Or mebbe I will. Those of us "of a certain age" are entirely capable of being "just friends" with the opposite sex, and the great majority of my friends are women... speakin' on a personal and therefore purely anecdotal basis. That said, those of us "of a certain age" are much more likely to recognize and honor moral boundaries, such as marriage or other serious commitments (read between the lines here). Further, I'm tryin' to think of a single example of a current woman friend that isn't in some sorta relationship and no one comes to mind. We're not counting casual acquaintances, like one of my single female neighbors whom I'd do in a heartbeat, as if THAT would ever happen. I could tell ya a funny story in this space, but that well and truly would be TMI (aside to SN1: no comments, please).
Tuesday, December 20, 2011
I'm Not Gonna Go There
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Yer right... the guys were reading way too much into a simple question.
ReplyDeleteOh... and I admire your restraint.
v-word = unklisow
There is usually one party who is a bit disappointed in the two gender friend set up.
ReplyDeleteA few years back, I actually had a very attractive Active Duty friend who waited a while to ask, "Are you happy in your relationship?"
After laughing, I said, "Yes, I am".
Her disappointment was in her voice when she mentioned, "You are the first married guy who has ever said that to me."
(By the way, that was the first time I had ever had that question put to me. I do not bad mouth SWWBO.)
The way the question is asked is important. Can men and women be "just" friends implies just friends and not lovers, too. And you are right; the age thang may be important here. All those young men would be lovers in a heart beat, or should I say "hook up" as they said. And yet, they were respecting the boundaries. That is not so different from your answer. If they had asked, "can men and women be friends and lovers too?" that might have changed the girl's answers.
ReplyDeleteOkay Buck...I watched the entire painful 2:59 out of respect for you posting it (unlike someone else who would not look at The Osmonds).
ReplyDeleteJeepers! Were we ever that young and stupid? I guess...probably so.
The answer the question is YES! Heck yeah! Maybe you have to be past college age (a college libary is a stupid place to ask any question you want a serious answer to, btw), but yes, you can be friends with someone of the opposite sex...if you're not a retarded college student.
I have many female friends. I enjoy visiting with them, listening to junk about their kids, grandkids, husbands, job, etc. And, I think that they really do in turn enjoy listening to what's going on with me and mine.
I can count dozens of women as friends. And, I can say honestly that there is no sexual attraction (unless it's coming from them my way...but they would have to speak for themselves. And given the fact that I've NEVER been propositioned, I think they would all say "nah...").
Maybe I would have answered differently when I was young, dumb, and full of "you know what." But, I'm not now. So, I say that YES, men and women can just be friends.
I mean, I'm not gonna take one of the chicks to lunch, or anything. People talk, ya' know...
But, we're still friends.
In HS and College what is the main thing on that age groups mind? Yep you guessed it :)
ReplyDeleteIT: Yeah, Restraint Я Us. Sometimes.
ReplyDeleteDarryl: I've had a lot of people ask if I'm happy in my relationship at the moment. I always answer "yes... it's good to be your own right hand man."
Lou: Good point about the way the question was asked. But when the women were pushed, all of 'em admitted their male friend would "hook up" (I hate that term!) if he had the chance.
Andy: Interesting take. My women friends and I went to lunch all the time when I was working. No one talked... that I know of.
ss: Your point is well-taken too, although that thing seems to stay on mens' minds well into old age. DAMHIK.
After 28 years of Wedded Bliss, neither am I. In fact I am taking the fifth.
ReplyDeleteExceptions are the survivors group ladies and my blog mistresses! Cindy and Joy being the premier amongst those.
I can't believe you brought your neighbor into this.. uh... er... discussion.
ReplyDelete