Aging

So... as our birthday creeps inexorably closer (at which time we shall officially become a geezer) our friends of similar age keep sending along reminders of all the future fun stuff that lies in store... like this from Good Friend Katy:

This is dedicated to all of us who are seniors, to all of you who know seniors, and to all of you who will become seniors. It pays to be able to laugh about it when you are! 

"WHERE is my SUNDAY paper?!" The irate customer calling the newspaper office loudly demanded to know where her Sunday edition was.

"Madam", said the newspaper employee, "today is Saturday. The Sunday paper is not delivered until tomorrow, on SUNDAY".

There was quite a long pause on the other end of the phone, followed by a ray of recognition as she was heard to mutter, "Well, shit, so that's why no one was at church today."

Yup.  Fun stuff.  I can't wait.

―:☺:―

Speaking of fun stuff... Spring on The High Plains of New Mexico:

We'll be taking Happy Hour indoors for the next two days.  And then we shall return to normal operations. 

Only in America...

... could a new budget-busting entitlement that some estimate as adding $460 billion to the federal deficit over the next ten years and $1.4 TRILLION dollars to that same deficit in the following ten years be described in this manner:

Before discussing the jobs bill, Mr. Obama lauded the Congressional Budget Office analysis released this morning showing the reconciled health care bill will cost $940 billion over 10 years.

The bill, he said, would bring "$1.3 trillion in deficit reduction over the next two decades," according to the CBO analysis.

He called it "the most significant effort to reduce deficits since the balanced budget act in the 1990s" and encouraged lawmakers to keep that in mind when they take their "important vote" on the measure "this weekend."

I'm sure there was video of the Rose Garden remarks yesterday; I'm equally sure the video of the president was shot from the waist up to avoid showing his frickin' pants spontaneously bursting into flames when he made those deficit reduction remarks. 

I saw Rep. Paul Ryan on Charlie Rose last night and his deficit numbers (the ones you see in the lead paragraph) are significantly different.  There's a 12-minute video of Rep. Ryan's remarks on Charlie Rose's web site but the video is not embeddable, unfortunately.  The 12 minutes this video runs is well worth your time to view, mainly because Ryan is short on rhetoric and long on facts.  It's beside the point, really, but I LIKE this Ryan guy.

So... the debate on the healthcare numbers comes down to a massive game of "Who Do You Trust?"  I certainly do NOT trust The One or his minions.  It also comes down to how in the Hell are we going to pay for this massive new entitlement?  The short answer is "we can't."  We're broke, the checkbook is empty, and yet the Democrats continue to spend.  A complete gub'mint melt-down and economic ruin is sure to follow.  Kinda like this:

Brace, Ladies and Gentlemen.  Brace.

Apropos O' Nuthin'

So, there we were... sittin' outside enjoying one of our premature birthday presents and a cool Franziskaner when a random thought popped into my brain about Partagas-past.  Specifically the Partagas 150, about which:

Lets get the facts out of the way shall we? The Partagas 150 (Signature Series B) weighs in at 6.5 inches with a 47 ring. It features a Cameroon wrapper, Mexican binder and a mix of Dominican and Mexican filler. I’ve seen boxes of 25 of the Signature Series B go for anywhere from $600-$925 and the Partagas 150 are considered one of the rarest or at least the hardest to find cigars. The Partagas 150 was originally released in 1995 to celebrate the 150th Anniversary of the Partagas brand.

I have some experience with this fine cigar, seeing as how I gifted a friend of mine with a box of same for his birthday back in 1995 when they were released.  The going rate at that time was a whole helluva lot less than what they're selling for these days... something on the order of $200.00/box, if memory serves.  Anyhoo, my friend and I burned a couple of these on his deck, sipping on a couple o' fingers of single malt while watching the sun meet the horizon in the way-back.  Those 150s were excellent, not to put too fine a point on it.

Fast-forward to a couple o' few years later when we found ourselves doing the same sorta thing out in San Francisco and reminiscing about fine whiskey, women, and smokes in our past.  My friend brought up the 150s and mentioned, casually, "I wished to hell I'd a known what I had there.  Do you know I burned most of those ridin' around on my mower, doin' the lawn?"   I just laughed and said "Whatever!  As long as ya enjoyed them..."

I shoulda bought a box of those for myself, but I didn't.  I'd a probably smoked 'em all up doin' the lawn, anyway.

Today's soundtrack is some Savoy Brown from the '70s:

Yea, it's a hard way to go...

Low & Slow Plane Pr0n

The F-35B in hover mode:

That happened for the first time a couple o' days ago.  From today's Air Force Association Daily Report:

Making STOVL Hover: Lockheed Martin announced March 17 that the F-35B short takeoff/vertical landing (STOVL) variant had demonstrated its hover capability during a test flight at NAS Patuxent River, Md. The test, according to a company release, "confirmed predictions of the jet's vertical thrust, stability, and control in hovering flight." F-35 lead STOVL pilot Graham Tomlinson took off conventionally before converting to STOVL mode at 200 knots airspeed. Tomlinson then slowed the aircraft to 60 knots and flew a decelerating approach to a zero airspeed hover at 150 feet above the runway, marking the first free air hover in the F-35B. Following execution of controllability test points in the hover mode, he executed a STOVL landing at 70 knots. Later in the day, BF-1 performed the first F-35 short takeoff. Next step for the Marine Corps variant of the strike fighter is its first vertical landing.

A little more here... if'n you're into STOVL fighters.

Of Minor Interest...

... and only for hockey fans, but most especially Red Wings fans.  Ryan Dixon had an article in yesterday's Hockey News (Top Shelf: Shanny recalls one distinct donnybrook) that was (a) pretty danged good and (b) rang a bell for me, loud and clear.  Here are the bell-ringing bits:

...the other built on the sport’s best-ever rivalries.

The ferocious late-‘90s feud between the Detroit Red Wings and Colorado Avalanche is certainly one of those.

Rivalries are most naturally born out of geography or a long, shared history of battles. But the clash between Detroit and Colorado was bloody competition in its purest form because it had nothing to do with proximity or the past – heck, the Avs were in their first year in Denver when the teams met for the West final in 1996.

Unfortunately, the bickering boiled over in that series only after Kris Draper was the victim of an incredibly cheap hit by Claude Lemieux.

Colorado won that series in six games, then took the Cup, leaving Detroit fans to ponder another failed season and a championship drought that stretched back to 1955.

The Wings began the next season by adding Brendan Shanahan. They finished it by winning the first of back-to-back titles, beating out the Avs in the playoffs after beating them down in the famous Joe Louis Arena March mash-up that many – including Shanny – believe provided a big thrust in the Wings’ Cup push.


[...]


To wit: After playing three gloves-on games to start the year, the Wings opted to extract their revenge during a brawl that included Shanahan and Patrick Roy doing their best Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon impression before Roy and Mike Vernon got down to business.

If you chase the "Crouching Tiger" link above you'll be treated to one of hockey's BEST on-ice brawls evah... in its entirety.  I've written about "Fight Night at The Joe" before, most recently when Darren McCarty retired late last year.  I watched that game, which is second only to Game Four of the 1997 Stanley Cup Final in my personal pantheon of great hockey games (this year's Olympic Final would be third-best), wherein the Wings won their first Cup in 42 years (It got really drunk out that night).  And McCarty got the winner in that one (I posted video of that beauteous goal in the McCarty retirement post, above).  But the best part about Fight Night at The Joe?  It was on my birthday.

The BEST birthday present, evah.  And I'm NOT kidding.

Baby Evil

From Haaretz.com... "IN PICTURES / Danish artist dresses her baby as Hitler, exploring the meaning of evil." Here's an excerpt and a photo:

"We all have evil within us. Even small children are evil towards each other," Danish-Norwegian artist Nina Maria Kleivan tells Haaretz as she explains why she chose to dress up her baby daughter as the most evil historical figures of the 20th century.

"Even my daughter could end up ruling Denmark with an iron fist. The possibility is still there. You never know."

In the controversial photo-series "Potency," Kleivan's daughter Faustina, then a few months old, depicts such infamous personalities as Joseph Stalin, Benito Mussolini, Saddam Hussein, Ayatollah Khomeini, Chairman Mao, Idi Amin, Augusto Pinochet, Slobodan Milosevic, and Adolf Hitler. The aim is to illustrate just one thing: We all begin life the same. We all have every opportunity ahead of us. To do good, or inexplicable evil. 

The entire article and more pictures of the artist's daughter dressed as evil historical figures (as noted above) are at the link; you see Mussolini above.  Bizarre.

(h/t: a tweet from Andy Levy)

Today's Happy Hour Soundtrack

The Allman Bros...

Never mind the illiteracy of the YouTube poster ("almon?"  Sheesh.  Some fan.)... the lyrics just seem to fit our day.  In part:

Go on downtown baby
Find somebody to love
Meanwhile I ain't wastin' time no more
'Cause time goes by like pouring rain
And much faster things
You don't need no gypsy to tell you why
You can't let one precious day slip by
Look inside yourself
And if you don't see what you want
Maybe sometimes then you don't
But leave your mind alone and just get high

Heh.  Well, leave us not get into the lyrics' deeper psychological ramifications.  Keep in mind we're all about "leavin' our mind alone and just gettin' high." Kinda sorta. That said, this particular vid was the only studio version of the tune I could find.  It'll do. 

"Ain't Wastin' Time No More" is just about the perfect tune for the perfect day (see above) and we were sorely tempted to take a picture of the perfect pour to accompany this post.  Alas, we drank that perfect pour... about two inches of frothy head over a cloudy golden live-yeast infused brew... instead.  You'll have to live with our assertion that the pour was perfect.  As always, because we're good like that.  Which comes from years of experience, yanno?  And now it's back outside to continue (and you know the rest)...

Update, three minutes later:  A subsequent pour and just for the record... I lied.  An inch and just a wee bit more head.  Sue me.

Topical

If you're Irish or of Irish descent (read as: you have a blood relative you've actually hugged at some point in time that is at least half Irish)...  Happy St. Paddy's Day.

If you're not:  You don't need an excuse to drink Guinness.  It's there 7x24x365.  So's Jameson.

Everyone:  The first sumbitch that brings food coloring near MY beer gets it.

(h/t: Lex)

Don't Think Twice... It's Alright

We spent the better part of our day gettin' "organized" (and I use the term loosely) so we could file our taxes in a couple o' few days hence.  Coz it IS that time o' year, Gentle Reader, or nearly so.  I know there are those among you that will think "What?  I've had my refund for a month already!"  And I understand that.  But I'm not among those who feel it's reasonable and prudent to give the gub'mint an interest-free loan of MY money for any length of time.  We nearly always end up owing our Favorite Uncle a small amount of money come the Ides of April... which would be larger still if it weren't for those damnable penalties for "under-withholding."  Which is to say the bastards kind folks at the IRS get you comin' or goin'.  But we digress.

The thought occurred to us as we were goin' through our checkbook register...well, make that Quicken... this morning that tax time isn't NEAR the burden it used to be before the advent of the 'net and applications like MS-Money, Quicken, and end-of-year accounting reports from those good folks at CitiBank and our brokerage firm.  If one has half a brain one can avail one's self of accounting tools that, barring complications in one's financial life... like too much money... make this tax thing fairly easy.  Or easier than it used to be.  Still and even, one longs for Former Happy Days when professional help in the form of accountants was necessary... not to mention reasonable and prudent... if only for the significant delta in the personal bottom line between then and now.  But those days are long behind us now that we're drawing a pittance of pensions and Social Security.  And we are arguably happier, seeing as how we have enough of that folding stuff to indulge our vices and live a life largely free of financial worry.  The luck o' the draw, and all that... or, as a former associate of mine used to say:  "there's no one happier than a wino who can afford his own wine."  That would be us.

So.  It was organizing we were on about today. We've downloaded and installed TurboTax.  We've got all our 1099s and such in one place.  We've totaled up all our medical deductions and charitable contributions.  We are ready.  But we didn't pull the trigger, seeing as how the weather gods are smiling upon us today... and today's bright sunshine and moderate temperatures were a balm after yesterday's dreariness.  We called it a day after all that organizing stuff was done and adjourned to the Great Outdoors to burn a cigar and quaff a couple o' brews.  The actual doin' of the tax thing can wait until tomorrow.... or maybe the day after.

Don't think twice... it's alright.

Heh

Is that true or WHAT?

Feh

The rest o' the world may be on Daylight Saving Time but we remain trapped in Standard Time, and we're not liking it at all.  We've yet to really get into our Daily Rounds and are only about half-way into our first cup.  I suspect my mood will improve once I'm fully caffeinated and have read the offerings my bright shiny Blog-Buds put up every day.  I hope.  Don't be lettin' me down, Blog-Buds.  Just don't.

Looking out on the morning rain ain't doing my mood any wonders, either.  (BTW... Thankya, Ms. King.  See this if'n ya don't know from whence I speak.  Her version of that tune is The Best, too.  Which takes nothing away from 'Retha.)  (We are the Prince o' Digressions.)  Here's the Official WX Status here on The High Plains:

Which depresses me even more, as I have to get out in this krep once I've fortified myownself.  That, or risk having my internet account terminated, which would be a catastrophe of unimaginable proportions.  In other words... today is the due date for said bill.  Now we normally don't wait until the very last minute to settle up our obligations as a matter of course.  No, we don't.  That said, there are some bills I like to pay in person and my ISP is one, given as how my ISP is Yucca Telecom, a small-town sorta bid'niz and not at ALL like the megaliths I used to deal with.  Dropping in to Yucca and chatting with the nice folks there is fun, or as much fun as bill-paying can be.  I went by there Friday to drop a Grant and a Lincoln or two on those fine folks but they were closed.   There was this hand-lettered sign on the door saying "Yucca Telecom will be closed all day Friday March 12, 2010 so our employees can attend the funeral of XXX, our beloved friend and co-worker.  Please accept our apologies for the inconvenience."

Small towns.  Gotta love 'em.

Just so's your visit to these parts ain't a total downer, Gentle Reader, there this:  a new to me website called "Smashing Lists."  And more specifically the portion of said site devoted to Odd Stuff.  Like this:

The Kimberley Diamond Mine (also known as the Big Hole) holds the (disputed) title of being the largest hand-dug hole in the world.

That's from the Top Ten Strange Holes list.  There's more (and arguably better, like the "Nature" section) at Smashing Lists, which I found to be a serious time waster.

Update, 1400 hrs:  Good Friend Kath sends along an article noting the time change is dangerous for all involved.  Part of my response:

The study also says the time change increases other risks, like heart-attacks and car accidents.

Aiiieee!

Heh.  I'm just in from running the days errands and noticed there aren't many smiling faces being displayed today.  It might be the time change, or it might be the weather... which is none too nice.  Just an observation... but it seems I ain't the only grump in P-Ville today.

Heart attacks.  One begins to worry about such things when one reaches a certain age.  Not that we're there yet, of course.  Just sayin'.

Spring Forward

Sucks.

I woke up at 1230 hrs.  I poured my first cup at 1245 hrs.  I missed all but the final 11 minutes (and the OT) of the Caps - 'Hawks game.  The day is NOT beginning well.

Today's Soundtrack

I was over at Blog-Bud Kris' place earlier today to listen to her Saturday Selections.  Her mood is weather-driven, what with New England experiencing a cold and rainy sort of day, and her selections reflected that same mood... which is to say quiet and reflective.  I dropped a comment saying we were on opposite ends of both the weather and music spectrum and I would probably choose something big and bouncy for today's Happy Hour.

Well... check that.  Here's what we began with:

That's Jefferson Airplane, as you can plainly see from the title.  Acoustic JA.  Which, to my way of thinking, was their best stuff.  I was quite taken with the young Grace Slick and her band, like most guys in my generation.  The bloom came off the rose rather quickly for me, considering I thought their very early work was their best work.  My love affair with JA ended with the release of "Volunteers," and their reincarnation as Jefferson Starship was nothing but a laughing matter.  Pathetic.  Still and even... I bought "Bark," from whence the above tune comes.  It was arguably the best cut on the album and was penned by Jorma Kaukonen, which leads us to where we're really going... today's soundtrack.

We're listening to a couple of albums by Hot Tuna, an offshoot of the Airplane  formed by Mr. Kaukonen and bassist Jack Casady.  Hot Tuna did both electric and acoustic work, and fine work it was (is!).  All my Airplane stuff is on vinyl, as is most of my Hot Tuna.  But I took the trouble to replace my vinyl Hot Tuna with CDs, and they still get a lot of airplay.  Here's one such tune we're listening to this afternoon:



That would be Water Song, which is pretty reminiscent of "Third Week," innit?  But... for me, personally... one of the best reasons Hot Tuna had it all over the Airplane was their dedication to roots music, which is to say... blues.   And here's one of their best:



So.  We have the first album and "Burgers" queued up in the CD player this afternoon.  The weather is warm, the beer cool, and life is GOOD, Gentle Reader.

More From My Friend

The same lady who sent along "Jose" below also sends this:

My friend posted this on Facebook & although I stole it & posted it too, I was afraid y'all wouldn't see it.  Absolutely hilarious!

...Only in Arab...or Blount County. This is a true story- A lady in Arab cares for a mentally challenged man in Blount County. She called to check on him before retiring to bed, night before last. He told her about his day, then before hanging up he said "by the way, I caught a troll today". She didn't think much about it at the time, because he is mentally challenged and had said some things in the past that were kind of "off the wall". Yesterday, she was unable to go by and see him, but he was still saying he had caught a troll. Today, when she went by to check on him, after chatting for a while, she asked him "now tell me about that troll". He said "oh, I've still got it!". He took her into his bedroom, and all of his furniture was pushed against the closet door and she could hear someone yelling for help. A midget Jehovah's Witness had knocked on his door two days before and he caught him. True story.

I STILL crack up every time I even think about this.

So... it's yet another beautiful day here on The High Plains of New Mexico.  I spent the best part of the morning out and about, just reveling in the warm temps and relatively calm atmosphere.  I fully expect to see my cherry tree burst into bloom any ol' day now.

This HAS to Be California

This financial crisis is forcing State and local agencies to make some tough decisions.  If things continue for much longer, there's a real risk that we may have to lay off Jose.  

Sent by a friend...

Necessity Is the Mother of Invention

We Don't Often Abuse That "Fair Use" Thing... BUT...

From the WaPo's DC Sports Blog:

White House responds to "Barack the Red"

A bit more than 24 hours after Barack the Red was launched, dedicated to the mission of luring Barack Obama to a Caps game, the White House responded to the request. No, I'm not joking.

White House press secretary Robert Gibbs, of course, had lost an Olympic-themed bet that required him to wear a Canadian hockey jersey to his briefing on Friday, which he eventually swapped out for a USA model. Puck talk was thus in the briefing-room air, which was all the opening that some noble media soul needed. Would love to know who that soul was, incidentally.

Here's the transcript.

Read the whole thing and you might wanna chase the link to see Baghdad Bob Gibbs in a Team Canada jersey.  Or not.  Some things are just TOO much and that would be one.  Anyhoo... that said... hockey don't need The One, thank ya very much.  Stay AWAY, Mr. President.  Far, far away.  

Just sayin'.

Premature...

... or early, if you will... birthday present:

That would be a box of Partagas Spanish Rosados in the Familia size.  We're only about two weeks away from our birthday so that's close enough, innit?

You can see the beer is poured, so it's time we fired one of these puppies up and got our Tired Old Ass out into the sun for Happy Hour.  And (early) HAPPY Birthday to me, from me.

You're a Cop. Which Would YOU Choose?

Ford's new Police Interceptor?

At a private fleet sales event in Las Vegas today, Ford finally took the wraps off a new generation Police Interceptor model based on the 2010 Taurus. The new car has big shoes to fill as the Crown Vic has accounted for 70 percent of all police vehicle sales over the past five years.

[...]

The base model gets the 3.5-liter V6 found in other Tauruses with over 263 horsepower and 250+ lb-ft of torque. This naturally aspirated 3.5-liter engine is flex-fuel capable and gets 25-percent better fuel efficiency than the 4.6-liter V8 in the Crown Vic. The base models are available with either front- or all-wheel-drive. The top end pursuit version of the new Police Interceptor gets the full SHO powertrain including its 365-hp twin-turbo EcoBoost 3.5-liter V6 and all-wheel-drive as standard.

Or Chevy's Caprice (actually a re-badged Aussie Holden)?

Well, it's official. General Motors has resurrected the Australian-built Zeta sedan for North America, only this time around, it's just for the cops. Set to arrive in your local muni's police fleet in 2011 is the Chevrolet Caprice police patrol vehicle (PPV). First thing's first: it is not the Holden Commodore, a.k.a. Pontiac G8 (rest in peace). It's a left-hand-drive version of the long-wheelbase, Zeta-platform Holden Caprice/Statesman. Many of you already know that this car is also sold in the Middle East as, you guessed it, the Chevy Caprice. Also, as had been rumored – you can't buy one. It's a fleet special only, and we can envision fistfights breaking out over these at police auctions in a few years. 

The Caprice Cop Special gets an E85-compatible 6.0-liter V8 dishing out 355 horsepower and 385 lb/ft of torque, and as you'd expect, the engine's duly ruggedized for police duty with oil, transmission and power steering coolers, along with a heavy duty alternator. And yes, the brakes and suspension are uprated. Cue the Elwood Blues litany whenever you're ready. 

 MY department would choose the Caprice.  There wouldn't be one single damned front-wheel-drive (ptui!) or bastardized AWD car in my fleet.  And besides that... we have a VERY soft spot in our heart for the last edition of the Caprice... specifically our late lamented Impala SS... which was a tarted up Caprice with a Vette motor.  I MISS that car.  And so do thousands of cops all over these United States.

Images from the respective autoblog articles.

Wish I Could Be There

Red Wings TeeVee takes a trip out to Selfridge ANGB just northeast of Dee-troit in honor of "Military Appreciation Night" at The Joe this evening.  The clip contains some medium grade plane pr0n which is why I'm posting it, among other things (like nostalgia for Former Happy Days).

Well.  We sure would like to be at The Joe tonite, if only to get one of those cool Red Wings dogtags.  Not to mention the hockey, of course.

That said... I feel a major digression comin' on.  It's good to see Selfridge has a mission again... flying KC-135s and A-10s.  The base had no mission at all back in the day when I lived in Deetroit... other than hosting drill weekends and the like... and was on and off the BRAC list several times (IIRC).  Still and even I was grateful for the commissary and BX at Selfridge and made a pilgrimage out that way every month without fail.  It's good to see the Michigan ANG back in the fight.  

Apropos of nothing... Selfridge used to be the home of Air Defense Command's (ADC) 661st Radar Squadron back in the day (as well as ADC interceptor squadrons).  I could have been stationed there once upon a time and it would have been a plum assignment, seeing as how it was in the Metro Deetroit area.  Most radar sites were off on top of mountains and in other gawdfersaken locations strung around the periphery of these United States.  Somehow or other I wound up in those kind o' places during the radar phase of my career... the luck o' the draw, and all that.  There are those who would consider North Bend AFS, Oregon to be a plum assignment, however.  And I will admit life there was very, very good.