Saturday, May 21, 2011

Good Game Today


I was gonna add a section to the post below about the suckage of my hockey prognostication skills, seein' as how Boston was up 3-0 at the end of the first period, which was right about the time I put that post up.  I'd predicted Tampa Bay would take this series in six, but Boston is up 2-1 in the series and the first period looked for all the world like the B's were gonna run away with this one.  Rollie the Goalie got chased after that third goal went in and it looked like the Fat Lady was tuning up...

I'm glad I held my peace as the second period was all Yzerbolts, what with three unanswered goals that evened the score.  And now those same Yzerbolts have taken the lead with seven minutes left in the third period.  This is quite the game and it looks like the series will be tied when the shoutin' is all over today.

Let's Go BOLTS!

More Ads I Love to Hate

This one takes the proverbial cake... who among us wants to live life without bein' able to see stuff in HIGH DEFINITION?


It's stuff like this that makes me believe there's NO f*cking hope for America.  The models in this commercial demonstrate new highs in acting ability, no?  I just love all the head nods, the quality testimonials, and the clue-free dude cruising along on his mo'sickle without a helmet.  I hope his new-found HD vision keeps his brains in his head if he unloads...

Cue up ZZ Top.

Friday, May 20, 2011

Beautification Project

It occurred to me that Beautiful La Hacienda Trailer Park needs some sprucing up and I'm goin' to do MY part, said part bein' the installation of some tasteful statuary to be placed somewhere outside of El Casa Móvil De Pennington.  So I bought these:


Really.  I did.  Proof:


I have Scooney to thank for the inspiration.

About Tomorrow...

Our friends at NMA have something to say about that:


And so does Blog-Bud Jim.  Hell, everyone is weighing in on this.  Me?  I'm with Michael Stipe & Co.

Another Reason I Miss Hockey Night In Canada... Two of 'Em, Actually

What if they threw a hockey game and the Green Men didn’t show? We discovered the answer Wednesday as technicians at Rogers Arena in Vancouver appeared to move the camera angle for the penalty box for Game 2 of the Western Conference final to eliminate the unitards from ruining an otherwise decent family program. But the annoying Green Men took a pass on the game, reportedly so that daddy could use the seats. (Or maybe they were stinging from the rebuke delivered by their hero, Don Cherry, back in the Vancouver Canucks-Nashville Predators series.)

CBC got something even more controversial than the Green Men, however: an eye full from a female fan who flashed her breasts live on camera as San Jose Sharks winger Ben Eager made yet another trip to the sin bin in the third period. (Which might explain why the hapless Sharks forward kept getting himself sent to the penalty box so often.) Needless to say Twitter, YouTube and Facebook instantly captured the moment for a waiting world that might have missed the passing shot, replete with allusions to the twins (not Sedin) being good on the glass, and so on.
Versus didn't pick this up but the CBC did, as noted above.  None of the hockey guys I follow on Twitter caught this, either, but then again they're all US-based bloggers and writers.  There's film at 1100 but a picture is worth a thousand words, too.


The twins ARE lookin' good.

Thursday, May 19, 2011

A Re-Re-Run

I was answering comments to the Beemer post below when Dan brought up the subject of replacing the Green Hornet and Anon chimed in with a paean to the wonderful Beemer Three Series, a remarkable automachine with which I had some experience in the way-back.  I wrote about it, too, and will now proceed to bore the hell outta ya with yet another re-re-run which first appeared in these pages a lil over four years ago and again last year.  You know how geezers are with their stories...

A Re-Run

So... a friend e-mailed me to inquire if I'd ever posted any pics of P-Ville in the daylight.  I think she was just being subtle and prolly thinks I'm really a vampire... which isn't too far from the truth if one takes my bizarre sleeping habits into account.  But we digress.  I only make very limited use of Blogger's tag feature so finding pics or posts about certain subjects can be time consuming, if I let it be.  It's way too late at this point to go back over 2800+ posts and categorize each and every one (sigh).

But... that said... I stayed up way too late last night and only just poured my second cup.  Which is a left-handed way of saying "I got nuthin'."  At the moment, anyhoo.  But... in searching for daytime P-Ville pics I came across this lil blurb of a war story you may or may not find interesting.  I added the pics... there was a time when we were short on visuals here at EIP.
Just a little quirky thing I meant to blog, but forgot until just now. My new bike (ed: That would be The Zuki... at right... and since replaced) doesn’t have a petcock on its gas tank. This is the very first bike I’ve owned without one, and that fact drove me nuts the day I took delivery…I looked all over the bike for the danged thing and came to the conclusion that it just wasn’t there. The bike does have a gas gauge, though. Petcocks have become an anachronism, I suppose. I’m not sure if this is a good thing, or a bad thing. Oh, and another thing…the bike is fuel-injected. Another first, for me.

While I’m on the subject…taking delivery of the bike was an “interesting” experience. After signing all the paperwork I was accompanied to the service area by the sales manager. She attached the temporary plate to the bike and then watched as I did my walk-around. I checked various nuts and bolts for tightness, inspected the oil filter area for leaks (and tightness), eyeballed the wheel alignment, checked the chain tension…and, to keep the litany down to a manageable level, just performed a general inspection. I only asked one question: “How do I open the seat?” The answer wasn’t obvious, and the sales lady didn’t know. I figured it out, noticing there was a key receptacle just below the tail light. Insert key, twist, seat pops up. Simple. The sales lady thanked me once again for my business and walked away after that, leaving me and my new bike alone together for the first time. I suited up and rode off…

I couldn’t help but contrast this non-ritual with the most amazing delivery experience I ever had, and one that’s not been matched since. That most amazing experience was at BMW’s Delivery Center in Munich. (ed: the Delivery Center wasn't quite so fancy when I picked up my car in 1982)  The Second Mrs. Pennington and I took delivery of a 1983 320i there in the fall of 1982. In Baltic Blue…just like the one at left. Yeah, it looks gray. I thought so, too. But if you've ever seen the Baltic Sea, you understand. Most accurate, those Teutons!

After presenting ourselves at the front desk of the delivery center (where we were signed in), we were escorted into an office where a BMW employee… fluent in English… walked around from behind his desk, introduced himself, and then sat back down behind his desk after we were seated. He verified our identities (passports and other assorted sales and delivery-related papers) and finished processing our paper work. This took all of about 15 minutes and was quite pleasant and efficient. The signing of the paper was concluded with a crisp “So, are you ready to take your new car?” Hell, Yes! Let’s GO!

We were escorted out of his small office and across a rather large area resembling a showroom, with various Beemers sitting around in all their glory. On the far side of the showroom were two sliding glass doors that opened into a spotlessly clean garage area, where our new baby was sitting, along with several other cars. We were met at the door by a middle aged man in a white lab coat. The paper processor introduced us, by name, and informed us Mr. Herr I-Forget-His-Name was going to “introduce” us to our new car.

And introduce us he did. He demonstrated every feature on that car, and I mean every single one…including popping both hood and trunk, showing us where the dipstick was, just to cite one example… demonstrating the oil level was indeed full, in the process. He showed us the fuse box. He showed us the spare, and the jack, and demonstrated how to remove and replace each. He showed us how to tune the flippin’ radio, how to operate the sun roof, adjust the seats…in short, everything imaginable. And then he asked if we had any questions. I had none: the briefing and walk-around, which lasted the better part of 45 minutes, had been more comprehensive than any I’d ever had, before or since. TSMP, honor-bound as she was to never let an opportunity to ask questions pass her by, had a few which were handled politely and with aplomb, even the one or two eye-rollers (on my part and my part alone).

The ritual ended with the signing of a delivery form, we were handed maps and detailed instructions on how to reach the autobahn (after being discreetly asked if we were leaving Munich right away), and we were out the door. Literally, accompanied by hand waves of good-bye and shouted exhortations to “Enjoy your new Beh-Emm-Vay!!” And we did…from that moment on and for ten years hence.

I marveled about that experience for months, if not years. It was extraordinary. And that was for a bottom-of-the-line Beemer. Lord only knows what hoops they jump through if you buy an expensive one… It’s been a while since I thought about that experience, but taking delivery of my bike brought it back into focus. Bright, sharp focus.
Well... I said you MIGHT find this interesting, didn't I?
I published both of these re-runs in the month of April in years past.  There's this Ol' Saw about "Spring... when a young man's fancy turns to love" or sumthin' like that.  Apparently an OLD Man's fancy turns to thoughts of new cars at this particular time, which may or may not be related to love as most people know it.  I think there MIGHT be a connection, yanno? 

Want



Heh.  What's NOT to like?  Plane pr0n and car pr0n, together!

And now... to bed.

Wednesday, May 18, 2011

Suck It (Up), Neemee


Game Two of the WCF was a rout.  Vancouver got three power play goals, Kevin Bieksa got a Gordie Howe Hat Trick, and the Canucks go up 2-0 in the series.  It's far from over, as each of these teams went up three-zip in a previous series and wound up playin' seven games after it looked like it was all over but the shoutin'.  This could be more of the same but I kinda doubt it... Vancouver just looked too good.

Still and even, it was very gratifying to watch San Jose get their collective asses handed to them.  VERY gratifying.

Thanks, Blogger. Thanks For NUTTIN'.



And thanks to Skip, too, although I MEAN it when giving kudos to Skip... coz he was the one who clued me in to the fact Blogger finally got around to retrieving the Lost Posts of Thursday Past (could that be a Reality Teevee show?  It might could be, seein' as how that premise would have about as much snap as your average reality show... mebbe more.  But we digress.).  I really shouldn't be too hard on Blogger, though.  "Ya gets what ya pays for" is still as true as it ever was.

I'm thinkin' we'll just let bygones remain bygones, as two-thirds of Thursday's output was snarky hockey posts that make me look bad, given the outcome of certain events out in LaLaLand last Thursday evening.  And we don't especially want to relive that, Gentle Reader.

Pretty Cool

I hardly ever link to anything in Slate due to its mostly moonbat content but this piece is just pretty danged cool:
In the likely event that the Senate confirms Gen. David Petraeus as the CIA's next director in the coming months, he'll retire from the military and start wearing civvies to work.* This will mean hanging up one of the most decorated uniforms currently in active service. What do all those medals, ribbons, and badges mean? Hover over the highlighted sections of the photographs below to find out. 
Here's a screen-cap:


I read through the descriptions of all of Gen. Petraeus' medals and badges and it looks like Mr. Singer-Vine did his homework well.  That, in and of itself, is a rarity among journalists writing about the military these days.

(h/t: a re-tweet from blakehounshell)

Tuesday, May 17, 2011

Interesting

You could cue up Arte Johnson after that "interesting" title, to wit: "But STOOPID."  From my congresscritter's newsletter, which hit my in-box moments ago:

Americans pay the price of Loose Monetary Policy and Quantitative Easing at the Pump

A weak U.S. dollar due to the Federal Reserve's unprecedented pumping of dollars into the American economy is adding 56 and a half cents* to the price of every gallon of gasoline, according to a new study by the Joint Economic Committee Republican staff.


Titled The Price of Oil and the Value of the Dollar, the study notes the value of the U.S. dollar has declined 14 percent since the Federal Reserve began its program of quantitative easing in November of 2008. With oil an international commodity that trades in U.S. dollars, the declining value of the dollar has added $17.04* per barrel to the price of Brent Crude oil. Crude oil is the primary input in the process of making gasoline.


Americans are paying a steep price at the pump as a result of the weak dollar policies pursued by this Administration and the Federal Reserve. There are two lessons here. Rather than pointing fingers at energy manufacturers the President should be looking to his own Treasury and the Fed for answers to the high price of fuel. And this drives home the point that the Federal Reserve should have one mandate, price stability, to prevent inflation and preserve the value of the U.S. dollar.

Read more here.

Ah, yes.  The Fed.  They're a day late and we're a dollar-three-ninety-eight SHORT.  Bernanke will burn in hell, I'm convinced of that.  Asshat.

Broadening XXIV, Teh Funny, and Today's Happy Hour Soundtrack

We're just in from an uneventful re-supply run, where we cut corners and bought beer at Wally-World instead of the beer store, which is our usual practice.  But Wally-World surprises me at times... and this is indicative:


From that Lil Ol' Brewery in Shiner, Tejas... it's Bohemian (style) Black Lager, rated B- at Beer Advocate.  I'd go a notch higher and give it a full-blown "B" but I'm easy, yanno?  Our cigar today is (what's left of) one of those Nica Libre 1990s I was on about yesterday.

―:☺:―

My Buddy Ed In Florida comes through again:
The economy is so bad that...
I got a pre-declined credit card in the mail.

Wives are having sex with their husbands because they can't afford batteries.

CEOs are now playing miniature golf.

A stripper was killed when her audience showered her with rolls of pennies while she danced.

I saw a Mormon with only one wife.

If the bank returns your check marked "Insufficient Funds," you call them and ask if they meant you or them.

Angelina Jolie adopted a child from America .

My cousin had an exorcism but couldn't afford to pay for it, so they re-possessed her!

A picture is now only worth 200 words.

When Bill and Hillary travel together, they now have to share a room.

Congress says they are looking into this Bernard Madoff scandal. Oh Great! The guy who made $50 Billion disappear is being investigated by the people who made $1.5 Trillion disappear!

I was so depressed last night thinking about the economy, wars, jobs, my savings, Social Security, retirement funds, etc., I called the Suicide Hotline. I got a call center in Pakistan , and when I told them I was suicidal, they got all excited, and asked if I could drive a truck. 
Some of these have a lotta miles on 'em, but a couple were new to me.  They're ALL good, though.

―:☺:―

We're listening to Neil today...


That would be the acoustic take which is just as good as the full-blown rocker.  It's understood that YMMV, Gentle Reader, but we're in a mellow mood today.

Yup



But it ain't to laugh, izzit?

(From the Usual Source)

Monday, May 16, 2011

Swag

We're just back from retrieving today's mail, the most important part o' which was the periodic cigar resupply... a box o' these, in the Imperial size:


But that wasn't all.  There was also a freebie in the box.  Allow me to model it for ya, Gentle Reader.



Do I look like Fidel, or what?  OK, I guess I do need the beard...  But, Hey!  I think the hat is pretty danged cool, and I needed a new hat.

Rumo(u)rs

Are the Thrashers moving to Winnipeg?  It's all up in the air right now but speaking from an admittedly and strictly personal perspective I certainly hope so.  I have nothing against Atlanta but I would DEARLY love to see the NHL re-align the conferences, which would be a certainty if the Thrashers move to the Great White Up.  Here's Mr. Wyshynski on that subject:
• Obviously, if the Thrashers move, the next skate to drop will be realignment. Here's a take on the Columbus Blue Jackets, Detroit Red Wings and Nashville Predators, and which team could be headed back East should Atlanta leave: "One could make a case that the conferences are more about time zones than pure geography. For Columbus and Detroit, being the two Eastern Time Zone clubs in the Western Conference means playing 30-plus road games out of time zone, including eight games that are three time zones away. That makes for lots of 10:30 starts, which can be difficult for non-vampires. Nashville, in the Central Time Zone, never plays a road game that starts after 9:30 p.m. local time." [Puck-Rakers]

• Here's a long article looking at the Thrash, the Coyotes, Winnipeg and Columbus Blue Jackets realignment to the East. [The Cannon]
Leave the Blue Jackets in Columbus and move Dee-troit, please.  The Jackets are about 60 years away from bein' any kind of contender while the travel schedule just KILLS the Wings, year after year after year.  And just think:  I could get back to REALLY hatin' on those Leafs.  Win-win.

Silly Season

The Silly Season is almost upon us, what with potential GOP candidates declaring their intentions left and right these days.  Just this past weekend... and today, if you wanna include Monday as the weekend as I do, because I CAN... two much talked-about possible candidates declared their non-candidacies: Huckabee and Trump.  I put both these announcements in the "good" category as neither man would have received my support and one of them has my contempt ("You're FIRED!").  The field narrows accordingly and that's a pretty good thing.

I said there was all sorts of stuff coming from left and right field, didn't I?  Well, there's this from LEFT field:
Says Andrew Stiles of NRO, “Newt Gingrich’s appearance on ‘Meet the Press’ today could leave some wondering which party’s nomination he is running for.” DrewM at Ace’s site thinks it’s yet another illustration of Newt’s loose-cannon lack of message discipline, but I can’t believe that; he surely must have considered how this will play in the primaries, especially after the pounding Romney just took on the right for his health-care speech. What’s his strategy? Maybe he’s decided his shot at the nomination is so long that his only chance is by Mediscaring seniors, who famously turn out in high numbers at the polls, into backing him. Paul Ryan’s budget has played remarkably well with the 65+ crowd thus far, but an AP poll taken late last year, before he introduced his plan, found even Republican seniors opposed privatizing Medicare to the tune of 71 percent. If professional Smart Guy Newt Gingrich is now warning them that Ryan’s gone too far, their jitters about reform may make them inclined to believe him. It’s desperate, but since he’s not going to win with support from the GOP’s right, why not pander to its left? I just hope he’s prepared for the relentless beating he’ll rightly take in conservative media for kneecapping Ryan at a moment when deficit hawks are frantic to move national opinion on entitlement reform via a unified party message. He’s handed the left a campaign commercial here and they’re already using it.
Oh, Newt.  Now you've gone and done it, Buddy.  Here I was... all set to put one of your campaign badges in my sidebar and you go and blow it.  It's beyond "blow it," actually, waaay beyond.  I could forgive your various personal indiscretions and could even look the other way when you sat on that sofa with The Wicked Witch of the West, coz I've yet to find ANY politician with whom I agree completely.  But you screwed da pooch with your comments about Ryan's plan (I, too, am "over 65" and I approve of Young Mr. Ryan).  Bad mistake, Newt, BAD mistake.  And now my vote is back up for grabs.

Rudy?  You there, Bud?

Sunday, May 15, 2011

Quote of the Day

OK, it's not your fault that you are not a hockey fan. Some people were simply born without souls (though John Cummins might see it as a life choice). You really shouldn't blame yourself for being an anti-social lone gunman/stalker type.

Besides, it's still possible to fit in if you really want to. Just learn to sprinkle the conversation with a few key points and you, too, can pass yourself off as a Canucks fan.
First runner up, from the same source:
Periodically, a man who looks like Col. Sanders' angry brother will appear on screen, dressed in a suit that appears to have been sewn from the Von Trapps' drapes by Fraulein Maria, or perhaps Colin and Justin.
This is Don Cherry, whom Canadians voted into seventh place on the CBC's list of greatest Canadians, one spot behind Lester Pearson and just ahead of Sir John A. Macdonald. Think of this the next time you laugh at Americans for voting for Sarah Palin.
Heh.  Read the whole thing if'n you're a hockey fan; those without souls may take a pass.  That said... I can't believe my luck today.  I find a guy who snarks both at non-hockey fans AND Mrs. Palin in the same piece and that's hard to do!  I think we'll kick off Happy Hour early to celebrate.  I have to get in the proper mood for the first WCF game, eh?  (It must be said:  Mrs. Palin IS a hockey fan and I give her props for that.) 

Beer me!

(h/t:  The Usual [hockey] Source)

Added somewhat later:  So I was scrolling down through the photos at the Palin link above and came upon this:


Thank The Deity At Hand for small favors.

I Knew It Would Come to This...



Beeler ain't the first guy to play with this thought, either.  I think I first heard it on Red Eye last Friday night when Gutfeld & Co got a lot o' mileage out o' this.  But so did all the folks contributing to #binLadenpr0n.  

As for me?  Meh.  What was that about the banality of evil?

Verizon

Ya know those ads you love to hate?  Well, this ISN'T one of those:


That ad makes me smile, especially the way Lil Susie is dressed.  And the VCs.  Heh.

OK, that one is cool... and it's 180 degrees out of the overplayed and f*cking clue-FREE Verizon hockey-themed ads.  Like this.  And this:  


"Ovechtrick," my ass.  I gotchyer Ovechtrick, Verizon... right here.  Stick to what you know and stay the hell away from hockey, mmm-kay?  Coz these things ain't cute, they're just annoying.

Saturday, May 14, 2011

Wow.


It looks like (a) the Tampa Bay Lightning are for REAL and (b) the Bruins-Lightning series could be VERY short.  It wasn't even close tonight, it was never close: Lightning 5, Bruins 2... with Boston's second goal coming too late to make any difference at all.

The Lightning dominated in almost every category, with Boston better only in total number of hits.  The Boston power play was non-existent and their penalty killing was worse, allowing TB's league-leading power play to go one-for-three.  And that was enough.

I originally thought the Lightning would take this series in six; I may have to rethink that based on what I saw tonight.