tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18232353.post9209395124871673316..comments2023-12-27T13:35:09.431-07:00Comments on Exile in Portales: "A Certain Coarseness"Buckhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05319116022465066060noreply@blogger.comBlogger15125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18232353.post-29658952497449698422009-03-28T09:32:00.000-06:002009-03-28T09:32:00.000-06:00Thanks for sharing. I have had many conversations ...Thanks for sharing. I have had many conversations about this with close friends. I have read opinions and perspectives by persons of various age groups. I do agree with you on most of this. Also, thank you for serving.Lluviahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15372624951209457246noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18232353.post-53679402537821442932009-03-25T14:00:00.000-06:002009-03-25T14:00:00.000-06:00Lou sez: Thanks to my parents strict discipline, ...Lou sez: <I>Thanks to my parents strict discipline, I still struggle calling someone older than me by their first name, Mr. Pennington:) </I><BR/><BR/>You may call me Buck, Lou. <B>:D</B><BR/><BR/>Seriously, though... I was raised the same way you were and always use "Ma'am" when speaking to women, regardless of age, to this day. And "sir" in the case of men, but that's a semi-military thing.<BR/><BR/>Ann: Your "that's my mother-in-law" story is familiar... I've heard that and variations on that theme quite a bit. It would be an interesting thought exercise to compare the levels of acceptable address by age or generation, but I'm not at all up to that... at the moment.<BR/><BR/>Jim sez: <I>I think the distinction needs to be made between private crassness and public crassness.</I><BR/><BR/>Well put and your examples were spot-on. We're of the same mind on ALL points.<BR/><BR/>I haven't ridden Amtrack in years and years but I DID read about the "quiet car" thing. I think that's a GREAT idea... and wish there was a way to get people to consider the concept involved when it comes to the larger public sphere.<BR/><BR/>Katy: I have a friend who still sends thank-you notes (always!) too, and the reactions she gets to her acts of kindness/social graces are identical to those you receive. I think it's SO sad that these sorts of things have gone by the boards.Buckhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05319116022465066060noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18232353.post-88172046763246294302009-03-24T12:27:00.000-06:002009-03-24T12:27:00.000-06:00One of the things I notice about my colleagues and...One of the things I notice about my colleagues and friends - even if they are the most courteous and lovely people - is that they are SHOCKED when, say after attending a dinner at their house, I send them a thank you note. I *always* get an email/txt/phone call after they received it saying how "nice" it was of me to send a thank you. <BR/>Seriously - my grandma and ma drilled that one into me, but I guess that's just not common in today's world...MezzoCOhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07146281913189648485noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18232353.post-18984615542801761142009-03-24T12:05:00.000-06:002009-03-24T12:05:00.000-06:00Ann, When I first started teaching, I was not much...Ann, When I first started teaching, I was not much older than my high school students. I could not help calling some of the teachers, who were old enough to be my parents, by titles - until one of them told me to stop it.<BR/><BR/>I was taught to always introduce people and to add some info that the people meeting might have in common - that way if you left them to chat, they might have a topic to discuss.Bag Bloghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01885412195900280096noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18232353.post-30541301652003491642009-03-24T10:41:00.000-06:002009-03-24T10:41:00.000-06:00I think the distinction needs to be made between p...I think the distinction needs to be made between private crassness and public crassness.<BR/><BR/>For instance, I'm lewd and obscene, sometimes, on my blog. People have to make a conscious effort to access it, though. If they find my writing distasteful, they need not return. I will not hunt them down and be rude at their place. That would be private crassness, and I consider as acceptable now as when Twain wrote "1601", his infamous treatise on farting.<BR/><BR/>Public crassness is epidemic and needs to be annihilated as soon as possible. I, too, am sick of hearing ads for erectile dysfunction and tampons and birth control and every other function of the human body (those not sexual, but scatological, included) on my airwaves. Enough. And if I never hear another public cell phone conversation, I will die a very happy man.<BR/><BR/>I don't know if you've ridden AMTRAK lately, Buck, but they have an innovation called "The Quiet Car". It is a part of the train wherein those who enter agree to not use cell phones, computers, etc., even limiting conversation to a minimum. It is a wonderful innovation and I would like to see something similar brought to fruition in all aspects of our lives. I'm not sure how something like that could be accomplished at, say, a baseball game, but I sure as hell will scream at the next person I sit beside who is making a phone call while I'm trying to enjoy the action.Suldoghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07778845367184916684noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18232353.post-8597345611262385662009-03-24T10:06:00.000-06:002009-03-24T10:06:00.000-06:00BagBlog jogged a long, lost memory...we never call...BagBlog jogged a long, lost memory...we never called adults by their first names growing up. <BR/><BR/>When I first moved to MT and was a Mrs., a family in the neighborhood had their children use titles and it totally confused me to be addressed as Mrs. Brooks, who was my mother-in-law... And Maam makes me feel old. It is, though nice to be asked by a young person how they might address me - respectful and good manners. To this day, I do not address an older person by their first name unless they introduce themselves that way.<BR/><BR/>That brings up another manners thing - making an introduction which is another almost lost art.<BR/><BR/>And, oh yeah, identifying yourself when you phone someone :)!Lizhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13925164639039478342noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18232353.post-46102039669886609342009-03-24T07:44:00.000-06:002009-03-24T07:44:00.000-06:00Thanks to my parents strict discipline, I still st...Thanks to my parents strict discipline, I still struggle calling someone older than me by their first name, Mr. Pennington:) There is something about being raised in the 70's that makes me love my t-shirt and jeans - clean and nice, but comfy. I think a nice pair of jeans looks better than some polyester pants I have seen that are considered "dressy." Besides, if I didn't wear jeans and a t-shirt most of the time, no one would notice when I realy did dress up.Bag Bloghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01885412195900280096noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18232353.post-91228168754872999282009-03-24T05:51:00.000-06:002009-03-24T05:51:00.000-06:00I read the article and most of the comments.Whew!I...I read the article and most of the comments.<BR/><BR/>Whew!<BR/><BR/>I too, am sick up and fed of most of the mindnumbingcrap (one word) in our world.<BR/><BR/>The commercial that creeps me out? Those ED ones where the couple are sitting in separate bath tubs in a fargin' meadow. Huh?<BR/><BR/>Pisses me off that someone would THINK of this trash. <BR/><BR/>Get the hell out of those stupid tubs, and get back home and work on improving your relationship!Barco Sin Vela IIhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15621907771132379553noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18232353.post-64627097769148455342009-03-24T01:12:00.000-06:002009-03-24T01:12:00.000-06:00Jenny sez: Does that mean I'm getting old, too?I ...Jenny sez: <I>Does that mean I'm getting old, too?</I><BR/><BR/>I ain't touching THAT with a ten-foot pole, except perhaps for a generic statement to the effect of "we're ALL getting older." :D<BR/><BR/>Kris sez: <I>I've seen it everywhere but never moreso than now - whilst on crutches.</I><BR/><BR/>I hear ya, Kris. Your blog post in this space was just more fuel for the fire.<BR/><BR/>Ann sez: <I>I experience a good amount of good manners and thoughtfulness where I live (small town) but also a lot of sloppy behavior as well as downright rudeness.</I><BR/><BR/>Same here, in the same sort of environment. I have to say the rudeness I experience in P-Ville is a LOT less than in any major city I've ever lived in, though. That... and there's merit in your theory. Respect begins at home, to coin a phrase.<BR/><BR/>Bob sez: <I>Well mannered doesn't have to mean well dressed and "proper" (in the Emily Post sense).</I><BR/><BR/>Thanks for that. I look like a real bum sometimes (faded, torn, and patched Levis being the principal cause) but I think I'm always polite.<BR/><BR/>Buck: On the quote... Heinlein, perhaps? And Sean IS a very polite and well-mannered young man. You and Erm have done well.<BR/><BR/>Buckskins sez: <I>Not in my house, however.</I><BR/><BR/>Funny how this trait tends to run in military families, eh? :D<BR/><BR/>I was taking my life in my hands... almost literally...if ever I was ill-mannered in my father's house. Many's the time I got a pop in the mouth for a slip of the tongue... and I'm not particularly damaged from the effects, either.Buckhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05319116022465066060noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18232353.post-84095339167634808492009-03-23T21:35:00.000-06:002009-03-23T21:35:00.000-06:00I agree with these sentiments wholeheartedly. Res...I agree with these sentiments wholeheartedly. Respect and manners seem to be the exception, rather than the norm. Not in my house, however.Dave (aka Buckskins Rule)https://www.blogger.com/profile/07764864394651709866noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18232353.post-1994377153548382062009-03-23T20:59:00.000-06:002009-03-23T20:59:00.000-06:00The downfall of manners! Once described by someone...The downfall of manners! Once described by someone (can't remember who) as "necessary social lubricant," I personally subscribe to the "More is better!" theory in this space. I'm doing my best to raise a young gentleman and am often rewarded with people noticing what a good boy Sean truly is! I have to thank my parents for that...so THANKS DAD!<BR/><BR/>People notice and remember. <BR/><BR/>My .02$ on this subject...<BR/><BR/>SN1AFMAJBUCKhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07448511201317559376noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18232353.post-47524516694709589532009-03-23T20:46:00.000-06:002009-03-23T20:46:00.000-06:00Well mannered doesn't have to mean well dressed an...Well mannered doesn't have to mean well dressed and "proper" (in the Emily Post sense). Courtesy simply means you care -- it means being more concerned about others than you are about yourself. We all fall short in that regard, but the trend has definitely been headed the wrong way.Bobhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10120554561277504589noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18232353.post-68570849096819458262009-03-23T17:41:00.000-06:002009-03-23T17:41:00.000-06:00I experience a good amount of good manners and tho...I experience a good amount of good manners and thoughtfulness where I live (small town) but also a lot of sloppy behavior as well as downright rudeness. I think the poor behavior comes mostly from those who feel "less than" - being pushy and self-centered feeds a sense of self importance that they don't otherwise have. Self respect has to come from being a productive member of society. There is the rub in my mind.Lizhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13925164639039478342noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18232353.post-25868024971070784932009-03-23T16:34:00.000-06:002009-03-23T16:34:00.000-06:00I too agree. I've seen it everywhere but never mor...I too agree. I've seen it everywhere but never moreso than now - whilst on crutches.<BR/><BR/>The incredible cluelessness of the great unwashed never ceases to amaze me. I've had a few positive experiences, but for every one of those there are 3 that aren't so positive.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18232353.post-2933996564893621982009-03-23T15:15:00.000-06:002009-03-23T15:15:00.000-06:00I agree. Does that mean I'm getting old, too?I agree. Does that mean I'm getting old, too?Jennyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10967546226890745086noreply@blogger.com