may now look like scenic shortcuts, but may lead to long term peril. Other roads may seem covered in potholes, but may in fact lead us to the bright promise of a roadside Stuckey's with clean, well-lit restrooms. The stakes are high, and it is important that we have the right leadership behind the wheel to avoid the geopolitical speed traps and navigate our way to a delicious future of pecan logs for all.

That is why I have taken the first step towards announcing my candidacy for the 2008 presidential campaign. I have officially formed an exploratory committee to advise me on this important decision. This blue ribbon panel includes a number of distinguished public service veterans, including Chuck Helbertson, Supervisor of the Cedar County Pool Maintenance Department, and my brother-in-law Steve Lehr, a part-time Driver's Education professional in the Dubuque public school system and defending Late Model Modifieds champion at Eddyville Speedway.

I have not taken this decision lightly. When considering a run for public office, the first thing a candidate must ask himself is: what can I, as newly elected public servant, expect to get out of this deal? I have researched this question thoroughly, and believe me: being President is a pretty sweet gig. Not only does it pay 400 large, it has plenty of perks including "three hots and a cot," and the world's most fearsome military force at my disposal.

The second thing a candidate must ask is: am I qualified for the position? Let's look at the facts. First, I am a native-born citizen of the United States. Second, I am over 35 years old. Third, I have never had a felony conviction stick beyond the appeals court. And Mister, if that's good enough for the Constitution of the United States, then that's good enough for me. Google it.

Burge lays out his platform at the link. But he had me when I read a piece of his environmental policy, to wit:

To further help reduce the nation's carbon footprint, I will order the Environmental Protection Agency to bulldoze the mansions of Al Gore, John Edwards, John Kerry, and Laurie David, and convert them to more eco-friendly use as free public drag strips. And for all serious environmentalists willing to make the ultimate Green sacrifice, I will offer discounted funerals with hybrid hearses, and framed federal carbon credits for their surviving families and animal companions.

Fred Who?

I missed it. In addition to being the 63^rd anniversary of D-Day, yesterday was also the 40^th anniversary of the Six-Day War. Gerard van der Leun noted the occasion by re-publishing his Letter to the Palestinian People (from the Israeli People). Which, by the way, was picked up and re-published today by the Israel National News. As it is with most everything Gerard writes, the Letter is worth your attention, Gentle Reader. And don’t miss the comments.

I’m a Happy Camper today, ‘net-wise. Last I checked I was getting download speeds of 347 kbps, which is the best speed I’ve ever had with this connection, period. My bitch-piss-and-moan foray down to Yucca Telecom, armed with screen shots of bandwidth tests showing me getting all of 57.7 and 39.5 kbps, was successful. A BIG shout-out, tip o’ the hat and a hearty Thank You VERY Much to Bob Turnbaugh of Yucca’s internet support function. Bob took my complaint seriously and spent quite a bit of time diving into the esoteric details of Yucca’s wireless internet service, eventually pin-pointing the issue as a failure in the dynamic bandwidth allocation mechanism on the tower my modem “shoots” to. It seems the tower continued to accept/maintain connections even when the user load saturated the available bandwidth. The end result was an on-going degradation of connection speeds for all involved.

I can even watch YouTube videos in real-time now, rather than load, hit pause and wait for the entire video to download before playing. It’s good to have a fast(er) connection, true. But I still want my fiber connection!! Which may appear sometime this summer. Sometime.

Today’s Pic: The last of the Moab/Arches pics (one should never over-do a good thing, nu?). This is a view of the Fiery Furnace, with snow-capped mountains in the distance. Just to give you an idea of the scale of this formation: those are large TREES—not bushes—in the foreground and among the rocks.